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2006-02-06 grushaj: Ok, this is one of many pieces of your poetry I've now read... and here is the honest thing... I really get your messages strong, and many of them I fully agree with. One of the best things a poet can do is make an important point or reflect upon the signifigance of something... you do both, and that's excellent. [Today for you, tomorrow for me]: 256.Poetry.A Cage Named Society
Rating: 0.00 Uploaded by: Created: 2005-12-31 22:49:38 Keywords: Style:poetryLicense:Free for reading
Impersonal greetings
Wouldn't it be glorious
If people cared
People knew
If the basic instinct to judge
Was replaced by something greater?
People dying inside
Icy, infectious rage
It spreads everywhere
Why can't we just get along
Just . . . learn to love people
For who they are?
So much blame
Too much pretending
No one dares to be themselves
And who is to condemn them
For as of now
It is wrong
So much yearning
Pleading,
Screaming,
From my compromised heart
Thank you society
For bringing hate into the world
What is inescapable
What we cannot change
Why do we lie
With out thinking
Why do we deny ourselves
The gift of being different?
What others think?
When did mankind
Begin to care more about other's opinions
Than their own
What's the use of fitting in
If it means to be caged?
Morning comes . . .
Time to put on a happy face
Time to play a different role
Why does your heart
Refuse to stop bleeding
To stop aching
What the Bill of Rights
Protects so fiercely?
So much pretending
Always Trick-or-Treat
Why is every day Halloween
Why do people refuse to be themselves?
Of course... there is some bad. I feel like your word choice can be dull, it doesn't convey your feelings with enough strength or passion.. which I can relate because often I can have the same problem. I'd try taking one of your favorites and just play around with multiple versions, trying different levels of inflection, changing around word choice, formatting and style changes, etc.
Anyhow, I enjoyed the read. Keep up the good work and continue to evolve as a writer.. its a constant battle for all us! :P