Your Despair

Your despair, your desire
All you dare and care about
All your tears, all you fear of
All that you can't do without
All you laugh at, all you cry for
All that you regret about
All your strength, lack of faith
Take it all, and run

Push all the way towards the edge
To a place where you can scream and no one hears
'Till you feel like it's enough
And care not how much it's tough
All you wanted then, your hopes
Do you remember?
Take all of that and use it to get better
Get to where you want to go.

All your love, all your hatred
All that knocks you off your feet
Let it burn till you learn
To not fear and not resist
All your truths that turned to lies
All the best you save for last
Everything you realize
The good, the worst and all the rest...

All the times you squeeze to life
Every time you nearly die...

Shir.

Partners For The Crime

If we were or weren't right didn't matter
We were, in their eyes, partners for the crime
Never mind if we were trying to make it better
We've done what they haven't, and that's all that counts
If we would take their path, would make no difference
We would still be walking alone
Each with his own wanting and secrets
We did as we were guided by our hearts.
For this, and so much more
I would never take this back
What we did, how we did it
This so called mistake
And that's how it went
That's about all
That's about it
I'll fall if you fall
Take this road with me
Answer when I call
For if falling is a sin
Aren't we all
partners for the crime?

Shir.

Nothing Wrong

sometimes I don't understand
why I feel guilty for what I did
and I didn't do anything bad
all I've done was holding you

and I want to say that I want to stay
and I want my way
I know where I belong
I would want to stay if I'm comfortable where I am
and I want it that way
and I did nothing wrong

sometimes I get really mad
you never get the message I want you to
and if you want me to lay by you
then all you have to do is ask
and it would be no mistake

and I want to say that I want to stay
and I want my way
I know where I belong
I would want to stay if I'm comfortable where I am
and I want it that way
and I did nothing wrong

sometimes, I don't understand...

Shir.

Queen For A Day

I'm not doing anything anymore
and I get tired sitting here in the cold
and I've seen it all before
here we go again
I'm not listening anymore
and I try to be better no more
and if it comes again
tell it to go away

I will lose my breathe
I will feel unsafe again
I will be a queen for a day
and I'll come crashing down
I'm not the only one

I gave up trying to be good
I'm not swallowing the world like i should
I don't seem to get it all correctly
and here I go insane
I'm not fighting anymore
and I'm not going anywhere
and if it comes again
tell it to go away
because here I stay

I will lose my breathe
I will feel unsafe again
I will be a queen for a day
and I'll come crashing down
I'm not the only one

and I try
and I die a little with each time
and I cry, as if I was the only one
bet some of us are having fun right now
but I don't want to know

Shir.

Official

I like to think of my self as endless
When you find me I'll usually be a bit of a mess
And I'm restless
I use to say that I don't laugh much, but when I do
I laugh truly
No matter what, I like to think I'm a special material
And it works until you make it official

You'll tag me, still I am no one you know
I'm feeling like no one before me
I'm bleeding unfamiliar blood
Mixed with pleasure and pride
I don't think i want to be found
I'm something of that kind

I do not speak unless I wasn't spoken to
I am not weak unless I say so I don't cry
Unless I said I do
I really don't laugh much but when I do
I laugh with all my heart
I'd like to think I'm a part of a miracle
It all seems good until it turns official

You'll tag me, but I am no one you know
I'm feeling like no one before me
I'm bleeding unfamiliar blood
Mixed with pleasure and pride
I don't think I want to be found
Something of that kind

Shir.

And so I have survived an entire week at work. It's hard, sometimes boring, I can't say that I'm looking forward to go back there next week, but now I have a little money, and every time I leave there, I feel very satisfied for managing to last a whole day without whining about it, and almost without wasting a minute of my time. Completed everything that I was needed to do. I'm not so happy lately and I don't know whether all of my ex- class mates feel that way, or whether it's only me, but for me, it's a drastic change, and changes aren't always comfortable and pleasant. Even when a baby tooth falls out, and the permanent tooth is starting to grow, it's not a very nice feeling, but none the less, it does not mean that it is not required.

Shir.

