[Child of God]: 416.Novels.The Messenger.Chapter 2

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Created:
2006-04-06 00:01:50
 
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Genre:
Biographical
Style:
novel
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Free for reading
She heard the sounds before anything else. Then the pain came. It felt as though she had been hit with a transport truck, put through a meat grinder then put back together again. Something sticky had been placed over her mouth, what see assumed to be tape and she had lost most feeling in her hands. Her bag remained on her back though. She figured they were either going to kill her anyway, or else they creature didn’t know how to take it off. Or maybe both.

As her hearing began to improve, Kassandra heard strange voices speaking in the same foreign language the creature used earlier. Dry, low and angry, she guessed by their tones that they were arguing about something. Slowly, she opened her eyes and looked around; she was lying on the ground. There was no grass, only dirt, and the pine trees around them were all dead. The sky was bleak and grey, without color. Almost like just before a rain, minus the clouds. Two huge mountains stood off in the distance, their peaks covered in snow. No birds, no flowers, no sign of life anywhere save from the direction in which the voices came.

‘Where am I?’ she asked herself. ‘Or do I really want to know?’

Slowly, she looked cautiously in the direction the voices were coming from. There were two men standing about fifty paces away; the closest one to her was short and round, with a large bald spot on the top of his head and clothes that looked as though they had been soiled on more than one occasion. Judging by his height, Kassandra guessed this to be her kidnapper. The other was taller, maybe six-foot or so, and had dark hair. A black cape of some sort covered him from shoulder to ankle. Wincing as their rising voices echoed in her head, to her surprise she found that she could understand some of what they were saying.

“Glorma lena . . . two thousand horkja . . .” came the sneaky, weasel of a voice from the short one. “Ba jay saynola very rare shenata quire!”
“Nayta! Seta ip five hundred horkja! Jawn qull le twy Azure, Fireone twee Aquatin. We agreed on five hundred!” came the other’s angry reply.

As she listened, realization dawned on her. Her fear and amazement kept growing as did the men’s voices. In a matter of seconds, she could understand what they were saying, the only difference to her own language being a slight accent.
“I will pay one thousand pieces of gold for her, no more.” The tall one finished angrily.
“Fine.”

‘I’m being sold! This is nuts! I’ve gotta get outta here or wake up! One or the other!’

Kassandra tried desperately to move, but found she was still bound not only by her wrists but also her feet. Slowly, she tried pushing herself into a sitting position when a wave of dizziness overtook her and forced her back down. As she landed back on the ground, a dead twig snapped loudly beneath her. She held her breath as the two men stopped arguing to listen. The tall one quickly glanced at her with a cold look she could see through her closed eyes, but she remained still pretending to still be unconscious. When she felt his glare had gone, she risked opening them slightly again.

“Ya hear that too didn’t ya?” the short one asked.

2006-05-10 Shh: Good story!! It's really interesting. :P The descriptions are good and so far the dialogue isn't bad either. I especially loved when she first sees the creature. You made it seem so real! :D

The only problem I found was the beggining of the first chapter. The language seemed stilted, poor even...Sorry, I have to be honest. :P The only reason I kept reading was because I had nothing else to do, if I'd been leafing through the book in a library, however, I would not have taken the book--which would have been unfortunate since the story turns out to be great!!

2006-05-11 Child of God: Thanks for pointing that out. How do you suggest it be improved?


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