[Aradon Templar]: 240.The Diary of Ernest Fairchild

The following is an excerpt of a diary written by a civil rights activist concerned with fair treatment of all human beings, and equally benevolent treatment of animals. The first entry in the excerpt is near the beginning of his career when he first became concerned with the issue of fairness and insulting and/or derogatory terms.

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from
The Diary of Ernest Fairchild

June 16
    I was walking to the office today, and started up a conversation with my friend. I had never before realized the extent of discrimination’s reach. The term ‘black’ is still used freely, and I can only imagine the grief this is causing the African-American race, with no cause or provocation. They deserve equal treatment, and still people call their race ‘black’, without regard to the feelings of those poor people. Honestly! But the situation has grown even worse. Never before have I realized that the racist attitude has always been present towards Caucasians as well! Caucasians are unfailingly referred to as ‘white’, as if that were any better than calling African Americans ‘black’. No, from now on I resolve to fight this unacceptably racist attitude by referring to the race as ‘European American’ or ‘Australian American’. I imagine this will create some difficulties on my part, as I shall have to learn the ancestral background of all my colleagues and friends, but it is a worthy cause, fighting against this abominable practice of separating people by their skin color. Oh, atrocities! But it grows worse yet! The color obsession has spread even to animals. A cat is most commonly identified by its color. A person would say, “Oh, I got a grey cat the other day,” or “I lost a white and orange cat. Tell me if you see one,” as if it were the cat’s fault it was colored as it was. The indigence of people! I just can’t stand this practice. I think from now on, I shall call a black cat an ‘African American’ cat. It only seems right, and polite. After all, the term can’t possibly be offensive to them. And an orange cat will be… um… Well, it’s getting late, I’ll find where they came from later.

June 23
    The horror! It sickens me to realize the extent that discrimination has pervaded society. I only noticed it upon watching what I perceived to be a harmless game of chess. The insidious game is touted as ‘the game of kings’ and a wonderfully mind-challenging game that is supposedly good for our children. Good for our children! Pah! It poisons the minds of our children at an early age. Just think, for a moment, on the concepts of the game. The pieces are colored white versus black. How thinly veiled the creators did mask this racist game. But even worse, besides making a clear distinction between the two of us (as if there were a noticeable difference!), the ‘game’ teaches that white goes first. No wonder society believes that European Americans are better than African Americans. And it goes deeper. I never realized this before, but what about the old chalkboards. They used to be called blackboards. But now, they’re replaced with the ‘better’ whiteboards. And those poor African American cats. They’re always called bad luck. Just because they’re ‘black’. It’s racism pervaded all throughout society, I am convinced! And it’s not directed just at African Americans, either. Black and white photographs were invented before color photographs. Apparently European Americans and African Americans were important enough to need pictures, but who thought of Asians or Native Americans? Their skin color wasn’t photographed correctly, simply because the inventors couldn’t bother to invent colored photographs with black and white ones! How utterly inconsiderate. And to think that they got away with the atrocity without any chastisement.

July 2
    Today held another thought-provoking incident that I am grateful my eyes captured. I saw today a large, well-muscled school child who was being scolded because he bumped another child into the wall as they were walking in line back from recess. My first thought was, “Good, they are maintaining discipline and correcting troublemakers. The school’s performance is admirable.” But then I realized that the child was rather large, and obviously stronger than the other children of his age (they were only about 8 years old). It might not have been his fault that the child was bumped into the wall. Kids called the large one a bully, but was it really his fault? Perhaps he wasn’t shoving someone to get the basketball, maybe he was only tapping him on the shoulder to ask for it, but due to his overly large muscles, he accidentally pushed him harder than he wanted. People like these are often unfairly judged, and given names like ‘bully’, or ‘drunkard’, or ‘blonde’. How would I feel if I were called a bully, simply because I grew faster than everyone else? That’s not my fault, then. These people should be called, ‘hormonally advanced’, a positive name. Perhaps then they wouldn’t feel misgivings towards everyone else. And ‘drunkards.’ They don’t always choose to be drunk; they’re addicted, and can’t help it very much. No, they don’t deserve the title, ‘drunkard.’ Rather, they’re ‘periodically unsober.’ The ‘blonde’ misnomer is rather bad as well. It’s the same issue as with skin color. They don’t choose to have blonde hair… Well… Now, they might, but that’s not really up to them always. I guess. But in any case, it’s completely unreasonable to assume that all blondes are dumb. It’s too late to undo the stereotype of blondes, however, so I will now do my best not to call anyone blonde. Instead, they are ‘light-yellow-haired.’ Similarly, and to prevent further discrimination based on hair color, I shall apply this to all people. No longer are there brunettes, but ‘dark-red haired’ people, so on and so forth. I’m sure they will appreciate these changes. The fact that I’m calling them something less associated with bad things must really diminish the differences between them and everyone else.

