[seemoreglass48]: 636.Poetry.Breaking

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Uploaded by:
Created:
2007-02-01 22:56:50
 
Keywords:
breaking, ladybug, luck, summer
Style:
poetry
License:
Public Domain
Written for Creative Writing. I can't remember which prompt this was...but it's been edited like crazy, although, I always love a good mauling of my poetry, so by all means, rip away.


Black dress shoes crunch
on broken sidewalk cracks,
leaving gravel displaced
and trembling, the old squares
twisting with age-tortured
tree roots underneath.

The summer sign of luck,
a red lady bug, scurries
across the pavement,
a scorched survivor relying
on strength and scar tissue.

Without notice the red bleeds
into the black rubber sole
of your shoe. You don’t feel the breaking
of the spotted back as the red crumpled
shell is ground into
the unfeeling insulation.

2007-02-02 Mister Saint: Hmm... I wish I knew which prompt this was for! Lots of those vaunted 'concrete images' here... this is where I usually run into problems with other poetry people, though. In my eyes, poetry has to be about something world-altering, which is generally not the consensus. ^^ Head in the clouds, and all. Although I can definitely appreciate the technique here, personal bias kinda hurts it for me where it wouldn't for someone else.


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