I'm still here still waiting for the buss as the sun begins to rise
So I guess no sleep for me tonight
Wish I could throw away the god damn watch then I won't be forced to watch
How the time I was supposed to get to work has passed


If I could I would tell my boss to go to hell
And let him feel the way I felt
When he shut my moth and made me want to disappear

Nine AM. Can't remember who I am wish my life was not so lame
Well it's nice to know self pity still works
I can stay and wait until I go insane then I'll never have to work again
And won't have to have some boss who is a jerk

According to my Mass Comm. teacher, EVERY movie is meant to educate you in some way, otherwise you would not watch it. We used to have arguments over this at class, and I had to make sure I understood him correctly. See, I, like most people I've spoken with, believed that there are movies you only watch purely entertainment, and nothing more. However, according to him, there is no such thing as 'watching purely to be entertained'. See, it entertains you for a reason... because you can see yourself in it or because you recognize the comical situation from some place or... The bottom line is, you are learning something, from which ever movie you see, no matter how un- serious and how commercialized it may be (according to him). What Ever... (I can see the sense of it, I just haven't gotten it completely figured out quite yet, but in the test I had to pretend I completely agree, because while I see it as an opinion, in that matter it seems that he believed that any other opinion would be wrong). BUT, if there was one movie that I've seen and can clearly say that people can learn from, it would be America X. In my eyes, that is the LAST movie you would call a GOOD movie. See, I did not enjoy watching it. I wasn't exactly tormented, but I was kind of... almost... disturbed. So I would not call it a "good" movie. BUT, as far as it comes to impressing and shaking you, this movie does the job, definitely, oh, yeah.

If I Knew Now What I Will Know Then

If I knew now what I will know then
We would not argue and none of this would have to happen
I would be peaceful but then again
Why do you have to be like this? This is insane

Never knowing whether to trust myself or you
Leave me alone now, I wish I was, I wish I am, I wish I knew
Say that I don't know you, but I believe I do
But how can I tell? I guess you can, how can I know now
What I'll only know then?

Thoughts in my head are driving me mad
Please understand, I guess in spite of me you just don't understand
I would be grateful if for once you would just give me a hand
Without giving me greave, without asking questions

Never knowing whether to trust myself or you
Leave me alone now, I wish I was, I wish I am, I wish I knew
Say that I don't know you, but I believe I do
But how can I tell? I guess you can, how can I know now
What I'll only know then?

Don't you dare to let me go even for a minute
Don't you dare to let me know
You're not doing so great either, I don't care
Because although I'm just a mess
If it's good enough for you then it's the best
I ever will be.

Here Is My Plan

Here is my plan for keeping you around
Talk a lot, laugh a lot, and touch a lot
That is how I'm keeping you in sight
Look a lot, like a lot, want a lot
What's a lot?
Not too much, but far from little
In between, yet far from the middle
Talk quietly, listen carefully, and hear your note
-That's a lot
Here is my plan for keeping you close
Talk a lot, laugh a lot, and touch a lot
Move a lot, hear your note, and hear my own
Fear you not

Finally

Slow down, come down, think harder, think deeper
I keep saying to myself, nothings lasts, time will pass
Eventually
Cannot find new words to describe all I feel even though
it's new to me, cannot say what's in my head, though I recognize it
Totally


Stand up, speak up, speak out, spit out
That's what I think I have to do, ain't it strange how I change
Suddenly
Bang my head against the wall searching for describing
Very basic stuff, things of the soul, things of us all, love
Actually 

Hello, you

Hello, you, I hope you're having a great time over there
Where ever it is, I just wish you'd have the best time ever with me
And please don't tell me you don't know
And sleep in peace where ever it is you go to sleep tonight

And the sky is gray, and it keeps on raining
I've never seen so much rain and I know it's just beginning
And you know not what you have
And as I lay my head on the window
I hope you know...
I hope you know

Good morning, you, would you tell me what it's like
To wake up out there where everything is wild and hard but you are free?
And please don't tell me you don't have a clue
And promise me I'll go with you the next time you go out?

And the sky is gray, and it keeps on raining
I've never seen so much rain and I know it's just beginning
And you know not what you have
And as I lay my head on the window
I hope you know...
I hope you know

Hello, you...

Shir.

Alright

Excuse me while I throw my feelings up
It's the worst when you're forced to watch your Nightmare come to life
If the road to your heart is through your pants
Feel free to dig in, be my guest, what else? What else?

Sometimes I think
All was just a waste but then no, no
Everything is alright
See all that goes to waste when I don't know
Everything is alright


I reach a hand and touch my fears and wip
It feels good, as though I should
Give in and listen to my pain
And let you kill me like you do I'll take my chance
And chances are I won't be coming back from you

Sometimes I think
All was just a waste but then no, no
Everything is alright
See all that goes to waste when I don't know
Everything is alright
Stick every little thought
Right down your throat
While everything is alright
Speak thunder storms away
Before you're gone
And everything is alright

Easier To Sleep.

If I could have anything, anything at all
I would have you in my life completely and all the way in
Like you came in and stole my soul
I can break
Will I be breaking in your arms?

I can't control you
I can't control me and whatever I do
Seems to have no effect at all
What can I do to make it easier to sleep at night?

