[aVorbiss]: 642.Winter Poetry 2007-08.Pretend

(written October 19th)

(Pretend)

Was it the answer?
What made me behave so?
Is it the misery only I maintain?
It spreads like a cancer,
Inside my brain.
It spreads like a virus,
Inside my veins.

I remember that day, I felt so alive.
The way that I looked into you eyes,
Just before, right before I kissed you.
Who'd have known?
Who'd have known the arrow had missed you?

Oh, is it the shame?
The shame I have to live with?
Was it the color of my heart
That tore us apart?
What am I saying?
There was nothing,
Nothing to ever tear apart.

And so I pretend that I can mend
My own heart with empty chances.
I pretend that you're still that friend,
The one I could have married.
But, all this in vain, I still carry the pain,
And so I pretend, I pretend I'm okay.

I see it everywhere, your name,
A reminder of what never became.