I Dare You

I dare you, sit down, wait
Don't fall asleep yet
Listen and you shall hear
A whistle, the beat of a heart
A wood screech, someone falling apart
A heart break, the silence itself
It's true that all seems to be safe
At day light, when all is clear
But sit still now and hear
When the light is out
The screech of a wood, the cry of a heart
The sound of something falling apart
See a shadow, a shout,
Then the laughter of the same heart
Stay awake, and see things
That can only be seen in the dark.

Shir.

Sea Sand

Look at how my feet dwell
in the sea sand
it covers them completely
and as I touch it
with my hand
It's warm from the heat of the sun
and I smile
This, at least, won't change
for a while
and it feels special
because of that
very few things don't
constantly change
very few things

I stare at my feet
dwell in this sea sand
As I think of tomorrow
trying to predict
and can't
my feet are warm from the sand
which is warm from the heat of the sun
no one can tell me what will happen, no one
but the things that will be there are the sun
and the sand
and my feet in it
and I'll land
Right here
in the sea sand.

Shir.

Why do I like the smell of grass, and hate the smell of gas? What is it that makes good smells good, and bad smells bad?
It's funny how sometimes we don't speak, or don't handle things, up until the point where they burst out all at once. As if we were stocking them in order to create as big of explosion as we can later on.
Why do I get upset, sometimes, with no real reason? Why do I write about how I like the smell of grass and dislike the smell of gas, when I want to say something else? I don't know what I want to say. Yes, I do, but... I don't want to specifically say things that I'd really like people to figure out on their own. I don't want to be so obvious, but I want people to get me. You can't enjoy both worlds.
If I'm honest, then people would say that I'm arrogant. If I'm being modest, then people would accuse me of being hypocrite. I want to say that I care not what other people may think or may not think of me, but it's not true. I do care, but I wouldn't want to fake, either, so... What do you do? How do you manipulate? I want nothing from no one, but as a matter of fact I do want something. No, I want everything. That's why I get nervous. It's like... you want so many things all at once, all at the same time, and you're almost like in a constant race to get it all, right away. You get irritated, you're always feeling slightly uncomfortable, so you move a little to the left, a little to the right, trying all kinds of angles until you find a state that is comfortable for you, and even then, when you find it, you know that it's not for long, and very soon you'll start looking for something else, different. But be honest with yourself- if you weren't so full of contrasts, and if you could enjoy and be happy in one place, in the same situation for long, wouldn't that drive you crazy just as fair? If you're a writer, I believe, you feel all those things that I just mentioned. We all want people to hear us, and to appreciate us, and to recognize that we have a tremendous talent, and we all want to be able to do something GREAT, that would make not one person recognize it, not two people, but to make something that would make the whole world go: "WOAH".
I'm restless, at times I'm moody, and at times I'm just happy, and sometimes I'm really happy, and instead of being satisfied with it, I get even more restless because of it, and can't sleep at night. And I still haven't found exactly what the right amounts of polite and honesty are, so... I still toggle between them. And it's great. You know what?... I kind of like it.Shir. And I think, heh, if I'm not mistaking... Flaws add to diamonds' value.

I need some pain killers... What do they give to horses, for instance?

Shir.

I've made up my mind. As from today, I am going to do everything right. I won't be lazy, I'll get up in time, I'll go to sleep in time, and I'll eat properly, everything. As I said, starting today. starting now.

Thank you, Travis.

Shir.

Anything can happen, anywhere. Heaven is a state of mind, not a place. And there is NOTHING that can't, in some way, be done. We've managed to fly and made it to the moon, and can humans fly? No, they cannot. There is the proof.

Shir.

Uhm, uhm... okay, study... fresh air... fresh air, study, study fresh air...
Damn, I'm going down to the beach and taking the freaking history book with me.

Shir.

A few days ago when I went to the store to buy some sodas, a guy and a girl were standing there, talking, and I listened to their conversation as I paid the bill. The girl asked him: "so how do you, as an artist..." and then I heard him answering: "I don't call myself an artist, because... all artists have something screwed up in their heads, you know... something's not right with them". At that moment I thought, wow, good thing he doesn't consider himself to be an artist, because if he would, I might couldn't help it telling him to his face that he wasn't one, and believe me, it didn't take much more for me to tell him that he wasn't worthy of the title, as it was.

Shir.