[Burning Inside]: 233.Short Stories.Party Night (Mature Only)

Rating: 0.70  
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Created:
2008-07-17 08:44:57
 
Keywords:
First I only want to say, if you are not Mature, or feel you are Mature enough to read a story containing sex, and oral, then do not continue.
If you feel you are then be my guest and continue

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I sat on the bed, almost sinking into the soft mattress. The twilight evening sky seeping in through the window onto my bare chest. The night sky, covering everything below my waste making it impossible to see anything there if you hasn't acquired your night eyes yet, my black silk boxers were still on hiding underneath the shadows.


She emerged from the bathroom as light shimmered in all I could see was her sillouhette. Even as a sillouhette she was more than amazing, her perfect curves. Her hand moved down the bathroom wall and to her side, as it turned off the light. I couldn't see where she was I could only imagine she was gracefully walking towards me. Suddenly I felt her crawling up the bed getting closer to me to me, as her lips gently kissed my stomach, and again right above my nipple. I could feel her nipples rub against my stomach as she moved further up, unable to tell if she did it on purpose or not.


Right before she made it up to my mouth I regained my night eyes. I could see her lucious lips, as they locked with mine. Her kiss, ever so soft and gently, placed perfectly upon my lips, as her hand ran down my chest. My tongue quickly made its way into her mouth, our tongues wrestling.


Rolling her over, I moved my hand down expecting to find a shirt, but I found nothing but a lace bra. Continue to kiss her I moved my other hand around to her back undoing her bra with a snap of my fingers. I began to massage where her bra straps had once sat breaking the kiss. Moving down slightly, I started to kiss her breast, using my tongue to swirl around her nipple, while massaging the other breast at the same time. I only assumed she enjoyed this from the slight moans I heard and how she bite her lip.


Abruptly as though it wasn't even thought about in my mind, my hand moved into her thong (more lace) and started rubbing her clit continuing to swirl my tongue around her nipple as it hardened in my mouth. Her moaning got substantially louder as rubbed faster. I stopped kissing her breast, the moaning didn't get any quieter, as I moved to kiss her neck, nibbling inbetween every few kisses.


My fingers continued to rub her delicate pussy, as one finger slowly pushed its way in, rubbing around the inside. Moving from her neck back to her mouth, I gave her a kiss with plenty of tongue, as she had gone from a soft kiss to a rough kiss instantly, seeming to get rougher the more pleased she was.


Rolling me over, almost as if we were wrestling, she pushed me to being on the bottom, and pulled my hand out of her underwear that barely stayed on. I moved my onto her back, scratching her slightly.


She gave me another kiss, before pulling down my boxers. I was already hard, and she was pleased with my size. My boxers sat below my knees, as her hand slowly, teasingly moved up my leg, stopping just prior to my cock. My head slid back hating the teasing yet loving it at the same time.


She kissed me again, although this time it was on a different head. Right after he lips retreated her hand moved up my genitalia, then slowly moved back down, with a slight twist of the hand in each movement. Over and over, her hand moved up and down my cock, until suddenly she stopped. Again she was teasing me, I looked down at her, as her eyes glistened to mine, a smile on her mouth, exposing her white teeth.


Her eyes closed as he head moved down slightly, and her tongue emerged from those lips. Licking from the ball sack to the tip. It was amazing, right when she reached the top her mouth opened up sliding my cock inbetween her freshly opened lips, moving down and up just like her hand, which was also doing the same thing one step ahead of her mouth. Her tongue swirling around as much of my cock as it could. Three amazing things to do with me, and she managed to do them all at the same time. Several times going up and down, till her mouth left my head.


A kiss to my stomach as she moved back to my mouth, a slight peck on the lips was all she gave me, before she sat up removing her thong Letting it fall to the ground.


"I want you" she whispered in my ear as she saddled me. "I want you now"


As she said this, her wet pussy slid onto my cock. Slowly moving down a few inches the first time than taking more the next try. Immediatly after she sped up, going faster each time.


I rolled her over again, forcing my way onto the top again. Kissing her all over, starting with her breast working to her neck, and then her cheek, then another deep kiss in her mouth, swirling my tongue around inside her mouth playing with her tongue.


