[Annie]: 415.Miscellaneous.WFL.August Part 3

Suicide Expression
by Annie T.
For the Writing For the Love of It contest
399 words

Honestly, I’m horrified. I think up all kinds of stories for why people might kill themselves. Maybe they were raped or they were being threatened. They just had no option but to succumb to their own fear; better to die quickly by your own hands than to let someone else torture you.
After I sit and contemplate all the horrible things that might have caused them to kill themselves, I begin to contemplate what they did, specifically. I wonder how anyone can have the guts to jump off a ledge onto a highway where tons of speeding cars are, or immerse themselves in flames, or cut their wrists so deep that it bleeds enough to kill them. None of these methods are quick, let alone painless. I always thought the point was to get out of this life as quickly as possible, not to perform self-torture. However, in today’s world it seems that teenagers especially are only looking for a few things: attention (and I mean this in the least trite or sarcastic way, attention is sought after because it is needed, not because these kids are selfish), to be cool, a sense of self, something to do, something to live for. Teenagers have lost their purpose. It may be true that mostly senior citizens kill themselves, but I’m sure teenagers dabble in “the art of suicidal tendencies” more than senior citizens do. There are more deaths for senior citizens, more attempts for teenagers. For senior citizens suicide is serious, but teenagers don’t understand what they’re doing. Don’t get me wrong, it’s serious for a teenager when they put a burning lighter to their wrist and wait for it to leave a print. It’s serious when they use the bread knife to cut their wrist, and whatever other parts of their body they want to mutilate. But their reasoning isn’t like senior citizens’ reasoning, I’m guessing. I know what some of the reasons are for teenagers, because I was suicidal and many of my friends were suicidal (weren’t most of yours too?). Of course I don’t know the reasons for senior citizen suicide.
I guess all I can say is that it’s confusing, painful, filled with depression, and common. I thought I was unique, my friends thought they were unique, but we were all really alike. I don’t cry when I think about it because I’ve been through it.