I reach a hand and touch my fears
It feels good, as if I should give in and listen to my pain
And let you kill me like you do
So I'll take my chance
And chances are I won't be coming back from you

I can't control you
I can't control me and whatever I do
Seems to have no effect at all
What can I do to make it easier to sleep at night?

Shir.

The Greatest Song Ever

The greatest song ever was written
In a time of great fear
When I knew not where I should go
And that's how you know
That it came from the heart
The real heart, not the heart
You make up to make a rime
Not the kind you see in movies
The real heart, mine
I'm now torn apart
And I used to be whole
Now there's a hole in me, do you see it?-
A hole.
When my heart hurt so badly that nothing's mattered
That was when I've started to surrender
And that's when I wrote the greatest song ever
In a time of great fear
And it has been my cry
And I did not shed a tear.

Shir

One of Those Days

Sometimes it's safer to not look ahead
Close your eyes, why should you get sad?
Everything around you suggests that you've gone mad
Soon it starts raining exactly where you stand
At this point you know that either way will turn out bad
You lie back down and pull the covers over your head
This is one of those days when you shouldn't leave bed.

Shir




Nights of Lightning Storms

I see you following my footsteps
I know your eyes are hungry, you know who I am
Those drops on my face are no bother
I walk slowly, never hurry, 'cause it's me you claim

It's me who dances nights of lightning storms away
And falls to pieces on the floor at first light
It's me and you will do your best to make me stay
To chase away another yesterday
Until the next night

It's me who dances nights of lightning storms away
Then falls to pieces when it's dawn
It will be me to cry and laugh 'till black will fade to gray
And then pass out before the first light

Look What You Did

Look what you did, you've reshaped a person
Forget about all else. Look what you did
Even were you useless for any other purpose
Look what you did,
See what's in front of you?
You shouldn't see, and yet you should
Don't want to tell you, yet I would
Now look what you did
You've reshaped a person
Don't you feel guilty now?
And don't you feel responsible?

Shir

Give Me the Freedom of Speech

Give me the freedom of speech
For the freedom of thought in which
I do make use, do not make me choose
Between being true and being wanted
I would love to, someday, leave my shame behind
If I can have my freedom of speech
Then I shall win my peace of mind.

Shir.

People Like Us

There is some comfort in us being so sad
And I'm glad for what it means and you know
And I don't have to tell you
There's even comfort in me being scared
I'm not dead, and that is how I know I'm still alive
Another day that I've survived

You laugh and you tell me to see the glass is still half full
That's what I need, and yes indeed it is, even in this absurd situation
You sigh, I need a hug, and I sigh too.
I don't complain, all I can say
Is that people like us should always have their way

I smile with bitter sweet pleasure when we're apart
In a starving heart there's so much beauty, so I think
And I seek for ways through
I take comfort in just being sad
I understand and that's how I know I'm safe
Another day that I've survived...

You laugh and you tell me to see the glass is still half full
That's what I need, and yes indeed it is, even in this absurd situation
You sigh, I need a hug, and I sigh too.
I don't complain, all I can say
Is that people like us should always have their way



Shir.

The Bridge on the "Eyes Ahead" River

I've watched this river from a far
Many times before
On the other side it always seemed brighter
Too bright, and therefore
I have always wanted to cross, my self,
Watching the lucky ones passing by
They have all crossed and reached there in peace
Why can't I?
This day, no one is passing
The bridge waits for no one but me
Almost calling me, teasing, asking:
Don't you want to be free?
I take my shoes off, remove my socks
Along with the little things that just like those rocks
Prevented me from going there
Made me stay behind before
Not today
Not anymore
Here I pass also
Here I go

Shir.

Feels Like Nothing

I kind of feel empty that way
Feels like nothing but this emptiness
Is better than the craziness
Don't longer see my self as a whole
Seems the choice is to either feel that way
Or not to feel at all

And I can't control this
And I don't want to
I jumped in the water
Thinking: what will be, will be
And what will be, will be
And it's true, and now I see
I haven't lost a thing
I simply didn't have it at all.

I wonder if I should get up now
What's the use? What's to lose?
If all is going to fall anyway
Wondering how I've made it so far
It feels bad, and it hurts
But those things happen every day

My Anyway

If no one came after me
I would likely run away
I'll scream my heart out if I want to
'cause who cares, anyway?
It wouldn't be enough
Even had the world were mine
And I'm not upset
For as a matter of fact
I'm angry all the time
And I'm doing fine.

And my world is my anyway
And it's true in my eyes, anyhow
And my words are mine to say
And I'll run away somehow
I don't care, starting now.

I would happen anyway
Things like me happen everywhere, all the time
Where are the... oh, good, now I don't have a rime
Where are the stupid words?
It's not my attitude
It's not even one of those days
And I'm not upset, it's not my mood
And some days are better
It doesn't matter
What ever

And my world is my anyway
And it's true in my eyes, anyhow
And my words are mine to say
And I'll run away somehow
I don't care, starting now.

Shir.

If we push our selves to our limits, and dare to set a foot beyond them- we often realize that they were not even there. It's a known fact that people have a lot more to them then they realize, and that it sits quietly in some dark corner, waiting to only be found in times of true necessity. It appears to me that we have even more to us than this. Think of the farthest place you can possibly get to. Now think one step beyond there. That is how far you can go.

Shir.