The Bridge on the "Eyes Ahead" River

I've watched this river from a far
Many times before
On the other side it always seemed brighter
Too bright, and therefore
I have always wanted to cross, my self,
Watching the lucky ones passing by
They have all crossed and reached there in peace
Why can't I?
This day, no one is passing
The bridge waits for no one but me
Almost calling me, teasing, asking:
Don't you want to be free?
I take my shoes off, remove my socks
Along with the little things that just like those rocks
Prevented me from going there
Made me stay behind before
Not today
Not anymore
Here I pass also
Here I go

Shir.

Feels Like Nothing

I kind of feel empty that way
Feels like nothing but this emptiness
Is better than the craziness
Don't longer see my self as a whole
Seems the choice is to either feel that way
Or not to feel at all

And I can't control this
And I don't want to
I jumped in the water
Thinking: what will be, will be
And what will be, will be
And it's true, and now I see
I haven't lost a thing
I simply didn't have it at all.

I wonder if I should get up now
What's the use? What's to lose?
If all is going to fall anyway
Wondering how I've made it so far
It feels bad, and it hurts
But those things happen every day

My Anyway

If no one came after me
I would likely run away
I'll scream my heart out if I want to
'cause who cares, anyway?
It wouldn't be enough
Even had the world were mine
And I'm not upset
For as a matter of fact
I'm angry all the time
And I'm doing fine.

And my world is my anyway
And it's true in my eyes, anyhow
And my words are mine to say
And I'll run away somehow
I don't care, starting now.

I would happen anyway
Things like me happen everywhere, all the time
Where are the... oh, good, now I don't have a rime
Where are the stupid words?
It's not my attitude
It's not even one of those days
And I'm not upset, it's not my mood
And some days are better
It doesn't matter
What ever

And my world is my anyway
And it's true in my eyes, anyhow
And my words are mine to say
And I'll run away somehow
I don't care, starting now.

Shir.

If we push our selves to our limits, and dare to set a foot beyond them- we often realize that they were not even there. It's a known fact that people have a lot more to them then they realize, and that it sits quietly in some dark corner, waiting to only be found in times of true necessity. It appears to me that we have even more to us than this. Think of the farthest place you can possibly get to. Now think one step beyond there. That is how far you can go.

Shir.

Crystal Clear

If you knew what I know
you would have known very well
but I know that you know
that I can't say a word
had I known how to taste a smell
then I could tell
then I could tell


But it's raining and my heart
is beating steady for the first time, finally
how come I'm not torn apart
how come I'm ready?
how come I'm staying? all I'm saying
is what isn't obvious
is crystal clear

if you could teach me
how to teach you where I stand
that would stop me from trying
to speak out what can't be said
and I'm hopeless
in what I said
and haven't said
that's where I stand
I have my thoughts
but thoughts come second
after action
and I can't say much
so I just shoot once
to each direction
and I'll hit in the end



But it's raining and my heart
is beating steady for the first time, finally
how come I'm not torn apart
how come I'm ready?
how come I'm staying? all I'm saying
is not so obvious
but it's crystal clear

כך היה תמיד

הוא מביט לפנים
ומסיט את הראש
כי את מה שראה
הוא לא יכל לראות
מגניב עוד מבט
זה עדיין שם, זה לא נעלם
-לא זה לא יכול להיות
כשהביט בשלישית
הוא הבין שראה
את מה שכבר קרה
ועוד עתיד לקרות
הוא עזב הכל
ונפל שדוד
הוא לא יכל לבוש עוד את הדמעות
הוא ראה את הנצח לפניו
והביט אל תוך עיניו
וראה ילדות חולפת
וידע מה יבוא עכשיו
והאופק הרחב
עדיין בעינו ניצב
,כמו תמיד
,כזה מפחיד
,מבהיל, מחריד
כמו אז-כן עכשיו

הוא פקח את עיניו
כמתעורר מחלום
-כמו שהיה תמיד
אבל לא היום
הוא הביט לאחור
וצחק, וצחק
בעודו ניצב שם על שפת תהום
,הוא מצא כבר תשובות
אך עדיין שאל
ולפתע חש במשב רוח קל
ושמע אז קול
שלא היה לו זר
הוא כבר שמע זאת בעבר

