[aVorbiss]: 642.Random Scribblings of a Past Present. ?

{wanted to write, but couldn't think of anywhere else to put this}

   I don't know what it is I really need anymore. There are ideas of what I need such as a steady, decent paying job that can work around my college schedule, which is much harder than I thought it would be. I've applied to far too many jobs, but none have turned out any positive results or none have been able to work around my college schedule. My savings has basically been depleted in various different expenses and with no steady income, I'll be completely broke before I know it.
   I've had some bad luck in the relationship department I guess, I don't know. I don't even know if anyone even looks at this anymore for that matter. I'd like people to, that'd be nice. Obviously, I'm not going to entirely or directly spill my mind's content onto this internet page, as some things just shouldn't be known or said. Well, I have no idea why I'm writing this. I wonder if there are any other sites like writersco, that'd be really nice. Whomever may be reading this, if they could share this information with me, that'd be great!
   College is much easier than I thought it'd be and anyone who tells anyone else differently is completely lying. Sleep is eluding me right now, and I've been getting gradually more ill, but it seems to have been going away. I grow increasingly bored of routines and even more bored of having nothing to occupy myself with, preferably a job. I am also highly determined to move out soon, hopefully I'll be able to get a job that'll allow me to do so. I have so many writing projects in mind, a very few started, and fewer still to be ever completed. What is it that's missing? Free time? Motivation? The right environment? I think it may be all three of these factors...
   Man, I really need some new glasses. Note-to-self: Get a god damned job! I feel like such a loser and it throws me into a routine depression, another routine I grow tired of. I don't think people really get it or understand, but of course anyone in any state of depression, regardless of its reason, feels that way about people not understanding. I should probably be getting to bed, but I have this strange urge to write. I wonder if the package I ordered will get here soon. I hope I get a job. I hope a lot of things, and they rarely ever come true, at least not anymore. I don't understand, I used to be so content with where I was and was able to will my way, coupled with hard work, toward what I wanted and grabbed it, victoriously.
   I wish I were more organized with my writing too! I wish a lot of things...Anyway, that's all I want to write about this. Time to look for something else to write about!