He Merely Stood There

By a football court
Watching them- active-
In what they call a sport
Merely a boy- in figure-
No one would care
And for a while, he merely stood there
A rabi and a reverend passed by
Murmured at the cruelty of the game
though at a glimpse from the side
They were merely the same
One was lying to the other, the boy knew
One was stealing from another
Who in turn was robbing, too
The boy said: "I'm hungry"
The people never heard
The boy whispered: "I'm lonesome"
No person understood
The boy said: "I'm here"
Still, unnoticed he stood
He has come carrying, to them,
- and not for the first time-
Came bringing to them
What they crave, and write about
And wish, and say they want
He stood, not very far,
Then left the earthiness.
They had remained as they were
in their unworthiness. 

This is a thing said out of despair
a frustration call, a cry in words
Define it as you will, I care not
For all I wanted has gone out the window
And farther out of reach
Yet this is all I want
As tears are threatenning to drown
And I cannot find my speech
Name it what you will, I care not
And there are other joyments to look for and I will not
Other targets to aim at but I will not
And I could have done it earlier on and did not
And I am sorry, and I find comfort not
And I regret and forgive myself not
And there are old shadows I still long to catch
And chase is what I'll do
And turn around I will not

Shir.

Don't know why you've become an iceberg but you did
And it hurts like falling in through a hole in the ice
Right into the cold water, at first you feel everything
Then you no longer feel a thing, but I do, and I do and I don't understand
At first I was only a stranger in my land, now I'm a stranger in my own bed
Being left to cry and you're right there, you're right there
And I'm right here where you left me he last time and I
I wanted to run to you
Now I wish to run away from you
Don't even know if I'm wanted anymore
If I'm such a pain in the butt then what do you need me for

She can hear her heart
She hears a familiar melody
Understands the sound in the back of her mind
Feels an arm to her right side that she knows so well
But she can't tell
I'm afraid she can't see a thing

She can feel a tear from behind her eye
Is it a minute or a year before she starts to cry
Perhaps within a year from now she'll know
By the time her tears have dried
That she couldn't see a thing
For she was blind
She couldn't see a thing
Although she tried hard
I know inside she's such a perfect... mess
She finds it easier refering to herself as someone else
Go explain to her that these things-
Were never meant to be easy
- She's torn apart
Tell it to her heart

Shir.

Had I known this path I should let no arrows guide me
I should follow no white light around me
For no one should walk there beside me
I have a choice now as ever
to follow a voice that is restless
run to the safest place
Run, hide yourself from your madness
Except then I hear another voice:
No treasures to find in safe places
You have already claimed for the unclaimable
Now go on, mad, outsmart your chances
Follow my message, if you will
Listen for this road leads to you
As every other road I've taken
as everything I am yet to do
I am where you are for that's where you left me
I have claimed my reward, come claim yours
You've quite a lot
But the heart is now my own to lose
I can run to safety now
Yet I refuse refuse
Your light, roughness, mouth, senses blind me, my mind's blown way
I shall follow my own arrows
In a different day.


Shir.

First Time With the Guitar In My Hands

First time with the guitar in my hands
And a few chords I now know
I don't know what it is but I'm playing
want to quit but I'm staying
If you know what I mean

First time with the guitar in my hands
And I begin to understand what it's all about
Fingers run, brain is gone
Pretty soon I'll come back down

Is that what you do when there's only you
And you're going though god knows what
And you're lying in between
I don't want to go anywhere
Don't want to do anything else tonight
If you know what I mean

First time with the guitar in my hands
And so I begin to understand what it's all about
fingers run, brain is gone
Pretty soon I'll come back down
Finally feels as if I won
Something that isn't truly mine
But I'll borrow it

This isn't really the first time it's in my hands
But thanks to you this time I think I understand

First time...


Shir.

I'm still here still waiting for the buss as the sun begins to rise
So I guess no sleep for me tonight
Wish I could throw away the god damn watch then I won't be forced to watch
How the time I was supposed to get to work has passed


If I could I would tell my boss to go to hell
And let him feel the way I felt
When he shut my moth and made me want to disappear

Nine AM. Can't remember who I am wish my life was not so lame
Well it's nice to know self pity still works
I can stay and wait until I go insane then I'll never have to work again
And won't have to have some boss who is a jerk

According to my Mass Comm. teacher, EVERY movie is meant to educate you in some way, otherwise you would not watch it. We used to have arguments over this at class, and I had to make sure I understood him correctly. See, I, like most people I've spoken with, believed that there are movies you only watch purely entertainment, and nothing more. However, according to him, there is no such thing as 'watching purely to be entertained'. See, it entertains you for a reason... because you can see yourself in it or because you recognize the comical situation from some place or... The bottom line is, you are learning something, from which ever movie you see, no matter how un- serious and how commercialized it may be (according to him). What Ever... (I can see the sense of it, I just haven't gotten it completely figured out quite yet, but in the test I had to pretend I completely agree, because while I see it as an opinion, in that matter it seems that he believed that any other opinion would be wrong). BUT, if there was one movie that I've seen and can clearly say that people can learn from, it would be America X. In my eyes, that is the LAST movie you would call a GOOD movie. See, I did not enjoy watching it. I wasn't exactly tormented, but I was kind of... almost... disturbed. So I would not call it a "good" movie. BUT, as far as it comes to impressing and shaking you, this movie does the job, definitely, oh, yeah.

