[Veltzeh]: 39.The Heritage of Humankind.Tales from Kyerrion.12

In the morning, Tegafel and Krezagon spent time together again. They ate, walked around and kissed. They were lying on a grassy patch on the ground when Tegafel saw a single little tent some distance away. Ey immediately thought that it might be Krezagon's, and said: "I'd like to see your tent."

Krezagon looked at Tegafel and looked amused. "My tent? There isn't anything special about it."

"I'd still like to see it."

"Well, if you want to." Ey got up, pulled Tegafel up as well and then helped the wacod walk. They went to the direction of the tent Tegafel had looked at. "It's not that one, though." They walked past the little tent and circled the captain's large tent. Krezagon's tent was some distance behind the captain's. It was big enough for two and though it had been repaired and stitched several times, it was still in fairly good condition.

Tegafel smiled. "Can I go in?"

"Yeah, you can."

Tegafel put down eir walking stick and crawled inside the tent. It smelled of Krezagon. There was not much anything there, only two blankets, one waterproof and one regular. Krezagon's backpack was stuffed at the back of the tent and it took a fairly lot of space on the other side of the tent.

Krezagon was on eir haunches and eyed Tegafel from the entrance. "Seen it yet?"

"I'd like to see you in it as well."

Krezagon grinned and they both knew that it meant they should do some more fondling, and this time more privately, since the infirmary tent was not exactly a private tent—anyone could come there, even if they were discouraged from doing that in order to let Tegafel rest by emself. However, Krezagon was slightly nervous about it since it was the first time in a long while that ey had been with anyone in a single tent. Ey crawled in and moved the backpack out of the way, after which the two lay there right next to each other.

They kissed, touched and petted each other. Krezagon felt fire inside emself and hoped that Tegafel would have sex with em. Ey felt Tegafel's genitals swell. Tegafel, then again, had only planned to have some fun and a little pleasure, but soon realized that ey was getting very much sexually excited, like ey had done with Roinynin.

Tegafel stopped rubbing emself against Krezagon and looked at em. Even though the tent was vaguely dark, Krezagon was fairly clearly blushed, and Tegafel interpreted that as embarrassment. Tegafel realized that eir own genitals were pressing against the ancod's crotch, but ey could not exactly move them since Krezagon was lying on top of em. Tegafel then just settled for an explanation and an apology since ey thought ey had gone too far. "Krezagon... I suppose I've changed since last time. I used to be scared of sexual stuff... but I got over that with Roinynin. I'm sorry that I went so far... that..."

Krezagon just smiled. Ey was too excited to take it very seriously. "Don't be. I don't mind one bit." They then lay there and the sexual excitement passed. Krezagon's mind cleared up a bit and figured out that Tegafel indeed was not reserved now, as ey had been before. Then ey figured that if Tegafel apologized for going too far, the wacod must have been ready to actually have sex and the reason why it had not happened was apparently because Tegafel thought Krezagon would not want it. "Uh, wait a minute... Tegafel... would you really... have had sex with me?"

Tegafel went a bit nervous. "I... uh... no, I... I wouldn't."

Krezagon was confusedly disappointed, but kept a neutral expression. "Well..." Krezagon was quiet for a moment. During that ey lay eir head down on Tegafel's shoulder. "I suppose it was too much to expect... but... if you change your mind..."

Now Tegafel went utterly confused. "Wait... uh, what?"

Krezagon lifted eir head again. "Huh?"

"You... Do you want me to... to have sex with you?"

One side of Krezagon's mouth twitched up and ey was about to exclaim an enthusiastic affirmation when ey realized that Tegafel really might not want to have sex with em at all. After all, ancods were sexless and Krezagon knew that one reason why Tegafel had wanted to stick around em was because ey would not try to hit on em or inquire about sex. Tegafel might have changed, but that did not mean that ey wanted to have sex with Krezagon now. Krezagon tried to think of something polite to say while trying to convey the message that if Tegafel did want to have sex, Krezagon would gladly submit to it. "If you change your mind about it. I don't want you to do it if you do neither, but if you do, I will, too."

