[Death To the Living]: 312 (Top Index)

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Death To the Living

Created:

2006-03-30 14:22:17

Content:

[Death To the Living]: 312.Sacred Secret

[Death To the Living]: 312.The Hurt Within

Keywords:

Style:

poetry

License:

Public Domain

When our friends split up
You two grew close
Away from me you fled.

I’m scared I’ll loose you
To her seduction
In her time of need.

I know I sound silly
For talking this way
But you complete my heart and soul
And I don’t want to loose you.

You are my one true love
Through night and day
Forever with you I want to stay.

2006-11-05 Mister Saint: Hm... critique wise, I only see one spelling error (loose/lose you). You might consider moving this to its own page, since this is supposed to be the index page of your work. That way it could have its own title.

I'm no expert on poetry. But while this is competent, meaningful work I don't see any imagery or poetic devices at work. This isn't saying that it's bad at all, but could be refitted with all the neat subtleties and word tricks that make poetry so much fun to read.

Have you ever tried writing in a particular poetic style?

2006-11-26 Death To the Living: Well thankyou....fer the helpful hints...i should try them.....no i haven't tryed any particular poetic style...just kinda did what seemed needed at the time...