2006-01-17 Askoga: Very good story. It grabbed me from the title, but was nothing like I had expected. I enjoyed the reading imensely, and hope to see more in the future. 2006-05-30 Athilea: It's a very good story. It does grip the reader, but there were errors with some of the sentences that confused me a little as well. I would suggest reading back through it to revises those few sentences. Otherwise it is a wonderful and unexpected story. 2006-06-05 Necavi: Yeah, I'm aware of the errors. I've just been a bit too tired as of late to deal with these things. Thank you though. =3 I'll get to them soon.[Necavi]: 121.Fanged Beauties
Rating: 0.00
We stopped by a small pond, and bathed. I looked down at my ghostly reflection, and ran my hands down my body. I was always told by my mother that I developed early. If you were in the city, girls would be jealous, Mum would say, as she loosened the dress around my breasts. I never liked talking about it, and I guess I still don’t… I was slapped. Hard. I fell to my knees in front of her, and started to apologize, even though I did not know why I was being punished. She lifted my chin up, and a small smile curled the corners of her lips. What is she doing?, I asked myself as she kissed my lips softly, and helped me to my feet. She embraced me, and whispered Fiona into my ear. Fiona?, I asked confused. She replied saying, That’s what you shall call me for now on, dear. Oh, I thought. Fiona. Too innocent a name for her. I only nodded. She placed one of her fingers over my lips when I started to ask… What was it I wished to ask? I forgot… But she asked my name instead. Res Angelus Nullus. Fiona laughed a little, and shook her head. She re-named me Necavi D. Omnes, This name will suit you more, for now on. Except you may decide what the D stands for dear. Her breath sent shivers down my spine… It smelled like mint and poppies… Quite a lovely smell, truth be told…
All I remember from that night is getting bathed by Fiona, getting my hair combed, and dancing. We happened upon some traders that passed by our spot, but I didnt eat. I didnt care...
Pack up, was her command... I, of course, obeyed. If I did not, she would sell me off to those old priests that were lonely, or atleast that was what I was threatened. But I guess that I should have known then, that I was going to be sold into slavery for a few jewels. I packed a pair of pants and a shirt that I stole from a young Duke, that was like me... Healthy and strong, yet a bit petit. That didnt really matter though, he was a handsome young lad. Well, that was until I had to drain him for Fiona's amusement... I can still see his horrified expression... I could see how betrayed he felt, even though he did not know me, and how scared he was. I dont know why, but it burned itself into the back of my mind, appearing only when I take another life. Which I suppose is why I only drink every other three days, seeing as I dont really have to drink every day... I discovered this, in my eleventh year.
His name was Louis Syfer the third. His father, Louis Syfer the second... And to his father I was sold. Ironic, isnt it? Well, I thought it was funny.
Louis Syfer the second, now known to me as Lucifer, first wanted me to come to his mansion as a maid. After he saw me... He had different things in mind. My first night in the mansion was alright. My room was shared with two other girls that did not like me, however. They thought of me as prudish, and too naive because I would never take part in swapping erotic stories with the others in my spare time, and instead I would finish my chores or find a sleeping person to feed off of like a leech. I thought of them as crude, and too willing to grow up. Besides, I knew they were still virgins. Their scents were too fresh. But I guess that does not matter now, seeing as they're dead...
My first real encounter with the duke was while I was cleaning his bed chamber. I could hear that he was in his bathroom and taking a bath from the patterns the air made as it came out from under the door. I should have paid more attention, though. As I was cleaning the floor around his desk, I felt someone put their hands on my waist, to pull me closer. Of course, I reconized his scent. Yes, m'lord?, I asked, standing up and turning around. He was very tall... And I will admit that he was very handsome. I had to look up to see his face. He was only dressed in a robe, as he smiled, and cupped my face in his hands and kissed my forehead. Yes, m'lord?, I said a bit louder. He chuckled, and shook his head. Ah, so naive, so fresh, He whispered. No normal person could hear it, although I did.
I stepped back, disgusted. Pervert. Now, while it is true that a vampire gets stronger as time goes on, it take a long time to get like Marius or Lestat. Or, Zillah if you prefer Poppy Z. Brite... And for me, I had the strength of a youth, nothing compared to this man. He laughed louder, and took a step towards me, grabbing my wrists and flinging me onto his bed. Bloody hell, what was that for?! I shouted, gathering myself, as his laugh echoed in my mind. What does he want from me? This kept going through my head as I slipped down from the bed. His stare was unnerving...
((will be continued))