"So... uh..." Tegafel could not come up with any way to be tactful now. "You... can do ...I mean, it's possible for you to have sex?"

Krezagon's face went quite sullen now as the harsh realization sunk in. Tegafel had been just like everyone else, thinking that it was impossible for an ancod to have sex, that ancods could not experience sexual pleasure! Krezagon got angry.

Tegafel, the again, noticed the sudden change and became anxious, even scared. Ey figured out why it had happened, too. Ey let go of Krezagon and moved eir hands in a way to be ready to push Krezagon off of emself if the ancod actually attacked, though ey thought that ey would not be able to do much to defend emself either way. "I'm sorry!" ey said, figuring that it was better not to try and explain unless Krezagon asked. "Please don't hurt me..."

Krezagon breathed angrily for a moment, but when Tegafel asked to not hurt em, Krezagon realized how ey must have seemed like, looming over em like that. Krezagon lowered emself and hugged Tegafel instead. Ey felt Tegafel breathe relievedly. "I... I suppose it was too much to expect. A long time ago, I thought I should have asked you whether you knew it, but I didn't want to, since you hated sex." Ey was quiet for a moment before raising eir head and looking at Tegafel again. A small smile lingered briefly on the ancod's face. "But... now you know. I can have sex as much as my body allows and I feel just as much sexual pleasure as you or anyone else does. I won't be able to perform actual intercourse or have children, but... even my genitals aren't completely ...useless." Krezagon despised saying that word, but it was what Tegafel had thought. Krezagon did not smile even one bit anymore.

Tegafel was teary-eyed. Ey felt terrible to have thought in the way ey did for so long. Ey petted Krezagon's sides with shaking hands and realized that on top of em was another sexual creature of flesh and blood like emself, someone who could feel sexual pleasure and who had obviously not expressed any of it because Tegafel had been so negative about it back then. More polemical was the fact that Krezagon must have felt that way for quite a long time. Ey had probably wanted to have sex with Tegafel the first time they kissed. However, Tegafel had hung around the ancod because ey felt so safe—ey had thought that an ancod would never ask em to have sex, would rarely discuss the issue and would accept Tegafel as ey was, or even expect Tegafel to be that way. Ey had thought that all the kissing and fondling had just been non-sexual pleasure and affection one felt or could feel due to the social and gregarious nature of femehans (and other Gomanians). Tegafel suddenly felt that eir world had turned upside-down. Ey had not been as "safe" as ey had thought—but then again, Krezagon had controlled emself and even managed to not make Tegafel suspect ey might have wanted sex. Ey had respected Tegafel's wishes and had performed their displays of affection in a way that had been comfortable to Tegafel. Tegafel was confused, but decided that it would be better to focus on what was at hand than to figure out what to make of the past. Ey stared into Krezagon's eyes and tears fell down the sides of eir face. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." Ey pulled the ancod down and hugged em again. "I'm... I'm stupid to have thought that way for so long..." Now Tegafel started feeling like ey should explain. "I... I was just taught that... No one would ever say otherwise and I... I couldn't prove it wrong... and I just didn't realize."

Krezagon was fairly good at controlling eir emotions. Ey just went: "Maybe it was better that you did think that. Now that I think of it, you felt so much at ease when you were with me and 'knew' that I would never ask sex from you. Of course I wouldn't have anyway... for as long as you wouldn't tell me otherwise." Krezagon also figured out that Tegafel might see it as betrayal. Stars know, Krezagon had wished so many times that Tegafel would have sex with em. "I'm... I'm sorry if I just shook up your memories."

"No, no... I don't mind. Don't be sorry. That was the past and the past will never change. My view of it might, but that's not important now." Tegafel tried to lift Krezagon to see eir face, and Krezagon raised emself. "I'm so sorry. If you... if you still want to have sex with me, I will, too."

A smile appeared on Krezagon's face again. "I do. But only if you honestly want it too and aren't just submitting to it because you know now that I want it too."