Her head slid back, as she bit her lip once more, the moaning returning louder than before. Picking up speed I began to give it to her harder, ramming my cock inside of her. Her body slid up to the top of the bed, as I moved with her. Now not even biting her lip, the moaning came out as loud as possible.


"Oh god yes!" she repeated over and over again, "Harder!"


As she moaned and begged I began ramming my cock deep inside of her pussy as hard as I could. Amazingly her moaning managed to get even loader. I was surprised the neighbors hadn't woken up.


"I'm gunna....cum" the words barely making it out of my mouth as the pleasure wanted no words to escape.


I pulled out as she moved back down, beginning to suck on my cock once again. This time no measures for extremely pleasure were needed, as I was already almost done.


I couldn't hold it any longer, cum flew out hitting the back of her throat as she swallowed all of it, even the bit the drizzled onto her lip. She slid her head down my cock one last time guaranteeing that she got ever bit of cum off of me.


She started to move to go get dressed again but I stopped her before she could get off the bed.
"Wait, theres still one thing left"


Confused she waited, wondering what it was since I had already finished all I could handle at the moment. But she laid back onto the bed with a smile on her face.


Another kiss to her immaculate lips, before I moved down her body. Kissing her neck, then her breast, her stomach, and finally her pussy.


My fingers moved up from the bottom of her leg as I continued to kiss her delicate lips, not yet adding any tongue. My hand made there way to her pussy, one finger parting her lips, another rubbing the inside of her clit. Now the tongue came out, but was concealed as it moved around her pussy from side to side, up and down, in and out. All the while my fingers continued to massage her, until slowly two made it inside of her pussy. With quick speed moving in and out, as I continued to lick her.


The moaning was loud again, almost as loud as when I had my cock inside of her, and again she was screaming, "Oh god yes! yes!" over and over for the next minute as I continued, till finally she too started to cum.


It slowly oozed out, and I licked it all up.


"There now wasn't that worth..." My words were cut off as she kissed me, harder, and more passionate then ever before.


"That...was amazing"


Her words were all that were said for the rest of the night, as we slowly drifted off to sleep. I gave her another kiss before falling asleep with her in my arms.

2006-08-05 ShadowPhyra: wow and i mean WOW! i have nothing else to say...read mine!!!

2006-08-16 Emily: "I could her lucious lips, as the locked with mine. " I could see her lucious lips as they locked with mine. No comma needed, and a little spelling error.

"...but finding nothing but a bra. A lace one infact." In fact is two words.

"Continue to kiss you my second hand moved around to her back undoing her bra with my fingers. Removing her bra I began to massage it while breaking the kiss. Moving down slightly, I started to kiss her breast, using my tongue to swirl around her nipple, while massaging the other breast at the same time. I only assumed she enjoyed this from the slight moans I heard and how she bite her lip." This paragraph sounds a little rusted. Might want to merge some of those sentences together and extend your vocabulary -- it may make it run a lot smoother. And you switch from third person to second person (go from using "her" to "you"). Make sure you take that into account.

"Abruptly as though it wasn't even thought about in my mind, my hand moved into her thong (more lace) and started rub her..." I don't quite agree with the word choice or sentence structure here. It sounds like someone had walked in unexpectedly, but it wasn't anything unpleasant like that. I'd make it sound more like, "My hand moved to the lacy thong she wore, sliding along her leg to cup her ass and squeeze before moving back to rub her..." Not so surprisey.

The rest of it is very good, though very rushed. I think when writing erotica it should be slow and delicate, not quick and fast paced, even if that's what the two lover's are doing/intending to do.

The biggest suggestion, though, aside of slowing it down, is deciding on word choice.

For example, the penis. If you're writing very dirty erotica, you're going to be using words like "dick" and "cock". If you're writing more romantic erotica, words like "phallus" or "manhood" will be used. My advice is use one or the other.

Also, I hate the word "pussy". it's always seemed vulgar to me, so I never use it in my writings. I use "womanly gem," "womanhood", among things like that.

When writing erotica, it isn't WHAT you write... it's HOW you write it. Dabble along in different scenes of erotica and use a variety of vocbulary. It's very refreshing at times.

Otherwise, well done. Edit! Edit! Edit!

2006-08-25 Emily: By the way, I rated this story as a five.


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