[Veltzeh]: 39.PlanetSide: Tzhagane.Chapter 5: Minding

     After a few days, Kale was back to normal again even though ey did keep in mind all the things ey and Geariyo had said and thought them further. Kale truly had not wanted to live in the center of the world, but ey had thought that ey must, no matter what, never giving much deeper thought to it.
     The small discussion of an argument had made Kale and Geariyo more understanding of each other, but it had also added some tension between them. Theri and Zhaanno, having dealt with their problems in their relationship, tried to help the two and repeatedly failed. Of course they did not first even suspect that Kale could commit emself to any sort of voluntary social activity, but it eventually became more and more clear even if Kale emself never even realized it as ey had actually been trying to avoid the issue ending up that way. Theri eventually stopped trying by finally saying: "You can't know water without having swum and you can't know fire without having been burned. Burn." Kale and Geariyo merely stared back with a blank gaze in their eyes. Of course, Theri was the only one of the four who had swam, had burned and had lost a relationship with another.
     Kale and Geariyo talked to each other somewhat, but Theri always thought they barely changed a word. Eventually they still ran out of things to say, even if they did talk about Geariyo's education regularly. During the several days, Geariyo decided to go for the easiest alternative and become a geologist. The two often lay sleepless in Kale's room, feeling inconvenient and anxious, not being used to sleeping long times with another person present. Kale nearly always lay on eir bed which was hung from the ceiling by chains and had web to hold eir wings. Geariyo lay on the floor right below Kale as there was no other space to sleep in.
     One night Kale noticed Geariyo getting up, walking about and then stopping at the window to look outside. Kale was tired and eir brain function not exactly optimal in addition to the fact that Geariyo was thinking rather extensively, resulting in em not noticing that Kale was half-observing em.
     After about an hour of walking around and doing some things, Geariyo stopp ed once again by the window and managed to notice that Kale was awake. Ey turned to look at em and blushed, having done some rather private things during the passed hour and realizing that Kale had probably been awake all the time.
     Kale did not mind what all Geariyo had done and ey disliked discussing even remotely embarrassing things.
     "Do ya miss home?" asked Kale quietly.
     Geariyo leaned halfway out the window and did not look at Kale. "Yes."
     "As soon as they get the boulder in your parent's mine exposed, we'll go back an' try to get it out."
     "I don't especially want to go back though."
     "You just said ya miss home."
     "I do."
     "But... that doesn't make sense."
     "You've never really left home, have you?"
     "No."
     "There. Don't try to make sense of it until you've experienced it or can imagine it so that it does make sense."
     Kale did not reply. It was not eir issue, ey knew ey was lacking proper information and experience and the issue was uninteresting. Instead, ey changed to a more interesting issue. "Would you like to make love to me?"
     Geariyo coughed and moved some body parts slightly. "What?"
     "Would you like to make love to me?"
     Geariyo said nothing, but after a while ey pulled back from the window and faced Kale, standing some distance away from em. "I thought ye denied we were in a 'relationship' of sorts when Theri tried to make fun of it."
     "That's right. I think that way and I will think that way tomorrow. I can't know if I'm wrong because nobody gives me a clear definition of a 'relationship', but as far as I'm concerned, it's free to not exist."
     Geariyo did not even flinch or look confused. Ey still had the blush on eir face, and even though ey gave out a confident image, ey was uncertain. Fortunately ey was also nonchalant enough to not care too much about that. "Have you made love to anyone else before?"
     "No... unless you count the times when Theri has tried to... an' a couple of times when I've been fooled by other people to make out."
     Geariyo was quiet.
     "Have you?"
     "No, but I was almost raped."
     Kale raised eir eyebrows at this; rape was a very rare crime.
     "It wasn't very serious either way."
     "What happened?"
     "I was young and my parent had a new partner who didn't like kids. Eir name was Deiki. I have a way of annoying people and being good at it, but I suppose that is rather clear... Even if you and Zhaanno don't prove that theory, Theri does." Geariyo stopped for a moment.
     "I don't find you annoying."
     "Do you understand how I make Theri annoyed?"
     "Yes."
     Geariyo was again quiet for a short moment. "Well, after being three days with me and my younger siblings, Deiki flipped out at me, hit me, humiliated me and almost raped me. I suppose ey didn't want to, but I annoyed em more and ey hadn't had a partner for three days, so ey went at it. Ey stopped when ey heard my parent coming in, and after a bit of hesitation ey went away." Again a pause followed.
     "Is that where your scars come from?"
     "No. Well, a few." Geariyo looked out through the window. "My parent told me Deiki had explained it. Ey told Deiki to leave because ey didn't want us to feel unsafe."
     "Ey wasn't punished for doing that?"
     "No."
     "Why?"
     "I wasn't really hurt and I know I had made em do it. We didn't even tell anyone." Geariyo stopped speaking.
     Kale did not say anything for a long time, during which Geariyo continued looking out through the window and Kale kept on looking at either Geariyo or what little ey could see in the window.
     "Will you make love to me?" asked Kale again finally.
     Geariyo slowly turned to Kale. Ey was thinking a lot about many things and seemed expressionless. Finally ey said: "I suppose I could."
     Since Geariyo did not move, Kale got up and moved to stand before em. They stood there, hesitating and anxious for a while before finally getting into hugging and beyond.

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© by V. E. "Veltzeh" Lehkonen