Tegafel was quiet for a while. Ey thought whether ey was just trying to make up for eir ignorance or if ey really wanted to do it. Ey figured that the sudden flow of blood to eir genitals answered the question for em, therefore pulling Krezagon's body against emself again and starting to kiss em and fondle eir body. They did not speak for a while and instead regained their excited states. They still had their clothes on and started to feel that they should lose them. They took only their trousers off since Tegafel had bandages across eir chest anyway. Krezagon could have taken eir shirt off, but did not, probably because the rag was so loose that Tegafel could just slip eir hands under it.

They rubbed their half-naked bodies against each other but were not in genital contact. Tegafel had mostly been fondling Krezagon's arms and back, so ey asked: "Where do you... like to be touched?"

Krezagon wiggled. "Touch me wherever you can reach." Krezagon was also touching Tegafel every now and then, but not much since ey had to use eir arms to keep falling off and adjust eir position. They started to get their genitals closer and fairly soon just went into a position where their crotches were pressed firmly against each other. Tegafel had no idea about how they would actually have sex, but after Krezagon had started moving and rubbing eir genitals against Tegafel's, ey knew that nothing except the rubbing was required. Krezagon was more or less straddling Tegafel and their torsos were not touching too much, so they rubbed each other's chests instead.

When they reached the climax of orgasm, Tegafel did so first and twitched silently, trying not to bend and stretch eir body so much because it was still wounded and hurting. Krezagon noticed it, but did not stop rubbing emself against Tegafel yet since ey was just about to come. Tegafel did something that ey had often done to Roinynin: ey stuffed one hand between their crotches, with eir palm upwards. Krezagon was just about to look down to see what on earth Tegafel was doing, but the wacod pressed eir fingers against Krezagon's genitals and applied much more pressure and friction than eir genitals had done. Krezagon twitched, bent, hit eir head on the top of the tent, bent back down, pressed eir crotch hard against Tegafel's hand and uttered quite suppressedly: "Aaahhhhh!" Ey kept on twitching for a while and did not let Tegafel withdraw the hand from eir crotch.

Tegafel could clearly feel what exactly the ancod had between eir legs, though to be honest, for the moment ey did not exactly think much of it since ey was enjoying the last spasms of eir orgasm and the way it had overridden eir aching and soreness. Krezagon's genitals felt mostly like what Tegafel imagined an anwacod's genitals to feel like, just without a gogenjin. It felt like mucous and skinny but blood-filled folds with two little throbbing nubs along the middle.

It did not take too long for them to flop down completely, after which they just lay there, listening to each other breathe and their hearts beating. Tegafel was a little confused why Krezagon was not breathing so heavily as ey and Roinynin had done, but ey did not care too much about that for the moment.

They lay there for several minutes, but Krezagon broke the silence and spoke without raising eir head: "I have... I have wished for this to happen ever since I was... since I was almost as old as you. I was eleven." Krezagon paused for a while and continued: "I was lonely and depressed. The other kids wouldn't have me near them just because I wasn't going to be fertile or... 'useful', ergh. I always hate to say it... So I sat there and watched them. I wasn't jealous though, I didn't really want that development thing happening to me. I didn't think having children was all there was to life. But I was sad because I was alone. So I thought maybe I should just kill myself." Krezagon fingered Tegafel's shoulder and seemed hesitant. "One night I stabbed myself in the chest, but it hurt too much and I couldn't even push it past my ribcage. I thought I was so ...useless that I couldn't even kill myself and stabbed myself on the arm instead. I cried because of the pain and because I thought I was... that I was just what the others said. After a while some middle-aged wacod who was staying in the camp came in and asked if ey could talk with me. I was really surprised and I wanted to talk but I didn't want em to see I was bleeding, but ey didn't wait, ey just came in. Ey tied up my wounds and talked with me a lot then. One of the things ey said to me was: 'The others always give the impression that ancods can't have pleasure from sexual interaction or that they're just overgrown kids. I'll tell you now that that's a load of groshje. You will grow up and be an adult and you can take as much pleasure from your body as anyone else and no one has the right to call it wrong. Maybe they can restrict who you can marry, but you can walone anyone you want and as long as it's mutual, no one should tell you that it's wrong or force you apart. I hear it's even acceptable for ancods to stick together that way, but there aren't too many of you, like there aren't many of us wacods...' That's what ey said an' after that I didn't really think of killing myself again. By saying that, that wacod saved my life and gave me enough strength to come all this way. I just hoped I would find someone who cared enough about me." Krezagon paused again and lifted eir head, looking straight at Tegafel, with wishful eyes gleaming in the fairly dim indirect light of the tent. "And I have. I've finally found you!" Tears fell from Krezagon's eyes and ey was undescriptively happy.

