[Kuzco]: 212.In love with an alien

In love with an alien. © Hugo Damas 2006

“Shut up!”
“What?”
“It’s impossible, you’re messing with me.”
“I am not!”
“That’s sick dude!”
“HEY! I am not sick!
“You’re in love with an alien for god’s sake!”

Yes…you did hear correctly. I, Jakino, am in love with an alien. The only ones interested in aliens are fetish or sick perverts but I have no sexual interest in her, it’s purely romance. Actually, I dunno what it is.
I first saw her in the universal modelling contests, my ex-girlfriend wanted to check it out. She was laughing out loud, mocking all the aliens “how can that EVER be beautiful? Ahaha”. I thought it was pretty mean; surely there was something about them, since the judges were from a lot of races. And then I saw her…over from alfa centauri, section 1, planet 3 by the earth name of “Meh’lin”. Her name is weird… I’ve never heard anybody pronounce it correctly and it took me two weeks to do it. When I finally managed the same kind of accent and pronunciation she did, I was absolutely marvelled; the name somehow flowed in my mouth, I had to roll my tongue a certain flexible way to accomplish it. I knew right away her species ought to be great kissers! Anyways, back to subject, when I saw her I was hooked. My girlfriend wanted to change the channel but I gripped the remote and didn’t let her. She got annoyed but I didn’t care! My god she was beautiful… it was like a supernova suddenly hit my black hole. I went on the neuronet to find everything, everything about her and her species. I read 12 different biographies, saw over 1200 pictures from every angle. I wanted to know more about herself than her mother knew.
I constantly wondered if I wasn’t getting obsessed or a pervert interest but no; I hadn’t the heart or the guts to search for any naked or porn stuff, ever! If the idea came to me I would feel disgusted. Would you care if the goddess of love, Venus, was naked? NO! Would you care if the Green Tara was naked? NO! Would you even feel porn like if you would gaze into Durga, or Hera, the most divine and beautiful of Greek immortals? No. I was like that, I was hooked in an enthusiasm that inexorably pushed me forward and forward through any limitations and barriers you can think of.
I learned hacking so I could find out more; I learned thinking so I could send her a letter. My girlfriend became my ex-girlfriend, my friends were all pissed off but I did not care! Took me a whole month to think up a text to send her and though I doubted she would ever read it I sent it...I sent it because I loved her. It’s stupid I know, I’m just a 20 years old kid, how can I be in love? And furthermore, to an alien I have never talked too?
It’s stupid but it’s a fact, nobody knows what love’s like till they get hit and lord knows I screamed “I’M HIT! MEDIC!! MEDIC!!” but love’s the only sickness no one is ever gonna find a cure for. And who wants too anyways? A life in contentment is a good life but a life with a year of love and the rest of it in contentment is WAY better. I just feel like I connected with her; she was beautiful enough to get me intrigued but then, as I found out her story and life, I started liking her and after many sleepless nights thinking I finally had the epiphany that told me “You love her! GET OVER IT!”.
Sighs…I’m a damned fool…

