[Peregrine]'s blog

1440  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2007-03-12
Written: (6466 days ago)

If Heaven and Hell decide
that they both are satisfied--
Illuminate the 'no's on their vacancy signs!
If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks,
I'll follow you into the dark.
-DCfC



I've been using chamomile to try to combat the hypertrophic scarring on my nose piercing--that means sitting with a hot teabag pressed against my nose for 15 minutes, three times a day.
It's sort of funny watching, but if I ever smell chamomile again, it'll be too soon.

990  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-07-15
Written: (6707 days ago)

New notebooks!
I bought a supply of wonderfully new notebooks to design! So I'm quite pleased about that. My face looks a great deal like this:  :D
So that's just fine.

Also: today was lovely. A couple of my friends and I drove out to the Resevoir to "picnic." By "picnic," I do mean, "eat graham crackers and drink orange soda, and lay about chilling and enjoying the beautiful weather, perfect blue sky, lake, and each others' company."
Which we did.
I swear, there couldn't have been a cloud in the sky! And all the green, growing things were shining in the sunlight, and the shade was quiet and thoughtful... oh yes.
There was a lot of laughter.
So that's just fine, too.
Yup.

983  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-07-14
Written: (6708 days ago)

You know, eating straight margarita salt isn't as much of a good idea as you'd think.
...seriously, guys, I don't advise it.
Seriously.

975  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-07-08
Written: (6711 days ago)

Went to the midnight showing of the new Pirates of the Carribean movie! It was fun--going to the midnight showing, I mean.
As for the movie... well, I wasn't too impressed. At all. It seemed like a parody of everything that made the original one unique. Even the "action" parts of the film just kinda dissolved into slapstick lunacy.

A trustworthy review of it can be found here:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5542014&ft=1&f=2
--which I highly reccomend listening to. *nod*


...Jack Sparrow still rocks. <3

971  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-07-04
Written: (6713 days ago)

I feel very much like “Santa Monica” by Everclear, right now, the chorus of which goes as follows:

“We could live beside the ocean
Leave them all behind.
Swim out past the breakers
And watch the world die.”


That is a very good song.
So anyway, I’ve been feeling low as of late. Which is okay: everyone is entitled to feel low from time to thyme, (sometimes even more frequent than that, depending on their situation.) 
So that’s okay.
But I’ve found a very fun game that cheers me up quite a bit. I think I shall call it The Movie Game, because that name seems appropriate. All I do is imagine what a movie of my life would be like. As egomaniacal as it seems, it’s actually quite fun! I would strongly suggest it for anyone feeling down; it really helps put things in perspective. Or rather, that things can be put into any perspective you want, which is oh-so-true. To an extent.

* * *

I would like to take this quick opportunity to say that the weather today is so beautiful that not enjoying it is a crime actually punishable by law. The sunlight is a warm glow, the sky is a lovely blue, the green things are growing, flowers smiling, and the air has this beautiful, beautiful, peaceful taste.
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
* * *