הוא שמע לחישה
"הקשב אליי
כבר ראיתי זאת בחיי
כעת האור נראה רחוק
אבל הוא לא רחוק מדיי
ונכון שזה מפחיד
אבל כך היה תמיד
אל תרעד, אל תפחד
היכן שלא תהיה
אינך ניצב לבד


How It's Always Been

He looks ahead
Then turns his look away
For he couldn't have seen what he just saw
He takes another pick
It's still there, it's gone nowhere
No, this cannot be, no
Then he saw with his eyes
Like never before
What's happened in the past
And will happen once more
Then suddenly collapsed
Gave in to all his fears
For he could no longer fight those tears

He saw forever and realized
While looking in its eyes
And watching a passing childhood
What's still ahead to come
And the big- big horizon
Still faced him like before
As it's always been
Absurd, obscene
The worst he's seen
Just how it's always been

He opened his eyes
Like waking up from a dream
As it's been so far-
But not today
He looked back,
Then looked ahead and laughed
While standing right on the verge
Of a great depth
When he looked again
Praying for someone to find him, please
He suddenly felt a quiet breeze
He then heard a voice
That was no stranger
Some when then he knew he'd hear it some when later

Listen now
Said this voice
You'll live it
For you have no choice
Though safety is far, or so it seems
It's not too far away, it never is
And even though it's scary
That's how it's always been
Do not shake,
Do not break
Know that's how it's always been
With every step you take

Shir (Translated from hebrew)

Your Despair

Your despair, your desire
All you dare and care about
All your tears, all you fear of
All that you can't do without
All you laugh at, all you cry for
All that you regret about
All your strength, lack of faith
Take it all, and run

Push all the way towards the edge
To a place where you can scream and no one hears
'Till you feel like it's enough
And care not how much it's tough
All you wanted then, your hopes
Do you remember?
Take all of that and use it to get better
Get to where you want to go.

All your love, all your hatred
All that knocks you off your feet
Let it burn till you learn
To not fear and not resist
All your truths that turned to lies
All the best you save for last
Everything you realize
The good, the worst and all the rest...

All the times you squeeze to life
Every time you nearly die...

Shir.

Partners For The Crime

If we were or weren't right didn't matter
We were, in their eyes, partners for the crime
Never mind if we were trying to make it better
We've done what they haven't, and that's all that counts
If we would take their path, would make no difference
We would still be walking alone
Each with his own wanting and secrets
We did as we were guided by our hearts.
For this, and so much more
I would never take this back
What we did, how we did it
This so called mistake
And that's how it went
That's about all
That's about it
I'll fall if you fall
Take this road with me
Answer when I call
For if falling is a sin
Aren't we all
partners for the crime?

Shir.

Nothing Wrong

sometimes I don't understand
why I feel guilty for what I did
and I didn't do anything bad
all I've done was holding you

and I want to say that I want to stay
and I want my way
I know where I belong
I would want to stay if I'm comfortable where I am
and I want it that way
and I did nothing wrong

sometimes I get really mad
you never get the message I want you to
and if you want me to lay by you
then all you have to do is ask
and it would be no mistake

and I want to say that I want to stay
and I want my way
I know where I belong
I would want to stay if I'm comfortable where I am
and I want it that way
and I did nothing wrong

sometimes, I don't understand...

Shir.

Queen For A Day

I'm not doing anything anymore
and I get tired sitting here in the cold
and I've seen it all before
here we go again
I'm not listening anymore
and I try to be better no more
and if it comes again
tell it to go away

I will lose my breathe
I will feel unsafe again
I will be a queen for a day
and I'll come crashing down
I'm not the only one

I gave up trying to be good
I'm not swallowing the world like i should
I don't seem to get it all correctly
and here I go insane
I'm not fighting anymore
and I'm not going anywhere
and if it comes again
tell it to go away
because here I stay

I will lose my breathe
I will feel unsafe again
I will be a queen for a day
and I'll come crashing down
I'm not the only one

and I try
and I die a little with each time
and I cry, as if I was the only one
bet some of us are having fun right now
but I don't want to know

Shir.