“That doesn’t mean I’m sick dammit!”
“Get away from me! You make me sick!”
That’s my best friend by the way, nice isn’t he? I’ve been getting that from everyone…all of them condemn me and my unnatural feelings. I keep telling my self this is how the first Caucasian person felt falling in love with a black during the racist time…if there was a racist time, I don’t believe in rumours but I’m starting to see a point in that one.
My friend leaves me but I reinforce my strength of will and go ahead, buying the ticket. I’m going to the miss universe finals to watch my love… it’s been months since I sent my thought letter and still no reply; I’m not surprised though, she must get them by the hundreds, hell, billions! We’re dealing with a miss universe after all.
Oh, by the way, that conversation with my best friend came up because he saw me sleeping in line in front of the stand. I got the first ticket in the whole universe so I have the best seats possible, after the VIPs and royalty and all the important people.
The show begins and model after model walks up and down and is questioned and stuff. I obviously just wake up when I hear her name, badly pronounced of course. She’s wearing…gah, I can’t think right! Jeez my brain’s shutting down...so pretty…
…
For the special abilities, she’s going to sing a song. Their version of opera…when I heard it on the neuronet I thought it had some studio work but I was so wrong. The orchestra begins playing and she starts singing to us. I’m religious now… right here on the spot, I just converted. It’s absolutely divine, slow but extremely full of emotions, note after note after note after musical note…SHE LOOKED AT ME! Holy crap she just looked at me! I’m so hooked in her gaze I can’t look away. Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god! She looks away and my body slowly calms down; I stop shivering and my blood returns to normal temperature. My breathing also relaxes as I fall deeply and increasingly numb and my mind vacates thoughts again, subjugated by her…again.
She obviously wins the contest and officially receives the “Miss Universe” title. She had never lost a contest and had now won the biggest one of them all.
Heh, she had marvelled everyone everywhere and still no earthling was judging or participating or even liked this. What is it about us humans? How are we part of the rare few who can’t see their god given, glorious beauty? What is wrong with us? These are questions I’ve constantly been asking myself lately but I didn’t want to think about that, and with her smile I suddenly stop. I zoom in with my neuro-sunglasses to see her face. She didn’t have a nose but somehow that never bothered me. Her complexion, her eyes, her small but enigmatic smile, her hair, it was just so god damn perfect! From the start, it has always been perfect. She’s perfect.
“Backstage, room 34” echoes in my mind. I ignore it so it obviously echoes again, louder “Backstage, room 34”. I decide it’s my instinct and instantly move out. It pained me to miss the next 5 seconds of her smiling but something compelled me to go. The phrase was a voice so sweet and happy; I recognized it but couldn’t really tell where I had heard it…like a déjà vu. I thought I would have to find a way pass the gorillas guarding the place but they say I’m cleared. I move on through the halls while all the normal people leave for the docks to go back to their planets.
“I’m a damned fool.” I keep repeating that over and over again on my head until I finally saw the door room with the number “34” and some strange characters on it, like a name. I open the door and see someone sitting in a chair, back turned to me, doing something with her hair. Honestly, it doesn’t matter what part she shows me, I know who she is…I freeze on the spot “I got the wrong room, oh no! C’mon legs, run damn you!”. She turns to me and smiles, widely of contentment greeting me:
“Jakino?! It is you isn’t it?” She asks innocently and I’d say excited but I think I’m dreaming so…I just stare at her, mind blank and absolutely terrified. She smiles embarrassed and looks down grabbing her hands, she waits for a minute and then asks.
“I know it’s you…it’s got to be you. I saw you in the crowd and sent the telepathic message. I wasn’t sure that it was you but…I know it’s you.”
My guts almost explode as I speak her name and see her smile ever more gladly. What is going on? She just turned miss universe and she’s all embarrassed with me and stuff, what am I doing here anyways?
“You know how to pronounce my name. I think you’re one of the very rare few who can, excluding my species. Close the door please.”
I close the door but don’t move; my legs were still paralysed and I feel like I’m going to go into a coma, so nervous that I am.
“The letter you thought me…it’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done.” She smiles again and I swear it’s a better smile than the one she gave her judges. “I have…been going through a difficult time. I was going to drop out and give up. I was reading my mail to find more reasons too. But then I saw yours…it was like you were in my mind, in my life but with a better understanding of everything.”
I remain silent as she complements my actions, me; I keep thinking this couldn’t be real. I had more chances of surviving a supernova than being here, listening to this. It just couldn’t be…
“ ‘Why must the search for perfection be condemned? Why must extraordinary people feel oppressed again and again?’ You thought this and everything else. You made me feel special.” She carries on, too embarrassed to look in my eyes. SHE, she’s embarrassed by my presence! I can’t even talk yet… “You made me feel unique, you made me feel perfect… and I wanted to thank you.”
“Trust me…if I helped you…that’s good enough...” I murmur hesitantly and scared but she hears me and moves forward hugging me. She was about my height, which is tall in her species. When she hugs me, it was like…nah, there are no words. There is no word in the English vocabulary to express what I feel right now. Imagine an existent immortal conscience trapped in nothing forever; now imagine it suddenly witnesses the beginning of the universe; that’s how I feel.
I feel her soft hair on my face, her warm skin on my frail one. She backs off and kisses my steaming forehead, giggling afterwards:
“You really love me…?” She asks me with a joyful tone.
I nod weakly and ashamed as I hear her say:
“Thank you so much. All of humanity seems to only notice themselves. But you reached out for the stars, for beauty…and chose me. We will never see each other again but know that even if briefly, you touched and changed my life.” She kisses me in the mouth.
Quickly and swiftly she touches my lips with hers and retrieves them in a kind and lovable gesture of gratitude and appreciation…of course it seemed like a whole millennium to me.
“I will never forget you” she says.
“I…I…I will always remember you.” I leave the scene with that phrase, closing the door behind me. I grab my chest and memorise the kiss. That sweet little thing she gave out of adoration and touched me so much. I smile in true and pure happiness…I will never stop smiling; I will die smiling. I’m so happy…