2007-03-01 Mister Saint: This is a good story. It seems more about the situation surrounding the act than the act itself, but that doesn't necessarily make it less worthy. 2007-03-01 Jenna Rose: o_O It didn't notify me that I had a comment here... Heh. 2007-03-01 sanctuary1: its really good. i cant wait to see more of it. 2007-03-01 Jenna Rose: Thank you ^^ I should have some more in this category soon.[Jenna Rose]: 150.Erotica.Yo
Rating: 0.75 [WARNING!]
Contains mature subject matter.
You Stayed
Carter rolled over in bed and his face broke into a smile at what he saw. Lily was still beside him, sound asleep, the sheet hugging her naked body. Her lips were parted slightly, and a small smile played on her lips as she dreamed.
He leaned over her and kissed her lips softly, brushing a strand of hair off of her cheek with his fingers. As he moved away, she opened her eyes, smiling up at him.
“Hi there,” he said, propping himself up on an elbow. “You stayed.”
She nodded, then stretched slightly as she replied. “You asked me to.”
“Did you want to?”
“Yes... It was really nice.”
He smiled again. “Good. Maybe we can do it more often... Or make it more permanent.”
She frowned slightly, sitting up. “What do you mean?”
His eyes roamed down to her chest where the sheet had slipped, exposing one of her breasts. “Hmm... I mean, I want you to live with me.” He moved his hand up under the sheet, hooking his arm around her waist and pulling her close, kissing her collar bone lightly.
Lily laughed, pushing him away slightly. “Carter, we’ve only known each other a few months. And besides that, we live practically across from one another.”
“So?”
“So? What would be the point?”
He looked her in the eyes, dead serious. “I told you. I love you, Lily. I want you here when I wake up and when I go to sleep. When I come home from work, or back from the stables. I want you in my house, OUR house. Not in a different one. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
She started up at him, her smile fading. “Carter... I told you how I felt about this, I can’t...”
He cut her off. “You can sleep with me but you can’t love me?”
“No... I... You know why, Carter. Please, let’s talk about something else.”
“I told you. I don’t care about your ex-husband or what he thinks. And I don’t care that the baby you’re carrying isn’t mine. I’ll love it like it is. I already love it, just like I love you. I’ll take care of you, Lily. You and the baby. Please, trust me. I’m not like Wayne.”
Lily looked away. “I’m just scared, Carter... I’m scared.”
He pulled her close again, holding her body against his as he laid back down, wrapping himself around her. “I know, baby, I know... I love you.”
She looked up at him again. “I love you too.”
He kissed her, running his hands through her hair, then down to her shoulders, rubbing them. Kissing him back, she wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing against him. He slid his tongue into her mouth, touching the tip of her’s lightly as he worked one of his hands under the sheet and between her legs.
Lily gasped softly as his fingers found her and spread her folds, his thumb rubbing her swollen nub gently. She lifted her hips up slightly against his hand, running her tongue along his neck lightly, making him shiver.
Carter rolled slightly, pressing her onto her back, and smiled at her before lowing his lips to her chest, covering her breasts with light kisses as he slipped two of his fingers inside of her. She moaned his name and arched her back slightly, closing her eyes as she ran her fingers through his hair.
Moving his fingers slowly, he ran his tongue over the ripened tip of her breast, dragging his teeth along it and finally wrapping his lips around it, sucking gently. Moaning in rhythm to the thrust of his fingers, she raised one her knees between his legs, moving it back and forth across his throbbing manhood.
He growled deep in his throat, kissing her neck gently. “You’re asking for it...”
She lifted her head up and kissed him deeply, sliding on her arms around his neck. Then, looking up into his eyes, she whispered “Please?”
He moaned, then kissed her again, deeply, fiercely. She kissed him back passionately, wanting to feel him all over her, inside of her. He pressed her thighs apart with his knees gently, moving over her and settling himself against her. Feeling her heat and wetness made him moan again and grow harder.
Cupping the back of her neck with one hand, he kissed her hard, holding onto the kiss as he slowly pushed past her entrance, then thrust hard and deep into her. She cried out softly against his lips, arching against him, her breasts flattening against his chest.
Breathing heavily, he kissed his way down her neck, moving slow but hard inside of her. She moved with him steadily, her hips thrusting up to meet his, pushing him deep, all the way inside of her. She moaned his name loudly, feeling him hit her back wall, and tightened around him, holding him there for a moment.
Moaning, he lowered his head onto her shoulder, pressing his hips tight to hers. “God, I love you...” He whispered into her ear. “I love you so much, Lily.”
“I love you, too, Carter.”
They kissed softly, and he started moving inside of her again, a little quicker, but not as hard. He could feel her tensing up underneath of him, her gasps coming closer together, her skin glistening. He could feel her tighten around him, and as her walls clenched down and started to spasm, he held her close and let himself go, whispering "I love you" repeatedly in her ear, as they reached ecstasy together.
© Jennifer Radford
The weakness of this sort of writing is that it only lends itself to certain words. "Moan" for example... a writer can't help but use it because there really isn't another word for it that fits perfectly. Because of that, I tend to think that poetry is better for erotic writing - you can use more unexpected language in it.
Sorry for the tangent! This story is evocative, for sure, sets things up nicely and delivers what it promises. Depends on your audience, but I almost want to suggest trimming some of the actual 'this where they're doing it' part, leaving more to our imaginations. But that's just me. ^^
Thanks. :) It's a part out of a chapter of a story I'm writing... There happens to be a lot of this kind of stuff in the story, because Lily is basically just experiencing what passion feels like and such. And I wasn't going to have as much of a descriptive part when they're doing it, but I figured that's what the contest was about, and I liked how it turned out in the end :P
And trust me... My stuff can get worse/more graphic than this, and go for a lot longer. This one isn't one of those though. xD
And another thing, I agree with you [Mister Saint], that you can run out of more colorful words to use and need to repeat like "moan" over and over... But I can't seem to do anything sex-wise on a poem.