[~*Lonely Wanderer*~]: 264.Crimson Time

Rating: 0.75  
Uploaded by:
Created:
2006-01-21 02:53:20
Keywords:
This is about a clock yay for random stuff...
Poem/depression/Was written when I was down
Genre:
Childrens
Style:
poetry
While I sit here
Watching and waiting
Stories unfold
And others debating
Their life in their hands
And mine as well
So should they decide
If I sit here in mortal peril
The decision is mine
Watch the crimson clock chime
‘Tis three in the morn’
And all should sleep
But here I stand
White as a sheet
I’m tired and pale
I feel too alone
I need somewhere else
Somewhere to call home
I feel like a failure
My thoughts are full of dread
So while I stand here contemplating
Oh how it makes me sad
Yet when I’m finally through
All this madness that I drew
Surround me in a circle and add 666
Watch another crimson tear fall from a clock that goes
‘tick tick tick’

2006-03-01 Winkx: Oh, my GAWD this was cool Jenn. I like the sound of this clock....*doing the Tara is confused face* HEY! Where can I buy one?!

2006-03-01 ~*Lonely Wanderer*~: *glares* i only want critique here tara not idol chat

2010-12-14 Annie: You do a good job of creating a somewhat mystical universe out of realistic situations/characters. The last two lines are nice, "Watch another crimson tear fall from a clock that goes / ‘tick tick tick’," I like the onomatopoeia.
You might try writing some poetry without rhyme, you tend to let the rhyme drive/control your poems, which can be distracting for the reader.


News about Writersco
Help - How does Writersco work?