[Metal Tsubasa]: 95.The Story of Toen Wraith.A Photograph of you and I

In the middle of the night Toen sat out in the cool night air. He had given up on cigarettes so long ago, but he was suddenly feeling the need for one and wished that Heaven had a store to buy some from. Even so, he figured that the craving was just a longing for the past because he figured that if he was given even one he would turn it away after simply looking at it. However, there were other, more important, things on his mind. As he slowly stood from his place against a tall flowering tree, his fingers found their way into a small pocket inside his robes, where a small photograph sat, crumpled from being shoved into pockets and then pulled out again. At this point it took some imagination to see what was in the picture, but as Toen looked longingly into the image, he could see clearly what it had once been. It had been one of many that Toen usually carried with him, but this was the only one that seemed to follow him into his night robes.
The picture was full of happiness, being that it was of Toen and Mika at their wedding. Everything about that day had turned out so beautifully, but Toen mostly remembered that one moment as Mika was escorted towards him between the rows of council members and friends. Her dress had been so beautiful, like something Toen would have only imagined in his dreams. Even with the fact that Mika wore white dresses normally, this was different, it was special. There was a gentle scooping neckline and the train of the gown lead out from a delicate bustle, all decorated with gently embroidered flower patters that seemed to dance about the fabric as the goddess moved. Toen had been so nervous, and Fairoh would tell of how his best friend threw up several times before the actual gathering, but Toen would always deny it. But the picture captured the best moment of that day, at least Toen thought.
The last sun was setting on the horizon and torches were being lit all throughout the meeting place. Toen’s only wish for the wedding was to have it as close to a human wedding as possible, being that his parents wedding was in a human shrine with a priest, and Mika readily agreed. Little did she know however, that Toen had a sneaky plan of his own. So as Mika awaited Toen’s ‘I do’, she was surprised by him pulling her into his arms for their first kiss as husband and wife, swiftly after raising a sign that said ‘I do!’ on it in big red letters. The god in charge of the ceremony had been in on it and snapped a quick photo at just the right time. Everyone cheered and Mika had a beautifully surprised look on her face, something that Toen treasured every time he looked at the picture. Before everything with Sozosha, it made him smile, but looking at it now all he wanted to do was cry. Mika had become more and more beautiful over the years and Toen fell deeper and deeper in love with his beautiful wife. From the first time he had seen her at the Institute Toen knew that she was the one he would spend eternity with, but he had never known his forever would end so suddenly. Thinking back to that day Toen dropped to the ground, his insides throbbing with pain and tears running down his face as he bit his lip tightly.
“Sickness will never bring us sorrow,” Toen could remember saying as he held Mika’s hands in his own, watching her happy tears roll down her face while he continued his vows, “and death will never part us. This love, these two lives we have made one, will never end, for our time is endless.”
How ignorant he had been then, but how was he to know what would become of him, years in the future? Even though it pained him internally to cry, Toen couldn’t control the sobs as he tightened his fist around the photo. “Endless?” he muttered to himself under all the sobs. “You must have been laughing.”
Toen could imagine the way Sozosha would have been looking at him when he had said that. She had to have known what she would do to him later on in his life. He could see her suppressing the laughter inside as she tried her best to look elated with the fact that Toen had chosen to settle down.
In his sorrow, Toen muttered his vows between the sobs. “Sickness will never bring us sorrow,” he wept, “and death will never part us. This love, these two lives we have made one, will never end, for our time is… our time is…” the shadow god could hardly find it in him to mutter that one word, it burned as he brought it up his throat and he almost choked on it as he finally whispered, “endless… our time is endless.”
Foot steps could then be heard, and Toen knew them well. Quickly he brought himself up from the ground, trying to wipe his face in a hurry, hopping that she wouldn’t notice he was crying, when he was quite sure that she had seen most of his childish display. He sharply glanced over his shoulder as he stood, and caught a glimpse of Mika’s long, white night gown and he almost couldn’t contain the tears. It may have looked nothing like the dress she wore that day, and she wore more white than Toen had ever owned in his entire life, but just looking at that after thinking back to their wedding day, anything white that she wore reminded him of it.
“Toen?” Mika questioned, and Toen could hear the anxious urgency in her voice. “Toen what’s wrong?”
The shadow god went to turn, and then realized the picture that had once been in his hand was now on the ground in a crumpled mess. He leaned over quickly and picked it up, shoving it into his robes again. She didn’t see it… he told himself. Please tell me she didn’t see it.
“What was that?”
She had.
Toen turned to his wife and put on the best fake smile he possibly could before going in to embrace her. “It’s nothing,” he lied as he tightened his arms around her small frame. “What are you doing out here in the middle of the night?”
“I could hear you outside Toen. I could hear you crying and I got worried. You’ve been acting so strange these past few weeks and just can’t help but wonder what’s going on. If it’s anything serious, you’ll tell me, right?”
He wanted to, he wanted to so badly, but Sozosha wouldn’t allow it. In his frustration, Toen pulled Mika into his chest tighter, his tears trying hard to flow out. “My love,” he said gently, though there was a slight crack in his voice, “my love, of course I would. It’s nothing serious though,” clearly a lie on his part, but he tried his best to validate it, to make himself believe it. “Please my dearest, please go back to bed.”
Mika wasn’t as naïve as all of that. She had lived at Toen’s side for hundreds of years, evidently she would be able to tell a lie when he said it. She hugged her husband tightly, burying her face in his chest, which hurt him slightly, but he wouldn’t tell her that. “Toen you have me so worried,” she began to cry, clutching to her husbands robes. “You haven’t slept through the night in so long and when you are asleep you cry horrible, horrible things. Please Toen! Please tell me!”
The tears wouldn’t stop. He hated holding things from her, but for once, he didn’t have a choice. All he could do was hold his wife tightly to him and let her cry as he cried. He had tried so many times to find ways around Sozosha’s curse, but nothing ever worked and he had finally given up. Hearing his beautiful wife cry… that was worse than any pain he had to endure. He could feel his lips parting to speak, perhaps he could say something quickly and take the after effects as they came, but Sozosha was too smart for that, and her curse too strong. Pain shot through every bone in his body and Toen doubled over, pulling Mika closer into him as his insides convulsed. There was no possible way to even get a few words out about it, Sozosha wouldn’t let him, and it tore the shadow god apart. The tears flowed down his face in torrents and the only pain he felt was the pain of knowing that one day he would leave Mika forever and she would never know why.
“M-Mika,” Toen chocked out finally, the pain subsiding slightly, “do you remember… the day we were married?”
An odd question, but one that seemed to soothe Mika and die down her tears. She snuggled up against Toen’s chest again as she said, “Of course, how could I possibly forget. It was so beautiful and you looked so handsome. Everything was so perfect and you scared me so horribly when you jumped in and kissed me. I had never expected that.”