Anyway, I think that I shall describe the movie I ended up with, because (apparently) this is my blog-ish and I am allowed to do so. 
It would be a film about a seventeen-year-old girl—a prolific writer—living in **** ****, where the streetlights shine brazenly, where people play instruments on street corners, with the heavy, fragrant smells of the street vendors’ food, among independent businesses and fascinating young people with interesting things to say. Sometimes.
She has this black-and-white stripy scarf that she frequently wears.
She is friendly enough and laughs a lot, though she has the tendency to be quiet. She is overly sensitive and stubborn. She does her own thing, but because it’s inoffensive she really doesn’t get any press coverage. Oh well.
That would be me.
And, for now, I work in a bike shop where things are always interesting. We ride the adult trikes around, between the racks of clothing. We periodically take the tandems and ride to get ice cream. Rubber band wars are a common phenomenon. 
The air compressor in the basement is decorated as an evil robot. His name is Karl.
And I’m surrounded by wonderfully interesting, brilliant people—wild characters! each with their own excellent talents. They keep things worth while. 
Take, for example, my eccentric sister: with her anachronism, extreme fashion, propping all the shelves in her room at a forty-five degree angle, writing “Are you hip?” on all the doorframes, hanging out in cemeteries, wrapping her midriff in ductape… on and on.
And this is the cool part: in keeping with the existence I live, the movie will jump around quite a bit. Seemingly random characters will suddenly appear and disappear, scenes will sporadically arise, setting will suddenly change… here is an example: I will get home from work, park my car, go inside my house and find myself in a space station set to self-destruct in six hours, as a technician in a rescue crew. 
Or someone will just randomly appear and I will have a conversation with them—possibly about something relevant, possibly not. And if something reminds me of some memory, or something from long ago, the camera will cut to it. And if something in the memory reminds me of something from a dream, or a story, or something, the camera will cut to it. 
And if I’m thinking about the ocean, the camera (and myself) will cut to the ocean.
And if I’m thinking about fantasy-places, the camera (and myself) will cut there.
Can you see the pattern? It will be quite wild, but that is how being me feels like: everywhere all at once, half in my head, partially a memory, partially a dream, partial reality.
Frequently, the camera will show me writing. Just to make a point, I guess. *shrug*
There would be no linear plot, I think, given 1) the sporadic nature of everything and 2) the structure will knot allow it. Things would just get too cluttered if there were, and I won’t have that in my movie.
So, though I haven’t changed reality in any way, I think it seems very film-like at this point, don’t you? And I have the ending scene worked out perfectly!
It would go like this: it’s late in the afternoon, around that time when the sunlight begins to feel heavy and lazy, tinted with wine and honey, though the sky is a lovely shade of blue, piercing and serene. And I silently come out of my house, walk down to my stationwagon, get inside, and drive away. 
As I drive, I roll down the window and turn up the radio. I’m listening to public radio, because that is the best, and they’re playing… oh, I don’t know. Something good. Something lovely and sincere.
And anyway, I drive for a while, eventually ending up on some older, beaten highway. There is prairie all around, sloping hills, clusters of dark, lush trees. By the side of the road, fragrant wildflowers and long grasses are absently waving in the wind. There is a particularly large patch of flax nearby.
I pull my car over to the side of the road, onto the shoulder, and park it. I turn everything off, get out, and climb up on top of it. There I shall sit, for some time, watching the sun sink lower and over in that flawless sky.
“I can’t believe you actually sitting out here, all by yourself.”
That’s a male voice; I glance over my shoulder, at the guy suddenly sitting by me. He’s one of my characters, Luce, with blond hair and a smirky voice. But he’s sitting there by me, and I say, “Yeah… I don’t know.”
“Too bad.”
“I s’ppose so. Anyway, what are youdoing out here?”
And he’ll laugh, “Ahahah…. yeah… y’know, I don’t really know.”
Then I’ll smile and say, “That’s redundant,” and then my anti-muse, Azkaban—who is a small sillohete of a dragon—will flutter past and land on my shoulder. I’ll look down at him, and he’ll be shifting around and all fidgety in that way he is.
That will just be the beginning of it, because more and more would just keep coming, until the road is packed with angels and my characters, and faces—everyone I’ve ever known! Demons and stories and maidens and beasts and friends and knights and magicians and thieves and these strange, luminous ghosts about knee high that wander around humming to themselves and staring at you with wide eyes. And the sky would come to life with large, chunky clouds catching the light and drifting across the sky in magnificent vapor dreams and legends! And the musicians are playing, and everyone is moving and talking and laughing and crying and singing and loving and hating and all
those good
things
that happen
when
you’re alive.

And Luce would lean over to me and shout, “It’s getting kinda crowded out here, huh?”
Then all of the sudden—out of nowhere!—everyone/thing would disappear, and it would all be quiet (except the wind in the long grass and the chatter of birds’ song) and I would be left completely alone. All By Myself. And I would answer, “Yeah… how ‘bout that.”
Then there would be silence—just silence, as I sit up there watching the honeyed blue of the evening sky. It would last for a while, before the credit song would begin to play: “I’m Still Here,” by Kula Shaker.

“I was sure I heard you singing, while my head was broken up.
While my world, in flames, was rearranged. Oh, I!
I’m still here.

In a blazing forest fire.
In a web of my own desires.
In a place that we are destined to return.

On an ocean I can’t fathom.
In a truth I can’t unravel. Oh, I!
I’m still here.
Oh I! I’m still here.
I’m still here.”


