[Child of God]: 416.Essays.Critique of Styron's "Darkness Visible"

William Styron’s memoir puts words to an indescribable event that some are unfortunate enough to have to experience. Darkness Visible brings home the seriousness of depression, forcing it’s readers to recognize that it is, indeed, a mental illness, a disease, and one which needs to be recognized in the public eye as such. The main goal of this memoir appears to be both an attempt to promote public understanding of the depths of the disease, as well as to reach out to those experiencing it to give them words to articulate what they are feeling.

"[I]f the pain were readily describable most of the countless sufferers from this ancient affliction would have been able to confidently depict…some of the actual dimensions of their torment, and perhaps elicit a comprehension that has been generally lacking; such incomprehension has usually been due not to a failure of sympathy but to the basic inability of healthy people to imagine a form of torment so alien to everyday experience." (Styron, 1992, p.17)

Most of the memoir attempts to describe the indescribable, to put into words what can only be felt at the deepest level of the soul.

Perhaps that is precisely the reason why it is indescribable; because the soul is indescribable. One can only give metaphors, similes and approximations when talking about the soul and so it is no wonder that a disease which stems from the soul cannot be given justification in words. Each soul is unique to the individual, and as such, each experience of depression is unique. Although Styron very rarely mentions the soul in his work, this concept is implied throughout his work every time he mentions how individualized the experience is.   

His despair when speaking of public conception of those who seek help through hospitals also ring strong, despite it being almost twenty years since publication. There is still a great stigma attached to those who seek help for mental illnesses, forever labeling them. Society looks down upon those who admit to having mental problems, deeming it to be in the realm of taboo, something which is not to be spoken of. Many doctors, including both Styrons and my own, attempt to dissuade patients from going to hospitals to seek help “owing to the stigma [one] might suffer” (Styron, 1992, p.68). It is one of the reasons I have never sought professional help for my depression, though I have lived with it for going on 12 years now, that being because both my doctor and my parents don’t want me to have to live with the label that would be given. It is almost as though mental illness, especially one as common as depression, is taboo specifically because there is no “quick fix” for it. Because there is no quick fix for it, because it is not universal in the way it affects people, like cancer might be, then it must because you aren’t strong enough to have mastered your own mind and emotions. It is the patients fault for not being able to handle it, for breaking under the pressure, and because it is the patients fault, it is something to be ashamed of and hidden. “The sufferer…is often, through denial on the part of others, unjustly made to appear a wrongdoer” (Styron, 1992, p.30).

I can’t help but wonder if this is because of society’s dualistic attitude in separating the spiritual and the physical (many thanks for that, Mr. Kant). Anything that can be explained empirically and rationally is something which is openly talked about and discussed. However, once the topic becomes more metaphysical, it becomes taboo, fit for only personal contemplation or private discussion with a very few. Perhaps that is why depression is misunderstood; because it stems from a metaphysical aspect, the soul, which is fit only for private discussion. Experts and the general public attempt to tell the sufferers that our condition is due either to an event from our past (immediate or past) that we are too weak to move past, or due to biological problems in our brain. Those that suffer from the disease want to believe this desperately, but at the same time, know deep down that, though these may be part of the problem, it is not the true cause. Where it stems from is somewhere we are afraid to admit, because it is at the core of our being. At the same time though, we can’t deny it; it is because something has happened to our soul, whether due to events, past or present, lifestyle, a combination of the two or something more.

      “There is but one truly serious philosophical problem, and that is suicide. Judging whether life is or is not worth living amounts to answering the fundamental question of philosophy” (Styron, 1992, p. 23). As both a student of philosophy and psychology, I found this notion extremely interesting, and found myself wrestling with the question on both levels. However, as a depressant, I found that this quote from The Myth of Sisyphus made perfect sense. Depression is the manifestation of the struggle to answer this question. Even stronger than this quote was Dante’s; “In the middle of the journey of our life I found myself in a dark wood, For I had lost the right path” (Styron, 1992, p. 83). In truth, I cried when I came to this, for it is a vision I often see when the disorder overwhelms me. While lying on my bed, paralyzed, unable to do anything but stare at the ceiling and feel the void of despair growing within me, I find myself in the middle of a dark woods, alone and off the path I should be taking. It is so dark that, despite my constant efforts to find the path, I can’t. Instead, I wander further and further from it, until I am finally so lost I no longer want to look anymore. Overwhelmed by the darkness, I can only sit down in the middle of it for fear of getting lost even further. Many people whom I personally know, and who suffer from the disease, report very similar, if not exactly the same visions. And it isn’t until, in the midst of one of these visions, an unseen hand in the darkness takes our own and begins leading us, that we are able to resume search. Many times when I attempt to help friends and family through serious bouts of depression, this is the ladder needed to begin the ascent out of the pit they have fallen into. Until they feel that hand, no amount of medication or optimism from others helps. It is my belief that the therapist, friend or family member should not attempt to be that hand, because then the patient learns nothing but dependence. Rather, they should be helping that person to find the hand to lead him, that way he can learn to search for it on his own should he ever have a relapse. The sufferer is able to find the strength he needs, rather than relying on the strength of another human being.