If I Knew Now What I Will Know Then

If I knew now what I will know then
We would not argue and none of this would have to happen
I would be peaceful but then again
Why do you have to be like this? This is insane

Never knowing whether to trust myself or you
Leave me alone now, I wish I was, I wish I am, I wish I knew
Say that I don't know you, but I believe I do
But how can I tell? I guess you can, how can I know now
What I'll only know then?

Thoughts in my head are driving me mad
Please understand, I guess in spite of me you just don't understand
I would be grateful if for once you would just give me a hand
Without giving me greave, without asking questions

Never knowing whether to trust myself or you
Leave me alone now, I wish I was, I wish I am, I wish I knew
Say that I don't know you, but I believe I do
But how can I tell? I guess you can, how can I know now
What I'll only know then?

Don't you dare to let me go even for a minute
Don't you dare to let me know
You're not doing so great either, I don't care
Because although I'm just a mess
If it's good enough for you then it's the best
I ever will be.

Here Is My Plan

Here is my plan for keeping you around
Talk a lot, laugh a lot, and touch a lot
That is how I'm keeping you in sight
Look a lot, like a lot, want a lot
What's a lot?
Not too much, but far from little
In between, yet far from the middle
Talk quietly, listen carefully, and hear your note
-That's a lot
Here is my plan for keeping you close
Talk a lot, laugh a lot, and touch a lot
Move a lot, hear your note, and hear my own
Fear you not

Finally

Slow down, come down, think harder, think deeper
I keep saying to myself, nothings lasts, time will pass
Eventually
Cannot find new words to describe all I feel even though
it's new to me, cannot say what's in my head, though I recognize it
Totally


Stand up, speak up, speak out, spit out
That's what I think I have to do, ain't it strange how I change
Suddenly
Bang my head against the wall searching for describing
Very basic stuff, things of the soul, things of us all, love
Actually 

Hello, you

Hello, you, I hope you're having a great time over there
Where ever it is, I just wish you'd have the best time ever with me
And please don't tell me you don't know
And sleep in peace where ever it is you go to sleep tonight

And the sky is gray, and it keeps on raining
I've never seen so much rain and I know it's just beginning
And you know not what you have
And as I lay my head on the window
I hope you know...
I hope you know

Good morning, you, would you tell me what it's like
To wake up out there where everything is wild and hard but you are free?
And please don't tell me you don't have a clue
And promise me I'll go with you the next time you go out?

And the sky is gray, and it keeps on raining
I've never seen so much rain and I know it's just beginning
And you know not what you have
And as I lay my head on the window
I hope you know...
I hope you know

Hello, you...

Shir.

Alright

Excuse me while I throw my feelings up
It's the worst when you're forced to watch your Nightmare come to life
If the road to your heart is through your pants
Feel free to dig in, be my guest, what else? What else?

Sometimes I think
All was just a waste but then no, no
Everything is alright
See all that goes to waste when I don't know
Everything is alright


I reach a hand and touch my fears and wip
It feels good, as though I should
Give in and listen to my pain
And let you kill me like you do I'll take my chance
And chances are I won't be coming back from you

Sometimes I think
All was just a waste but then no, no
Everything is alright
See all that goes to waste when I don't know
Everything is alright
Stick every little thought
Right down your throat
While everything is alright
Speak thunder storms away
Before you're gone
And everything is alright

Easier To Sleep.

If I could have anything, anything at all
I would have you in my life completely and all the way in
Like you came in and stole my soul
I can break
Will I be breaking in your arms?

I can't control you
I can't control me and whatever I do
Seems to have no effect at all
What can I do to make it easier to sleep at night?

I reach a hand and touch my fears
It feels good, as if I should give in and listen to my pain
And let you kill me like you do
So I'll take my chance
And chances are I won't be coming back from you

I can't control you
I can't control me and whatever I do
Seems to have no effect at all
What can I do to make it easier to sleep at night?

Shir.

The Greatest Song Ever

The greatest song ever was written
In a time of great fear
When I knew not where I should go
And that's how you know
That it came from the heart
The real heart, not the heart
You make up to make a rime
Not the kind you see in movies
The real heart, mine
I'm now torn apart
And I used to be whole
Now there's a hole in me, do you see it?-
A hole.
When my heart hurt so badly that nothing's mattered
That was when I've started to surrender
And that's when I wrote the greatest song ever
In a time of great fear
And it has been my cry
And I did not shed a tear.

Shir

One of Those Days

Sometimes it's safer to not look ahead
Close your eyes, why should you get sad?
Everything around you suggests that you've gone mad
Soon it starts raining exactly where you stand
At this point you know that either way will turn out bad
You lie back down and pull the covers over your head
This is one of those days when you shouldn't leave bed.

Shir




Nights of Lightning Storms

I see you following my footsteps
I know your eyes are hungry, you know who I am
Those drops on my face are no bother
I walk slowly, never hurry, 'cause it's me you claim

It's me who dances nights of lightning storms away
And falls to pieces on the floor at first light
It's me and you will do your best to make me stay
To chase away another yesterday
Until the next night

It's me who dances nights of lightning storms away
Then falls to pieces when it's dawn
It will be me to cry and laugh 'till black will fade to gray
And then pass out before the first light