[Shadowsong]: 148.Screaming At Love

Rating: 0.00

Uploaded by:

Shadowsong

Created:

2007-05-21 18:59:04

[Shadowsong]: 148.Shadow to Shadow

Up:
[Shadowsong]: 148 (Top Index)

[Shadowsong]: 148.Decision

Keywords:

Another on Love

Genre:

Angst

Style:

poetry

I scream at you
I yell at you
I make you hurt
I am wrong
I am sorry
Does it matter?

Why do I do it?
I don’t know why…
But if I try…
Something inside me tells me…
It says I love you…
Can it be true…?

I try to understand…
I think it may be…
I Love You…
But I don’t know how to…
I don’t know how to be with you…
Why?

God… I’m sorry
I’m sorry
I’m sorry
I’m so sorry
I’m sorry
I’m sorry
Can you forgive me?

I will wait…
For you I will wait…
Forever…
If that’s how long it will take…
I only want another chance…
Will you come back to me?

2007-05-21 bloody kisses: Wow. A lot of emotion, and the feel of eaves dropping entered thought. Wonderful. That's great! (not so much for me, but it shows you can show personal ownership in words such as the above) I love the structure, and the seeming lack there of. Though some lines seem a bit long...such as in the second stanza, 'Something inside me tells me...' Possibly dropping the first me would sound a bit more in line? Though the third stanza - whether or not it looks like it does at first glance - flows greatly. Nice work!

*leaves a half eaten cake*

...

*darts to the next page before someone says anything*