Tegafel just absorbed what Krezagon said and was genuinely glad for both Krezagon and emself. Ey felt so good that ey did not even have one single negative doubt about eir role in Krezagon's personal goal in life; not even the memory of Roinynin came in between. Ey was content and stroked Krezagon's back with eir hands.

After a while, they regained some energy and cuddled and touched each other, smiling, and said some small insignificant and funny things. Tegafel was still sweaty all over, but Krezagon seemed almost fairly dry. Even eir blush had went away while Tegafel was still very much blushed, though it could not be distinguished from the wacod's dark skin.

Tegafel got a little more serious. "Have you done this before much?"

"Heh, Tegafel, silly you." Krezagon kissed the wacod. "I had never. With anyone else, I mean. Of course I had to try it myself right then when I was eleven... and I've done that ever since."

Tegafel smiled slightly surprisedly. Ey had never even thought about the possibility of masturbation, mostly because ey had thought ey would never have sex and when ey finally did, ey had no need to perform it alone and only on emself. However, now that ey imagined it, it did make sense. "How come you're so... not sweaty?" ey said with a grin. "You weren't even out of breath. And you moved yourself so much, I wouldn't have been able to do that!"

Krezagon just smiled. "Well, I am in good condition... It takes a lot more than great sex to get me out of breath."

They rolled around a bit and continued fondling and talking to each other about small things.



Eventually Krezagon and Tegafel stopped playing around with each other, exited the tent and walked around. They had lunch and spent some time in the infirmary tent, reading the book about plants. They went back to Krezagon's tent and spent some more time touching each other.

At some point, Krezagon was lying on top of Tegafel and heard footsteps close by. Ey immediately stopped fondling Tegafel and listened, so Tegafel did the same and heard the footsteps which were coming closer. Krezagon started getting off of Tegafel, but there was little space in the tent and the medic poked eir head in before the two could move apart. Krezagon glared at em with eir face blushed. Tegafel turned eir face up to look at Fronel who looked astonishedly confused. Ey stared at the two for several seconds, but then just let the cover-door of the tent close and got up.

"Your bandages should be changed, Tegafel," ey then stated.

Tegafel said nothing, but ey and Krezagon got up and exited the tent. They were quiet and the three of them started walking toward the infirmary tent. Krezagon walked behind the two others.

"I'm going to regret this..." mumbled Fronel and was careful not to look at either Krezagon or Tegafel, who both glanced at the medic. "Should I ask what on earth you were doing in there?"

Krezagon raised eir eyebrows. Tegafel grinned with half eir mouth and said, slightly smirkily: "Is displaying a little affection between friends so unthinkable?"

Fronel looked forward, shook eir head a bit to emself and was quiet. They went to the infirmary tent and changed Tegafel's bandages while being inconveniently silent.

After the changing was done, Fronel said to Krezagon: "Take the used ones to the trash piles."

Krezagon complied without argument and gathered the used bandages to take them outside. Tegafel was slightly miffed, and after Krezagon had went, ey said: "I'd rather appreciate if you were at least polite to em."

"Oh, insubordination now? You don't have much clout over me, do you, SOLDIER?"

Tegafel was nervous. Ey did not know when ey had crossed the line. "I'm sorry, sonige." After a while, ey added: "I was just... well... you are nicer to me."

"You're wounded... It's my job to heal you."

Tegafel realized ey had not chosen eir words very well. The medic treated em fairly kindly, other people normally and Krezagon with disdain. Ey thought it would be too much to correct emself now. Of course ey did not know that the option ey proceeded to use was just about as bad. "I just... ey's my friend. I'd like to see em treated a bit better..."