—because, you see, that’s the ending that makes me smile the most.
960  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-06-29
Written: (6723 days ago)

Well.
The time is 10:52 PM.
I've spent the evening editing m'novel--which is causing me more trouble than it's worth--taking a quick break around 9:00 for dinner.
It was chicken, grilled in onions, garlic & olive oil, on a bed of orzo and brocolli with feta. It was quite good, actually, but that's somewhat beside the point.
So, I've been editing all evening and I managed to finish the chunk I wanted to finish. Which is good!
I finished, and flopped back on my floor to stare thoughtfully at the pattern of light and texture across my ceiling. (Does anyone ever bother looking up, anymore? I don't, unless I'm outside.)
Anyway, then I turned over and caught sight of a book I liked, so I started reading it. Pure instict, of course. ^^ And as I'm reading it, I get thirsty so I go out to the kitchen for some good, old-fashioned tapwater. But! as I'm walking to the kitchen, I catch sight of the bathroom.
Filthy! --which HAD to change.
So, the thyme is 10:52 PM and what-do-you-know, I just cleaned the bathroom.
?
Okay, sure. At least it was productive! And let's not forget what really matters here, which is:

http://www.marriedtothesea.com/051506/totally-cool.gif

(A small, black spider just strolled across my computer screen.)

956  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-06-26
Written: (6726 days ago)

I recieved a letter today, in the mail, and I don't understand what he wants from me.
I can't understand that he wants anything to begin with, but what it all comes down to is that
I feel quite sad,
today,
though the clouds are massive, acrylic shapes breaking up like ice over the horizon, playing out these epic battles across the sky.
They are quite beautiful, and the light is shining through my window and tracing bright shapes and colors on the hardwood of the floor and the corner of my bed.
So that's just fine, anyway.

941  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-06-17
Written: (6735 days ago)

Two things: good food, and good company.
Do you know that feeling? Oh man, it's one of the best! 
It's such an incredibly human sensation! Downright wonderful.
This reminds me of the time I went to dinner in this old mansion--built sometime in the 1920s--while I was in St. Louis. It was surreal, sitting at one of those long, mahagony tables, with a lace tablecloth and four different forks, beneath old-fashioned chandiliers. Eating good food, and talking and laughing with people I hardly knew like we'd all known each other for years... while all the while, the mansion shifted with the cool weather outside and the windows grew dark with the sunset.
The full meal took about three hours, and it was wonderful. 
Yes, I'm telling you: good food and good company.
That is living!

938  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-06-14
Written: (6738 days ago)

What an image I'd cast!
in a boat, moving fast
on the currents of water
           bound for the sea.

759  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-03-29
Written: (6815 days ago)

So, I woke up this morning and lay in bed for a while before getting up and picking some clothes up off the floor. Then I went to take a shower; so, I'm standing in the shower, at 6 AM, and all of the sudden I realized that I really, really, REALLY wanted to write a love letter. To anyone, really, b'cuz I'm pretty much feeling like I love everybody.
So I wrote love letters to all m'friends.
It was grand.
Finis.

755  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-03-28
Written: (6816 days ago)

God, it feels good to be alive today.

751  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-03-27
Written: (6817 days ago)

Name: Peregrine
Age: 16
Eyes: Brown
Favorite: Writing.
Others: Fine Arts, Music, Religions.
Favorite Music Genre: Folk, jazz.
Favorite Band: Phish. And the Goo Goo Dolls.
Favorite Book: Lord of the Rings. The Little Prince.
Favorite Manga: Diabolo.
Favorite Food: Mushrooms.
Favorite Drink: (Pink)Lemonade.
Favorite Color: Blue.
Favorite Animal: Cats. Falcons.
Favorite Flower: Chickery.
Favorite Cookie: Oatmeal with raisins.
Favorite Physical Activity: Rollerblading. Swinging.
Favorite Taste: Honey.
Favorite Scent: Prairie.
Favorite Time of Day: Morning.
Favorite Instrument: Accoustic guitar.
Favorite Image: The sky.
Favorite Time of Year: Late summer.
Favorite Sound: Walking down a gravel road alone.
Favorite Sensation: Watching snow fall late at night.
Favorite Action: Laughing.


Strongest Trait: Compassion.
Strongest Fault: No backbone.
Strongest Belief: Peace. Joy. Faith.
Strongest Reality: Hate. Pain.


The Begining: Taking a road with friends, some pleasant morning.
The End: Wandering off, over some ragged field and back into the faded sky.


Theme: We have tommorrow; we have today.

 The logged in version 


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