July 12
    As if childhood games weren’t enough, now I find that discrimination has been instilled in nursery rhymes as well. Baa baa black sheep. Even worse disguised than chess. “Baa baa black sheep, have you any wool?” “Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full.” Sounds exactly like the enslaved African Americans, who had to get enough cotton for their masters, or face dire consequences. Obviously our children are being trained at the nursery-age to believe that it is the ‘black sheep’ that is to give wool, rather than the white sheep. It’s all racism, under the innocence of a nursery rhyme. I am convinced, in fact, that this is some sort of a conspiracy against equality. And I can tell it is working, too. The very same day I was observing the teaching of this hideous nursery rhyme, I witnessed a hormonally advanced child aggressively tapping another child. Coincidences of coincidences, one was European American (I think), and the other was African American. The fight was instigated, I concluded, because one believed the other was inferior. Perhaps the European American saw the African American as a black sheep, who owed him three bags of wool. And this they learn in preschool. As well, they hear about Humpty Dumpty, a worldwide-famous nursery character who fell off a wall and got famous off of it. And people wonder why children of older ages intentionally hurt themselves for attention. Obviously, they got it from this nursery rhyme! If preschools would simply stop teaching all stupid rhymes (I’m sure the others are horribly racist and discriminatory as well), we could live in a world of harmony. But no. Children are still growing up hearing all about how a European American is superior to an African American. Attack the roots, I say! It is certainly a problem in today’s education system.

July 23
    It occurred to me today, after a talk with a foreign exchange student, that my naming system for Americans only works in America. I cannot call a purely European person a European American. This will complicate my overseas trips, though I’ve also devised a genius way around the obstacle. We refer to the people who were in America first as Native Americans. Therefore, I will simply call those who were always in England ‘Native English’, and the same for Germany, and France, and all the other countries that matter. This, I am convinced, is a truly wise idea, and quite considerate towards everyone, I am sure. I am quite confident that the Native English will be pleased with their new title, as it is quite fair towards the people, and accurately reflects who they are. But a problem in society showed up as I considered this point. The people who move from one country to another have such a hard time establishing a good reputation when they are referred to as a generic ‘immigrant’, which already holds a poor reputation. No, the term ‘immigrant’ is offensive as it implies that the person speaks a foreign language, has little work experience, and is unwealthy. It must be replaced with something more suitable, and I have just the term for these misjudged people. They can now be called, ‘ethnically different’. Such a fair term holds no previous reputation, and will allow the ethnically different groups to be judged on their own value. It further de-emphasizes the differences between them and everyone else by naming their differences specifically, as all politically correct terms ought to. The world would be far better off if they’d just listen to me, I think. We’d all be happier, and everyone would be treated fairly and equally, and nobody could even tell that there were differences between each other, because they’d be named so well.

July 31
    Well, I’ll say! I think I was only too accurate in my self-appraisal a week ago. The world does need to listen to me. I say! This racism and discrimination must stop! Why, today, I saw a pair of humans, one European American and one German European, both light haired, playing that insidious game they call chess. An unwise choice, I told myself. Those people are probably racists themselves, by now! And lo and behold, I was vindicated! A poor African American cat knocked over a few of the pieces on the board, and the pair of humans chased it off, simply because it was of a different race than them. They called it bad luck, too. Heaping insult upon insult, one, whom I later decided must have been hormonally advanced or abnormally violent, threw a kick in the direction of the cat in frustration. Then the two began to reset the chessboard, evidently already addicted to the detrimental game. One asked, “Do you want to be white or black?” and I had to restrain myself from instructing them on the pure racism that ran through the comment. Worse, the other replied, “White, of course.” And the first thought nothing of it, and accepted being African American without a word. The two mindlessly demonstrated the rampant growth of racism without thought, and I can see clearly where it is coming from, after my past observations. I have decided that it is up to me to begin speaking out against these horrors, and that they must come to an end. I will see to that personally, or call me a light-haired fool!

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Ernest soon quit his job to speak out against these apparent inequities and abuses. His speeches became impressively popular, and he found a steady career, though inadvertently, as a stand up comedian.