"If you want your 'friends' treated better, maybe you should choose your friends based on that."

Tegafel stared at Fronel somewhat angrily. "Ey doesn't deserve treatment like that..."

"Well, ey sure didn't seem to mind."

"Have you asked em, sonige?"

"Hmph, ey'll either say it's fine or make some lousy excuse and whine about how sucky eir life is or something." Tegafel was quiet. Ey knew Krezagon did not like to be treated badly, but if Fronel asked about it, it would be very easy to go to the side of whining. Fronel saw Tegafel's troubled face and smirked to emself. Krezagon came back in and Fronel turned at em and asked eir question: "Tegafel here thought that I treat you too badly. Well, is that really the case? Do you mind my commands, ancod?"

Krezagon was caught fairly speechless, but Fronel waited, with a relatively triumphant smirk on eir face. Eventually, Krezagon went: "May I speak frankly without fear of repercussions, sonige?"

"Yeah, you may, as long as you don't get physically or verbally abusive."

Krezagon breathed in deeply and began: "Yes, I do in fact mind. While I'm glad you don't treat me as badly as Derekl, I would expect some respect toward myself from you. I'd expect it from anyone. People should treat me like the fellow soldier I am and not like a personal slave or a prisoner." Krezagon managed to say it in a way that made it sound like an objective expression of facts and not a bit like a personal whine.

Fronel was quiet. Ey looked at the ancod somewhat angrily. "And that's all?"

"I assumed you wanted to hear the truth without personal bias, which is what I've told."

"So what about your personal opinions?"

Krezagon was quiet for a short moment, but then went: "I'm afraid because I can't bring up these grievances without fear of execution. I'm angry and depressed that I have to suffer being ignored, inconvenienced, treated like a slave, thrown around, dismissed, held to higher standards, having no hope of advancement and being tortured for no reason at all. I'm lonely because I have to stay separate from the other soldiers because they've been taught to hate ancods. I'm forlorn because life is very unlikely to be any better elsewhere, even if I could nullify my lifetime contract."

Fronel glared at Krezagon and said: "Get out!" It sounded surprisingly civil. Krezagon stepped outside without hesitation and stopped at the corner of the tent. Fronel looked at Tegafel in a way that unmistakably conveyed the message that ey wanted the wacod to be gone as well. Tegafel wasted no time and pulled on eir shirt and started walking outside. However, before ey went out, ey asked:

"Is it okay if I sleep in Krezagon's tent, sonige?"

"What do I care where you sleep? That bed there will be free for you to use for as long as you're hurt and there's no one who needs it more. Just be here at this time after dinner to get your bloody bandages changed."

Tegafel left. Ey and Krezagon walked toward the food distribution place. The dinner serving was almost over but they managed to get some of the last portions and sat to eat.

"Krezagon, what you said to the medic sounded... well, good. Did you actually practice saying something like that?" asked Tegafel with a bit of a grin.

Krezagon was expressionless. "I've lived alone. I've had a lot of time to think. I don't think I ever said it out loud, though."

"I practiced my going-to-the-army speech a lot before I walked up there and did it." Krezagon did not react. "Did you hear what I asked em last? ... Is it okay if I sleep with you?"

Krezagon was quiet for a moment. Ey looked up from eir food. "Yes. I'd walone it if you slept with me. I've never slept with anyone before, not even when I was a kid, as far as I remember. Not even when it was freezing cold. So I feel nervous about it."

Tegafel smiled. "There isn't anything that special to it."

The two finished eating and spent the evening getting back their good moods. By the time they had had their evening snacks and went to bed, they were carelessly happy again. They rolled around on Krezagon's bed and kissed and fondled each other. This time they took all their clothes off, looked at each other in candlelight and had some more sex. Tegafel fell happily asleep while Krezagon stayed up for a little longer, being nervous and all. Ey thought about things and what would follow now, but decided that ey would think about them later or then just see them come. Ey too fell asleep.