2006-03-01 Winkx: Oh, my GAWD this was cool Jenn. I like the sound of this clock....*doin 2006-03-01 ~*Lonely Wanderer*~: *glares* i only want critique here tara not idol chat 2010-12-14 Annie: You do a good job of creating a somewhat mystical universe out of realistic situations/cha[~*Lonely Wanderer*~]: 264.Crimson Time
Rating: 0.75
Watching and waiting
Stories unfold
And others debating
Their life in their hands
And mine as well
So should they decide
If I sit here in mortal peril
The decision is mine
Watch the crimson clock chime
‘Tis three in the morn’
And all should sleep
But here I stand
White as a sheet
I’m tired and pale
I feel too alone
I need somewhere else
Somewhere to call home
I feel like a failure
My thoughts are full of dread
So while I stand here contemplating
Oh how it makes me sad
Yet when I’m finally through
All this madness that I drew
Surround me in a circle and add 666
Watch another crimson tear fall from a clock that goes
‘tick tick tick’
You might try writing some poetry without rhyme, you tend to let the rhyme drive/control your poems, which can be distracting for the reader.