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2008-07-18 Ash: There's a lot of confusion in this poem, from wording that completely off sets what you mean to spelling errors and no sign of grammar. Most of the confusion in wording can be solved by comas or semi-colons. I'd hate to say re-write this, but it does need plastic surgery. Simply adding grammar will improve this work tremendously.[Eloura]: 341.Touching Poems.Unlisted
Rating: 0.25 Uploaded by: Created: 2008-02-25 13:20:20Previous:Keywords: I wonder with a starry gaze
true songs fill the haze
i sit upon the broken ground
and wonder all away around
The nearest thought
that hits my head
was to wonder
if you where dead
It scared me true
and so very deep
when your gone
for a week
Then the call came
as did the pain
they said you
were in a wreck
i cried and screamed
and nearly broke
i couldn't believe it
the one i love
It was over they said
as they called again
you where gone
dead
i never meet you,
will never again...
So soon in heaven
i will join
you soft sweet angel
ever loving care.
(no this hasn't happened but something i'm afraid of...)
5/9, please fix and let me know, I'd hate to rate you this low El.