      Suicide occurs when all hope for that hand is lost. The person has waited so long for that hand to guide them out of the darkness, soon they forget what the light is. For Styron, his hand came in the form of music, a song that evoked memories and made him remember why life is worth living.

"All this I realized was more than I could ever abandon, even as what I had set out so deliberately to do was more than I could inflict on those memories, and up on those, so close to me, which whom the memories were bound. And just as powerfully I realized I could not commit this desecration on myself." (Styron, 1992, p. 67)

Those memories gave him the strength needed to cry out for that hand. Both times I attempted suicide, and the times when my friends attempted suicide, it was because we could no longer stand the darkness. It was too much for us to bear and the hand had yet to find us. It wasn’t from lack of trying by those around us, but none of those hands had been able to penetrate the wooden depths we had wandered into, and we no longer had the strength to make the cry Styron had. To make matters worse, those who do survive their attempt are forever branded by it, while at the same time, made to forget that it ever happened. “[T]he stigma of self-inflicted death is fro some people a hateful blot that demands erasure at all costs” (Styron, 1992, p.37). To this day, my parents have forbidden me to discuss my suicide attempts with anyone, including themselves. It is something that must never be spoken of again; a shameful lapse in strength which must never be brought to light for others to see, nor which can ever be forgotten. Many I know encounter the same reaction from loved ones; they are forever branded by it, but never permitted to speak about it. Styron’s list of famous artists who have fallen victim to this disease (Styron, 1992, pp. 29-36) shows that even the famous and powerful are not exempt from this branding.

In his attempt to hit the core of the disease, Styron does so in such a way that he contradicts his own belief; “I shall never learn what ‘caused’ my depression, as no one will ever learn about their own. To be able to do so will likely forever prove to be an impossibility” (Styron, 1992, p. 38). This book is about so much more than describing a mental illness; it describes the human condition. Alone, worthless, helpless, hopeless, dreamless, unworthy, exhausted, anguish, despair, “condemned and abandoned by man and God” (Styron, 1992, 21); all of the none-biological symptoms (eg. Sleep disruption, physical pain, headaches, etc.,) are what makes up the human condition. I dare say that depression is both an accumulation and a direct, personal experience of the human condition, as well as a personal taste of hell.

The bible describes Hell as a place without God. In depressions dark woods, we have strayed so far from the path that even God can’t find us. In the depths of depression, even God has abandoned us, or so it seems to our soul. Even for those who don’t acknowledge God with their minds and hearts, their soul still yearns for it, for it can feel Him in the rest of everyday life. In our depressive wanderings though, even the soul feels as though it has wandered too far from God. It can no longer feel Him anywhere. It is at that point, all hope for the hand to guide us is lost. We are walking through the valley of the shadow of death, but God is not there walking with us like He promised. For the theist and the atheist alike, it is this realization that seems to crush the soul. Those of us who have experienced this depth of depression know what it is to experience the human condition in full force. It is as though we are experiencing the ails of every other human being at the exact same moment and it’s overwhelming. We are touching the very core of our humanity, but most don’t realize it. Perhaps that is why they are scared; because they don’t realize it’s their basic humanity. Their soul recognizes this is the human condition, but their mind is unable to handle it. Such a touch is too much for a human being to bear alone.

      After reading Styron’s book, coupled with my own experiences with depression, I am even more convinced that the medical community is far from a “cure”, because they are far from the cause. I’m not fully convinced there is a “cure” for this “disease.” Depression is experiencing humanity’s shadow to in all its deepest, ugliest reality. This shadow will be present for as long as man exists. As such, depression will remain an unfortunate reality until the medical field can develop a cure for the human condition.



References

Styron, William (1992) Darkness Visible: A Memoir of Madness. New York: Vintage