[bloody kisses]: 558.So Called Life (suicide entries).But a Grain Of Snow

Maxyne, a pretty name right? Well, it doesn't suit me. My name is the only piece of beauty that this tattered being holds in it's grasp.

As a girl I always dreamed, nearly believed, I could fly. I'd simply sprout wings, as white and as soft as a cloud - as snow. Then, I could leave; I'd be doing everyone else a favor.

So this is where I find myself, where my dreams shall finally come true. My black, raven colored hair draping long across my face, streaking the scar to my body. My scar - face - out of the way, my body thin but matured. My tone, olive colored, partially covered, draped, in a thin maroon cotton dress, ending long at my knees. The top of the dress sleevless so I can feel the wind rush against my frail skin.

As I walk on towards my destination, the grass seems to fade away from the points of my toes, showing soil, moist with the humidity and fog. Around me, weeping willows seem to weep for my existance, their arms shying away from me, scraping against the ground, swaying back and forth in unison with my hair and the tail of my dress.

Infront of me, the trail ends. The soil falls into the mouth which has consumed many different grains. That's all I am to these people; that's all I am. Though no one has cared what I feel. They just grind me down to near nonexistance. Uncaring to what / whom is not them.

No more soil beneath the bare balls of my feet.

I fall with my equals, the dirt dancing beside me, welcoming me to their rank.

Rocks...jagged, ridged, a small brook cutting through that; racing up towards me.

I catch the wind, surrounding by snow.

White.

Snow.

Above the grey fluff above, above the problems in the world. I rise above thee.

I shall spend the rest of my time above those who grounded me, those who would grind me into grains of nothingness. I fly above thee. Above the ones I am supposed to be equal to, I fly above thee.

Up into the blue and beyond.

My name is Maxyne. Now I can live up to my name. Without breath I have wings. Beautiful and snow white.

[3/13/07]