[RiddleRose]: 298.Gold Dust - NaNoWriMo '07.Chapter twenty two

Chapter twenty two.

Wren was quiet for a minute, then remembered that he still had Alyssa Malcolm's diary in his pocket. He took it out, and opened it to a random page. He read:
“there are no words. i am so relieved that tomorrow is the last day of the mod. there are NO WORDS.

“i'll miss photo and dance, but that's it. and i might be doing dance next mod anyway. you never know.

“tori was here today, but i was so freakishly busy i didn't get to see her at all. i don't even know when she left, how long she was here... anything. i'm so sorry i missed you darling. i miss you! let's hang out! and write, because i am behind on my nanovel! or actually, we could talk about how we are about to START writing, any minute now, as son as we finish this sentence.

“except my mod break is rapidly filling up, and i NEED at least one day all to myself, with no obligations. i NEED it. a lot.

“my hatred of math is slowly being resurrected. damn oyu bad math teachers. liz! help! come be awesome some more!

“i feel bad. i feel like i'm getting slowly and slowly and slower. also, my grammar and editing and writing skills are dead right now. apologies. i think this mod break will be one in which i am exhaustion-sick. not necessarily bad, although it'll make me feel like shit. still, i'd rather it happened then than during school.

“not looking forward to next mod.

“and i've run out of clean red clothes.

“grrr.“

She didn't sound particularly happy in that entry. She sounded rather worn out and displeased in fact. Wren was disappointed. The entries he had already read had all been so happy! He had built this girl up into some sort of paragon of happiness, and here she was being normal and angsty. She sounded about his age. He imagined her as a little younger, maybe seventeen.

He flipped to another entry, slightly before the one he had just read, wondering what was the cause of her distress, and read:
“i'm gonna angst about teachers again.

“in native american studies, we did a project. the project was "to make a three dimensional piece which shows Zits' transformation over time." i quote that directly from the assignment sheet. (Zits is the main character)

“i am not the best at projects, but i told them that. they understood that i was better at concepts than at the actual representation of those concepts. at least, they said they did.

“i made a game, showing his transformation through that medium, using the metaphor of two families having a vendetta and getting revenge on each other in the game. revenge is one of the themes of the book, and Zits' entire journey is about revenge, along with some other things.

“everyone in the class who saw my game and read my artist's statement thought it was great, clear, and interesting. i worked decently hard on it. i was pleased, and expecting an A- or B+.

“here is the comment i got back today: "Alyssa, this was a very complex project. we could tell that you had put a lot of thought and effort into it. i know that you had been worried about producing a visual aid, since you don't think of yourself as a visual person, but you did a great job creating a board game. the idea of a game - representing progress and obstacles- worked wellto represent the themes you saw displayed in the book. however, we were puzzled as to why you chose to invent a whole new story to use and allegory. would this not have worked as a visual if you had used Zits' story? also, the concept of "winning" based on family members still alive seemed confusing- how was this connected to the lessons Zits learned?

“Grade: B-"

“not an acceptable grade. not at all acceptable considering that they seem to have missed the entire point of my project. the game did not represent progress and obstacles, the game represented the give and take of a vendetta, as each family tries to kill off the other family! if i had called one family "Indians" and the other "White people" would that have made it more clear? 

“no, it wouldn't have worked if i used Zits' story alone, because his story contains only one tangible act of revenge. the rest is implied strongly, but not actually shown. and also? you can't continually get revenge on one person when the preferred method is killing that person. they'd be dead too soon. is that unclear? apparently.

“i talked to them after class, and they basically told me that they didn't like the way i had done it, by creating a metaphor for his story. thus my grade was lowered. NOT OKAY.

“the same thing happened to Slaine. and Josh. i didn't get to talk to anyone else.”

Wren decided to read one more entry. He flipped to the next one in the little book, and read:

“not particularly looking forward to three hours of chem next mod, but i'm apparently in colin's thing, so that makes me happeh! and i have to remember to change my D block, or i will be sad.

“Art show was a success. i have decided that i want ot carry my digital camera around at school and really learn how to use it, how to take good pictures with it, and how to maybe fix them up a little in photoshop. even though i hate it when people do that, it feels like cheating. that movie we watched today REALLY made an impression on me. that is something i'd like to do. not specifically be a war photographer, but photograph war.

“lydia, i know what you mean about wishing for an apocalypse. 

“i think i would survive. i think i would adapt. i'm very good at adapting.  i learn quickly.  but perhaps i should start learning before it happens. it's always best to be prepared.  if i were to learn how to shoot a gun, not a big ugly gun, but a small, elegant, pistol. the type that could be carried in a purse and never ever used. that might be good. i'd get one with a mother of pearl handle. the paradox delights me.

“i'm so tired. forgive my disjointedness. i know what i mean. if you actually care that much, feel free to ask me to translate my late night meanderings for you.

“apocalypse. when it comes, i want to survive. “

Now Wren understood. Similar things had happened to him in high school, although it was mostly that he was not as good at essays as he was at projects. He decided to stop reading for now and go to sleep. He was tired.