[felcin]: 577.Wings

What do they think gives them the right to judge me for what I have done, or how I look.
Don’t they understand that it id not my fault for bearing these black wings upon my back. It is not my fault that I was born with black instead if white. Although, to tell the truth, I don’t think that white wings would suit me, what with all the make-up I wear.

Anyway, none of that matters today, because today I saw him. The man I love. He has black wings as well. He understands what I am going through.
I’ve known him for a couple of years, but only today did I truly understand him. And realise that it was him I had been looking for.
His black wings caught the light as he turned, and for a moment our eyes locked together and his eyes are so pretty. But he turned his back on me. And now he refuses to look me in the eye. 
He knows how I feel about him. It is kind of obvious if an angel fancies another angel. People can always tell. And he never hugs me anymore. Although I suppose that is a good thing. As if we hugged, I don’t think I would ever let go.

He has a tattoo on his back, a tribal dragon, on the top of his left shoulder blade, just above the exit of the wing.
His wings barely sweep the floor, and the grace in which he moves is like no other angel that I have ever seen.
There is a story that he used to be a sword fighter for the other side, which would explain the look he sometimes has in his eyes. But whenever I try and talk to him about it, he changes the subject, or pretends he never heard me.
And I think that is what hurts the most.

He talks to none of the other angels; sometime I think he can’t even see them. Maybe he hates his previous… life and thinks that if he didn’t see the angels he almost killed, and then he would stop thinking about killing them.
But I know he thinks about it. Sometimes there is just that hungry greed in his eyes that wants to hurt and kills.
I worry about him: the fact that he has swords in his bedroom. I always worry about him and I wish I could be there more for him, but he pushes me away too much.

Maybe he doesn’t think of me as an angel because I am younger than him.
I don’t know. All I want to do is talk to him and hold him, but I know that can never happen, and every time that I see him, it just makes it worse.
I tried staying away from him, but he always seems to pop up everywhere. And in the short spaces of time where he doesn’t I can’t stop thinking about him.
The way he moves, the way his wings fold around him when he is cold.

I only wish they were my wings.