[shadow in the midst]: 279.storey

The moonlight was darkened the thick clouds that hung overhead. Stars were invisible all around the complete black in the sky and you could hear the blanket of quiet misery fall to the ground. Covering me blindly. I walked to the door to face my biggest mistake. She never deserved what I had to do, but I didnt realize that. Not that I would have cared. I'm sorry... I had to.

Those first few steps seemed to take forever to surpass as I slowly gained my heart back, the racing blood pumping through my mind and my fists. I couldn't take the haunting anymore. The thoughts she forced onto me. She was my misery, my darkness and I wasn't about to give up all that I had to her power.

Thoughts werent even accessible, my mind had no control. My body trembling with rage... with emotions that scare me to think of. I was never one to be like this. The last few stairs made their way and my legs were numb from my mind but I had not feared falling down the stairs. Perhaps then they wouldnt have thought so innocent of her. But I couldn't think that. I couldn't think anything, but the image of her... and him.

Tears squeezed out at the edge of my eyes. I forced them back by the handle of the blade I paced myself for knocking... the calling of her death. She opened the door, like she had more than me. Like she was better. Her eyes taunted me as my knuckles on my left hand had gotten red and swollen from the grip of my fist. My right ready for action. She couldn't have been able to tell what I had done that night, after all... I always was so nice to her. How could she have known...

The rest is all details... things I'd rather not recall. We all have things we regret, but this was one I don't feel the guilt of. Sometimes that is the worst thing of all and yet I still can't understand why I dont feel guilty. I try to talk it into myself... but for some reason it seems that what I did was justified, that she should have known it was coming. After all... she was there. Always. She always had to show herself to me, show what she had more than me. What she could take away from me. What she had taken away from me. My life, my mind, all control I ever had was lost... and the only thing I regret is getting rid of that body before I could show her how good my life is without her... without pain.