Well... day two of the craft festival. I managed to set it up so that the guys wouldn't have to get up at the asscrack of dawn to go up there today, which is good, because I'm rested. Unfortunately, Rodd used the extra time to go pick up his girlfriend to go with us.

-.-

I honestly hate this person. I didn't used to, but yeah, now I do. A few weeks ago Rodd was in his most fervent 'I'm gonna leave her' modes, and I just smiled at him when he said it. "What?" he asked me.

"Excuse me if I don't hold my breath," was my answer. Of course he was pissed at that, but I explained to him that he had pulled this kind of stunt before, and I had absolutely no faith that he would follow through with it.

Sure enough, now they're all chummy again. Which is fine, everyone needs someone to love. They just don't need to sacrifice the people who have sacrificed for them in the process.

So now its too cold to paint the cars, and I'm out of a job. Well, great. I'm thinking about applying at the bank, where if I was hired I would have to get up early for work. Which would mean no more late nights... which will almost certainly ruin my time with Emily, who has class during the day.  Everywhere I go I run into walls. And I'm just not strong enough to get over them anymore.

Well, I'm sick again. The good part about this particular kind of cold is that, even though the days are miserable, I sleep like the dead who aren't quite dead but just sleeping and thus easily confused with the dead at a casual glance.

Hey, note to everyone. If you're happy, don't ever tell anyone who isn't directly responsible for it. Seriously, people love to take it as a slap in the face when someone else is happy and talks about it.

Moving on... I'm going to bed.

Despite what the amateur literary world at large seems to think, all poetry does not have to be about death, dying, or killing! 

Favorite song at the moment:

One More F*cking Time by Motorhead

Hey, if you haven't had a chance to meet cranky Moorn yet, right about now's a damned good time to do it.

This is definitely the kind of night where one wonders just how the hell to make things happen.

New story at: 79.On a Moonbeam.

I feel cold. Tonight was a hard night.

Hm... what to talk about tonight. 

Who's up for some materialism-bashing?

A forum community called Gaia has my attention tonight. It has an economy system that allows users to purchase appearance upgrades for their personal chibi-avatars, in the form of clothing and various accessories.

And yup, people are greedy and aggressive when it comes to these things. Even fake items, fake money, things that only exist in digital form, are coveted and hoarded by people who have, like most professional athleteres, forgotten that what they are doing is a game. Fun for the game, not the spoils.

I keep hearing people groaning about how awful the United States has become. Foreigners especially, who know absolutely nothing about the country other than the basest textbook knowledge and a flood of rumors and yet still believe they can make insulting generalizations about Americans. These people are pure idiots. There are also Americans who groan and bitch about the system, without doing anything to change it themselves. These people are also idiots.

Now, as much as either of these two groups complain about my country, I know for a fact what the worst facet of American nature is. Materialism. Everybody in this country is raised from birth nowadays to make as much money and hoard as much treasure as possible during life. This cheapens life, but people have no choice... if I don't hoard money, someone else will. But that's the problem in this country. Materialism and the lust for money and stuff.

on a happier note. Blah blah blah!! Whee! o.o

There are a lot of depressing entries in the public blog. So I'll list what I'm happy about, and see if anyone else can overcome that wall of antagonism that goes with being a writer of any merit.

1. Emily Ann Karnes.
2. The comedy channel
3. Ramen
4. Blueberry Tea
5. Movies
6. Stories
7. Enhaya
8. Ink Pens
9. The clique.
10. Good poetry.
11. Empathy.
12. Nightshadow
13. Emily. 

There we go. Happy thoughts!

Good day, bad day, good day, horrid day, good day, great day, dammit. Ever have one of those days? I did today.

I'm tired. I have answers for other peoples' problems, but not mine. It's getting old. 

And I really hate this 'log right into your received messages' thing. I vastly prefer the mainpage. I usually just click the damned mainpage button right away anyway. What a waste of time.

Emily and I have an anniversary coming up in about a week. A whole year, she's been my star.

Gads... it hasn't felt like a year with her. A few blissful moments, perhaps, not nearly long enough.

... will forever be long enough, I wonder? I'd love to find out.

If I've got jobs I'm supposed to do for you, have patience. I just need to be left alone for a while.

Well, I got a little work done here today, amidst a long, endless, did I mention long day full o f setbacks and frustrations. Now all I have to do is kick the GIMP until it can accept that cool calligraphy font that Kaimee sent me, and then I can get to the banners and such that need done. Patience pollywogs, I'm doing my best.

Hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to walk normally. Today was much better than yesterday, in that I could go from one end of the house to the other without having to sit down. Though I still had to do the dishes sitting on a stool. Maybe tomorrow I'll make it outside.

The last few days have been inredibly long for me. The next few don't look that good. If someone happens to have a WritersCo duty for me, and I can't get to it in the next little bit, I apologize.

"Say what you want about me, I don't care"

"I am who I am, so deal with it"

Diagnosis: You suffer from a mild to severe case of low self esteem, and in order to get people to give their opinions about you and/or be angry with you, you have said that you don't care about their opinions. This is called displacement. You are in effect shifting the blame for your own feelings of personal self-worthlessness to others, so that you don't have to deal with the fact that it's you who is at fault for those feelings. You push people away as a cry for attention, because secretly, so secretly that even you might not know it, you want people to notice you. The fact is that people don't care about you either, because you are a total stranger to people. In time they might have come to care about you, except you pushed everyone away by trying to prove your independence (and thus gain respect). Therefore it is your own fault that no one of worth cares about you, and your personal problems are your own doing.

Seriously people, I've met so many different types of people that say things like the quotes above, and it's just not necessary. I can't understand why people would purposely act like assholes to others, when life is so short and so precious. News flash you egocentric sons of bitches, no one has to 'deal with it'. They can do as most probably do, look at you in scorn and turn away to find someone who will smile and treat them well. And when you're all alone, you'll have no one to blame but yourself, because you drove people away.

Smile. Laugh. Your life might be bad, but it's never as bd as it could be. Be happy for what you have, hold life precious, and hold the love of people precious. Otherwise, have a nice, lonely existence and stop raining on everyone else's love parade.

Well, I've agreed to take over Kaimee's responsibilities now that she and Shanra are gone, at least where graphics are concerned. It's a pretty intimidating load, and I have to say that I'm somewhat gobsmacked about it, especially when one considers that I find myself with less and less time to dedicate to these communities nowadays. I'll do the best I can, though. I'd hate to see writersco stalled over a tiff.

stupid mood swings. stupid stupid stupid.

I do wish people would get involved in the forums. It's impossible to have an intelligent debate when I'm the only person there, since I 'm missing that key component.

I should really start getting more sleep, or sleep at better hours of the day. The last week or so has felt like a long a lingering an infinitesimal, wakng dream. One would think that such a state would be ideal for writing, but in fact it tends to leave me in a constant state of o.o that involves a great deal of staring while thoughts like "I wonder if I should get up and get the phone before it rings a few more times" parade about the innards of my skull. 

Ah well, at least the fighting in my house has been minimal lately. But I'm going to sleep now, so everyone, have a wonderful night/day.

Since Elftown doesn't seem to want to work for me right now, I'll stick this part of my RP edit there in my blod here for later retrieval. Dammit.

The black and blue spheres take on a momentary glimmer before shattering into a billion shards, shards that enfold Yue and Nuria within an endless march of gossamer strands. The bottom drops out of the nonexistent floor, allowing them to freefall to a floor just below.

"Good guess," Yue mutters. "Look around you. This section of the maze leads down to the master clock room, a shrine built around the temporal point from which all strands of time originate. It's not going to be a picnic getting down there, though." 

The two stand at the very top of a cavernous shaft of mortar and diamond, littered with cogs, gears, wheels, and clock parts of every sort. The noise is enough that Yue has to shout to be heard. He gestures towards a small clockface on the wall, one that hasn't been wound. A key sticks out from the base.

"Ask yourself this, if you want the wheels of time to freeze and allow you passage. Ask yourself what time it is when the time is half past yesterday."

At the end of every day, I think its important for a person to look back on what they've done and say 'hey, this is what I want to be doing'. Whether that person is lying with that statement is moot.

Well. I finished reading The Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy today. I really felt like I'd been cheated, and whoever paid the six bucks for the paperback needed his money back. A book with no real storyline, without an ending to speak of... I missed the boat on that one, I think. I just didn't get it. The book was amusing in many places, but it was more like a sketch from a comedy show than a novel. Needless to say, I didn't look through the 92-page 'bonus' section on 'the making of the movie'. I heard that the movie was lame compared to the book. I can't imagine anything being lame compared to that book, so I'll skip it.