[Mister Saint]: 79.Mature.An Essay on Tracie

This is not for all readers. It contains themes of sexual nature and may not be socially acceptable for you. If you're offended, I'm sorry. Please refer to my secretary.

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Where to start? I suppose I should begin by explaining what is the purpose of this essay. Here, I will discuss a woman named Tracie. If you're reading this, you know her well but will probably never meet her. Tracie only exists inside of me.

I am transgendered. I was born male, but possess a number of feminine traits that clash with the physical stature of a man... in short terms, I am a woman living in a man's body. I feel that I do not belong in this muscular, broad-shouldered form, that I am wearing a mask over my real face; however, as I am unable to afford (and unwilling to attempt) gender reassignment therapy, I've been forced to simply try to live the best I can, the way I am.

As such, my female side - though rich and unique from the male - can only exist inside me. My name is Travis Martin Reynolds. Her name is Tracie Marlena Saint. Hence using TM instead of my given name whenever I can, and using the last name Saint. Also, this is why I use the screen name Mister Saint.

Tracie is about 5'5'', claims to be about 133 lbs., (about 160cm and 60kg) but she's a little bit shy about her size and is probably a little bit heavier. Her hair was dark brown, but she always wanted to be a blonde and has changed her hair to a burnished gold. She has a headband she likes to wear, and is fond of a modest black dress with a knee-length skirt, a white-chain belt, and black open-toed shoes. She likes pale violet lipstick and dark eyeliner, but avoids most makeup. She's fond of berets and cares nothing for how attractive her undergarments are as long as they are comfortable. For some reason, though, she likes nylon socks.

Tracie's personality is much different from Travis's. Allow me to list a few things.


Tracie and Travis both love mixed martial arts.
Tracie's favorite movie is The Little Mermaid.
Travis's favorite movie is Play it to the Bone.
Tracie's favorite color is sapphire.
Travis's is purple.
Tracie is submissive. Travis is not.
Tracie is bisexual. Travis is not.
Travis's dream home has a dormitory-shower set-up and is made of brick and steel.
Tracie's dream home is a quaint wooden house with a swing on the from porch.
Travis's favorite song is "Fiddler on the Green" by Demons and Wizards.
Tracie's favorite song is "Can't Stop" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Travis and Tracie both love cats.
Tracie enjoys romantic comedies more than anything.
Travis enjoys plain old comedies and action movies.
Tracie loves to be kissed, and be shoved against walls to be kissed.
Travis loves kisses in general.
Tracie is interested in threesomes, with men, or a man and a woman.
Travis is not interested in threesomes.


That's good examples, I think. Tracie's influence is more than apparent in much of my writing, too... she was directly responsible for the proliferation of female characters as main characters in my stories.

Tracie is a part of who I am, and always will be. Sometimes we clash over things, and when we do, Travis usually ends up in a pretty unforgiving mood. However, Tracie is also the more outright loving of the two of us... she'll forgive almost on request. I love her, and she loves me. Even if it is off-putting that I know exactly what kind of man interests her, down to the most sordid detail.