Official

I like to think of my self as endless
When you find me I'll usually be a bit of a mess
And I'm restless
I use to say that I don't laugh much, but when I do
I laugh truly
No matter what, I like to think I'm a special material
And it works until you make it official

You'll tag me, still I am no one you know
I'm feeling like no one before me
I'm bleeding unfamiliar blood
Mixed with pleasure and pride
I don't think i want to be found
I'm something of that kind

I do not speak unless I wasn't spoken to
I am not weak unless I say so I don't cry
Unless I said I do
I really don't laugh much but when I do
I laugh with all my heart
I'd like to think I'm a part of a miracle
It all seems good until it turns official

You'll tag me, but I am no one you know
I'm feeling like no one before me
I'm bleeding unfamiliar blood
Mixed with pleasure and pride
I don't think I want to be found
Something of that kind

Shir.

And so I have survived an entire week at work. It's hard, sometimes boring, I can't say that I'm looking forward to go back there next week, but now I have a little money, and every time I leave there, I feel very satisfied for managing to last a whole day without whining about it, and almost without wasting a minute of my time. Completed everything that I was needed to do. I'm not so happy lately and I don't know whether all of my ex- class mates feel that way, or whether it's only me, but for me, it's a drastic change, and changes aren't always comfortable and pleasant. Even when a baby tooth falls out, and the permanent tooth is starting to grow, it's not a very nice feeling, but none the less, it does not mean that it is not required.

Shir.

I Dare You

I dare you, sit down, wait
Don't fall asleep yet
Listen and you shall hear
A whistle, the beat of a heart
A wood screech, someone falling apart
A heart break, the silence itself
It's true that all seems to be safe
At day light, when all is clear
But sit still now and hear
When the light is out
The screech of a wood, the cry of a heart
The sound of something falling apart
See a shadow, a shout,
Then the laughter of the same heart
Stay awake, and see things
That can only be seen in the dark.

Shir.

Sea Sand

Look at how my feet dwell
in the sea sand
it covers them completely
and as I touch it
with my hand
It's warm from the heat of the sun
and I smile
This, at least, won't change
for a while
and it feels special
because of that
very few things don't
constantly change
very few things

I stare at my feet
dwell in this sea sand
As I think of tomorrow
trying to predict
and can't
my feet are warm from the sand
which is warm from the heat of the sun
no one can tell me what will happen, no one
but the things that will be there are the sun
and the sand
and my feet in it
and I'll land
Right here
in the sea sand.

Shir.

Why do I like the smell of grass, and hate the smell of gas? What is it that makes good smells good, and bad smells bad?
It's funny how sometimes we don't speak, or don't handle things, up until the point where they burst out all at once. As if we were stocking them in order to create as big of explosion as we can later on.
Why do I get upset, sometimes, with no real reason? Why do I write about how I like the smell of grass and dislike the smell of gas, when I want to say something else? I don't know what I want to say. Yes, I do, but... I don't want to specifically say things that I'd really like people to figure out on their own. I don't want to be so obvious, but I want people to get me. You can't enjoy both worlds.
If I'm honest, then people would say that I'm arrogant. If I'm being modest, then people would accuse me of being hypocrite. I want to say that I care not what other people may think or may not think of me, but it's not true. I do care, but I wouldn't want to fake, either, so... What do you do? How do you manipulate? I want nothing from no one, but as a matter of fact I do want something. No, I want everything. That's why I get nervous. It's like... you want so many things all at once, all at the same time, and you're almost like in a constant race to get it all, right away. You get irritated, you're always feeling slightly uncomfortable, so you move a little to the left, a little to the right, trying all kinds of angles until you find a state that is comfortable for you, and even then, when you find it, you know that it's not for long, and very soon you'll start looking for something else, different. But be honest with yourself- if you weren't so full of contrasts, and if you could enjoy and be happy in one place, in the same situation for long, wouldn't that drive you crazy just as fair? If you're a writer, I believe, you feel all those things that I just mentioned. We all want people to hear us, and to appreciate us, and to recognize that we have a tremendous talent, and we all want to be able to do something GREAT, that would make not one person recognize it, not two people, but to make something that would make the whole world go: "WOAH".
I'm restless, at times I'm moody, and at times I'm just happy, and sometimes I'm really happy, and instead of being satisfied with it, I get even more restless because of it, and can't sleep at night. And I still haven't found exactly what the right amounts of polite and honesty are, so... I still toggle between them. And it's great. You know what?... I kind of like it.Shir. And I think, heh, if I'm not mistaking... Flaws add to diamonds' value.

I need some pain killers... What do they give to horses, for instance?

Shir.