[felcin]: 577.A Vampires Thoughts 2

Essence precedes substance. Or so I am told. I am essence or substance… I have been told I am both. Substance – I believe I am – however, Essence? How am I essence? I don’t feel like I am the essence of anything. Is that how everyone feels?

I am not very good with words. Or, again, so I have been told. Most of the time they escape my mouth like an incoherent butterfly, hopelessly flapping its wings but unable to make any real progress.
I would love to express my views and somewhat exuberant beliefs, but I would hate it to be seen as blasphemy against Satan, ‘Our master’. Ha, he’s not my master; he holds no jurisdiction over me. But the covens haven’t changed in the past five hundred years, so no wonder that they all think that you can’t cross the boundary made by a church door. And they all run screaming from anything holy. It always makes me laugh because I know better. So I am younger than them. At least I am not as stupid.
I have slept in a church. A nice place to sleep actually… only problem was that I was woken by midnight mass. The one night of the year that I choose to stay asleep for a bit longer and if get woken by that. Stupid Christmas celebrations. They are such a pain for my kind. - Stupid mortals get cold too easily, so feel the need to cover themselves up. So when we go to feed, we have to battle through layers of fluff and scarves to get to the necks. It’s a pain and above all it wastes precious time.
The old vampires should all be thrown to the fire, with their ashes scattered, including my master. They are too old, and they are not changing with the times. They have put the covens in danger, making them believe things that they know to be untrue, just so that they can hold power over others. It makes me sick. I have been told countless times by my master that my views should be kept to myself – he didn’t want me scaring the others in the coven. Or even worse, they might believe me and leave the coven. Now that would be something to see.
My views should be kept to myself though, I believe that I have seen more of the world than my master; after all, he has never sat in the opera and listened to mortals sing, to see them as pulsing blood in all their beauty. Has hasn’t been to theatres and sat among the mortals laughing at the spectacles before them, dressed as a mortal, to live as a mortal with no fear of being caught. It’s an amazing feeling. Sitting there, surrounded by so much fresh blood, it is all I can do just to sit there and to roar my pleasure to the world. To not start a blood bath in the seats.
It takes much will power, which I don’t believe my master possesses.
They are the feelings, however ephemeral they may seem. I have become accustomed to such fleeting emotions.