[ghost]: 200.Poetry.Alone

I stand alone
atop this hill of shattered dreams
who am I that I
be exempt from the death that I see
while I stand above
this barren wasteland, this vast and endless stream
of lost hope, lost souls
who've lost the end to gain the means

I stand alone
for there's no one else who stands at all
they, on their knees
content themselves to mediocrity
and I, on my feet
depend on my will to carry me
to what I want
be it desire or be it need

'cause I stand alone
as I walk the crowded city streets
and so it was with me
everyday the same kind of different
until one day
I met someone who changed the world I saw
until that day
when my life was forever changed by fate

no more alone for me
for I would never again want for what I couldn't have
which meant no wandering
it was time to settle down, to decide what I wanted life to be
and so I stopped
I became social, whereas before I wouldn't have cared
if tomorrow was truly lonely
because the entire world had disappeared

and so I grew
I left the place I'd lived so long, I said goodbye
and as I turned to leave
I felt the meaning of everything slip away
what did I know
that I could think that I could live by anybody else's rules
didn't I see
how much in vain my efforts would ultimately be

but I survived
I placed my trust in those I loved, and who loved me
and I moved on
to what looked to be bigger and better things
and then you left
you left me floundering, a stranger stranded in strange lands
again, alone
except now I don't know where I am

why did you do this?
what was the gift you thought you gave?
soft and gentle as a kiss
you sent me tumbling down into my grave
was it not better
when I knew that I was alone, and I was right
than how things are now
I know I'm not alone, except I'm wrong

But it is here
my story ends, because there's no need to complete it
who really cares
about the end of a conqueror who has been defeated
and we know what happens next
the hero goes home, gets the girl
and I, left to my doom
without home to which to return

see, no man is an island
as long as he admits a life beyond himself
and fate lead him to my end
should he forget the purpose of his life
I was meant to live
I chose to die
such is the sin I give to time
I meant to leave
I stayed behind
with shutters closed to hide the world that passed me by

But here, redemption
is given me in the form of condemnation
for I am not unable
to take back all that is mine
and some day, I'll reflect
when I've filled up the universe
on what I lost
what I gave up to fulfill my true purpose

Here is art
here, entertainment
mere distraction, but there's no replacement
for my mind
and its creation
or for the time I took to make it
yes, here is life
let me show you laughter
here is time on a silver platter
And though I serve,
'tis only me to please
fulfill my possibilities
become the best that I can be
alone, I stand, alone, I walk
alone, I grieve, alone, I fall
alone, I climb, alone, I dream
as I become my own everything