[Kuzco]: 212.Famous First Lines entries.The summary of Everythi

The summary of everything:

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.
It was pretty fucked up is what it was. People say humanity’s capable of anything, what they don’t say is that when presented with a situation, humanity is so capable of anything that it reacts in everyway possible! Apparently some oiling company messed with a far more powerful energy source than they imagined and drilled a hole way too close to the core for comfort, Earth’s comfort. Apparently it, or her as you might wish to call our home, has decided we are way too dangerous to keep alive so she’s discarding us.
Of course some will say that the tectonic plates moving erratically, obviously due to said incision, is nothing short of a geological reaction. Personally, I’m with those three loonies out there screaming quotes from the book of Genesis, only difference is I’m no loony and though humanity’s done for, I’m not dead yet. I’m staying right here, me and my boomstick. Anyone come around to defile my home or my family, they’re eating lead. My home’s not much though, my adult daughter had a nervous breakdown and has been breaking stuff since the news came out, my baby son’s having a field day though with his video games and such. I find it odd that electricity still works but I’m not one to argue, we’ve told the boy the truth but he seems to deny it. 
Oh yeah, right, haven’t explained yet. Its pretty simple actually, the world’s coming to an end. The ground’s splitting open all over the world, the smarty brains say before the year’s over there’ll only be 10% of land left. The climacteric backlash of this transformation will clean any life on that and on the sea leaving only the microscopic fish-cells alive. Heh, see? That’s why the live entity earth theory doesn’t sound that crazy to me: everything dies except for the life that started it all?! I’m no computer wiz but that sounds to me like a reset, them…reboot I think it’s called. Once heard this joke, four engineers are riding in a car: A chemist, a mechanic, an electronic and a computer engineer. The car suddenly breaks down and they immediately start arguing.
“It’s the gasoline!” Shouted the chemist. “the combusting process and whatnot is bad ‘cause of the gasoline type.”
“Don’t be a fool!” Shouted the mechanic, usually the one you listen too about broken down cars. “It’s the usual problems. The carburettor, some junction got unjunctioned…” or something I dunno, I’m just a farmer. Anyways, the electrician argues that point.
“C’mon, the lights are all off. It’s obviously…”, they like that word “obvious”. Heh, like if there was such a thing as obvious things in this world, anyways yeah, he said: “It’s obviously an electric problem, we need to open this and check the wires.”
“Tell you what guys.” Spoke the computing engineer. “Why don’t we all get out of the car, close the doors, count to 10, then get back in and start it again?”
…
I didn’t get it either, supposedly only computer “wizes” get that, the moral is that the most common first treatment to deal with a computer problem is to reset it. And heck, last few years, them brainyacks’ve been comparing everything to computers! The brain, the cells, a dog, the earth, the planet, everything; for that reason, that theory makes sense to me. Current intelligent life’s a problem to the overall machine…herm…status?! It needs to reset.
But that’s neither here nor there, we got the news 7 months back, that we were all going to die and, moral of my tale here, is that humanity did EVERYTHING.
We had “suicidals”, we had “homicidals”, we had looters and rioters, “rapers” and “nymphos” and “desperates” like my daughter but the fact of the matter is we also got people singing, cheering, writing, taking pictures, working if you can believe that, teaching and learning.
Ye see, some of us flip negatively, mentioned those, I gather it’s not hard for you to tell who they are. Others flip positively, like “I’ve always wanted to surf! Ima surf!” or people climbing mount Rushmore. Hell, I’ve heard of a class from some school who decided to paint stuff over their faces. Accordingly, another group’s keeping watch so no one touches the engraved forefathers. Positive flips also include neighbourhood watchers and security enforcers: people who have never fought before feel now the need and duty to do so, for those that can’t. And then there’s the non-flippers, the conscientious down to earth “I will not be shaken” kind like meself. So we’re gonna die now instead than 20 years from now or 50 or whatever more, who gives a rat’s ass? It’s saddening yeah and there are flippers still trying to save us all. If they do, I want me house and family in good state. If they don’t, I want me house and family in good state for when we pass on, together.
I dunno if I’s able to make my topic clear, I’ve been watchin’d observing everyone I can and it is true. Humanity’s capable of anything, if you present a situation to every member of this insane race, every possible reaction and attitude will be portrayed and carried out. I’ve seen everything:
People who thought about what to do wisely and those fools harming everyone they can. People who have completely accepted it, like me, people who don’t believe the world’s gonna end, like my baby son. People who carry out all the good in them and people who finally display the evil that has lain controlled inside and now unleashes its dark claws over undeserving souls. People who can only live with the hope that some of those flippers will find a way to keep us all alive, like my wife, and people who lash out at the world out of despaired frustration.
Finally, that is why, my friends, I say this year was the age of all things and because of that it may very well be the best and worst of times in our history for everyone shows their true colours on these days, so anyone and everyone can witness the best and worst of us, of all things.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair… It was the overmuch of nothing, it was the summary of everything.