[bloody kisses]: 558.Contest Entries.FTLOL June '07 - Was It Once?

In middle school at Burkburnett, Texas, one of my best friends in sixth grade started dating a saxophone player. This wasn’t odd of course, for both of us were clarinets, but he was very anti-social and rude. She instantly fell for him, through all the yelling, fighting, accusing, and the things he said to all of her friends – such as, I became “freak,” “faggot,” and “whore.”

Now, they fought a lot, but also constantly talked. Later in seventh grade she had to move to Electra, which was a mere 15 minutes away, but Austin decided that Renea was cheating on him. About a month and a half later, you’d never guess who asked Krystal, who asked Miranda to ask me out; even though in band class he sat right behind me.

But even before this, for about four months I pretended to like his best friend, because I, of course, had nothing better to do with my time. Honestly our relationship went like this:

[First Month] – Confession of computer porn; I stalked at his pretty eyes.

[Second Month] – He irritated the hell out of me; I adored his pretty eyes.

[Third Month] – Confession of computer porn once more; his eyes grew cold and irritating.

[Fourth Month] – I couldn’t wait to break up with him! But made myself let him do the honor… just for his self esteem.

He feared me, so of course, he sent the three pussies to break up with me. Scott, David, and Micro Mini Man. Scott was a huge pussy who hid behind David, David always cried when he got one note wrong in band class, and Micro Mini Man was just…short. They kept fighting on who would tell me because, all of them feared me. Hah! I miss that. Then about three months later, there was Austin.

My first intentions with Austin were to play with him as well, to get back for Renea. Actually, I’d been thinking about asking him out for the exact reason. But his timing was so off, for I was going to be moving in one and a half months. Time lead on, he ‘loved’ me, I began to think I felt the same.

Of course, me living in North Carolina, that was a long distance relationship. Which sucked because I thought I loved him, I wrote so much poetry about love and long distance romance that I began to feel empty, barren, and alone no matter what. But when I’d hear his voice…everything drifted into a distance. Like when we first moved here and the mover broke my back up floppy disk with all my writing, and it turned out the hard drive broke, so all of my writing was gone; half of a novel, various poems, haikus, and anything else that had entered mind at the time. That day, I called him – accidentally woke him up… - and he made it all better. But, even with all that, the instant I hit the talk button, I felt all alone again.

This went on for a couple days short of a year, and then I decided that he could do better. Curse my mental math; it is such horrible in situations such as. That night there was a promise that we could stay friends, that we should other people, and within all that, a lot of silence.

Then I wrote a lot about lost love. And this was the time that I cursed so much in my blog about an incompetent prick. Much into thinking about the situation, he started dating Emily – a really cool flute player – and we still talked for about…a week? Then his racial and stereotypical comments I’d always never fought with him about because I thought I myself needed him chimed in once more.

I was reading [PheonixV]’s poetry one afternoon when he called, locked out of his house and bored. I began reading some lines, and Austin decided he was Emo and didn’t want to hear any more of it.

Quote: [Emos are just like gays, no one wants them around except for unwanted fashion advice.] 

I hung up on him.

Later on he called me again, and decided I was boring him so he hung up on me. I will never call him again, and if he calls my mom will answer and tell him to piss off; in the nice way she has of course.

But now thinking into it, he was my line to Texas, that’s why I thought I needed him. That’s why I thought and thought and thought that I loved him so much, that I needed to settle for him, and all his stupid comments. But now I’m free, and I’m lookin’ for someone who will be there for me, who I actually deserve. So both Dakota and Austin and step out my way, because I’m already passed them.