2007-08-06 Ash: First off, in this sentence The would do what they would always do. you forgot a 'y', I do that sometimes, too. Secondly, the story doesn't make much of a story, one doesn't realize the plot until the more then half way through the story. Could we maybe hear about her longing for a prince in shining armor more at the begining? 2007-08-07 Phoxx: Thanx for your comments. 2007-08-07 Ash: Why not mix her arrogance and the knight together, a bit of a conversation with a servant can do that in five or six sentences. 2007-08-07 Phoxx: cool, thanx :)[Phoxx]: 30.Short stories.The arrogant Princess
Rating: 0.05
There once was.... a princess. She lived in a land you have never heard off, her name is not easy to pronounce so why bother. Very few of you will know her, and those that do will know who I'm speaking of anyway.
The country where the princess lived was not very big. But her father was king there (or so he thought, he was never crowned, but the people agreed to it in a way). And that made her a princess, thus she was important... or so she thought herself! There was really nothing special about the girl, apart from her family line. She wasn't extremely smart, or charming. She wasn't blessed with outstanding beauty (although she thought otherwise). She was nothing more than a normal girl, except for one thing! She thought she was really special. She thought that the things she would wear as clothes were the newest trend. She believed she was very smart. And above all, she just knew everybody had to love her!
Had she ever been more wrong? Many people couldn't stand her. Every sentence she spoke was filled with arrogance. People tried to stay out of her way. They talked about her, and not only behind her back. No! The princess was so full of herself that when she heard a negative comment, that couldn't possibly be about her! So she paid no attention to it.
She had everything her heart desired. A wealthy father, a beautiful kingdom, a large castle, self designed trendy clothes, and a few very close, fake friends that tried to share in her wealth. Oh and a big scar on her head, but she planned on having plastic surgery for that.
She got that scar when she was still a little princess...
On a day the sun was bright and the warm air was filled with the scent of roses and the songs of birds.
She ordered a young page to come out of the castle and play with her. They would do what they would always do. The princess pretended to be a... princess. And the little boy would be her horse. She had ordered him to build a kart in which she could stand to wave to her subjects. And the boy would be pulling the kart by a long handle.
And thus they played that very morning. The princess had put on makeup and her finest dress and went outside. The page reluctantly helped her into the kart and took hold of the handle. She commanded him to pull and so he did. Through the garden, around the pond, to the back of the castle, even a few steps into the forest (but they quickly went back into the fields, cause the princess couldn't get a tan in the shadows of the trees). Over the fields all the way to the gate. They had made a full circle around the huge castle, all through the grounds without a stop. The little boy was exhausted. But the arrogant princess wasn't done waving yet. She demanded a second tour.
Luckily little boys still have the innoncence of youth, were all people, royal or not, are equal. He did not know he couldn't treat the princess like he would treat his friends from the stable. "I quit!" he yelled and ran off to the kitchen to get himself some breakfast (the princess didn't want to wait till he ate). He swung the handle into the air and it accidentally hit the princess. Right above her eyebrow. She almost looked like a female Harry Potter.
The princess was in tears and cried for weeks without a stop. Her parents could finally calm her down by promising they would get the best doctor in the country to do surgery on her, and that the scar would be completely gone after that.
The little boy didn't show up for lunch, or dinner. In fact, nobody knows what became of him...
The only thing the princess didn't have, and wanted most, was a boyfriend.
Why was it that she couldn't find one?
Perhaps because the things she sought in a man were hard to find.
She wanted a knight, a real gentleman! Somebody to keep the door open for her, to buy her drinks and presents. To help her cross muddy pools, slay dragons and monsters on her path, to climb to the hightest top, and dive into the deepest sea... all just for her! A real knight in shining armor.
"Dumb, dumb, dumb princess.
You'll never find a guy with such high standards!" Who said that, the princess wondered?
She turned around and could just catch a glimpse of her fairy godmother, before she nocked the princess unconsious with her magic wand...
The princess woke up... to find that she wasn't a princess anymore!
She was just a normal girl, like there are so many in this world. No castle, no kingdom, no extreme wealth. Just ugly self designed clothes, fake friends and that longing for a knight in shining armor.
Life is not a fairytale.
You will not easily recognise a knight in shining armor, for they left their armor in the fantasy world.
Here they look like normal guys. Could be your neighbour, or the guy in your class, the man in the library or the one at the theatre...
This is reality.
Real knights are hard to find and very few.
And those that are... are treated like dirt.
English isn't my first language, so spelling errors slip in here and there (I bet you've been mild about that, there are probably more).
I agree that from the point where the longing for a knight is mentioned, to the plot, that all goes to quick. Something has to go in between.
I've tried mentioning the knight in shining armour earlier, but that didn't feel good. Maybe I should just hint about it, and not yet elaborate, to get back at it at the point where it's now first brought up.
The story isn't only about knights in shining armour though, it's mainly about mistreating ppl out of arrogance. I think that plot is clear. And do we have to realise a plot from miles away? I like a twist in a story. But I admit this twist in it's current form is too big.
This is just something I wrote out of the blue, in one go, without much correction afterwards.
It still needs work.
If you need help with the story or going through with some who speaks English as a first language just mail me, I'd be glad to help.
I don't have time now, but I'll get to it later this month (hopefully).