[felcin]: 577.The Walk

The Walk

My mind is blank as I look at the random objects cluttering my room. The soft glow of the sun creeps through my window, the cold wind pushes itself through the open window. The curtains hang limply either side of the window. A strange feeling fills me, not seeing and not hearing I sit on my bed. The noises from outside and the music from my stereo sound in the distance. They are just background noise now.
I’m waiting for my phone to ring, although I know that it won’t. A sudden noise from outside cuts through my thoughts. As soon as it had come, it left and I gather my thoughts again. I lean back against my pillow, surveying my surrounds but still not seeing.
“Go away, don’t want this. Go away, don’t want this.” This confuses me, I suddenly remember my stereo. The words repeat over and over in my mind even as the song lyrics change with the passing song. My head falls back against the wall, and I stare at the purple paint on the wall. I let my eyes slowly close and soon I am just staring at the inky blackness that is the inside of my eyelids.
My mind stretches out, hoping to communicate with another, but know that this is only wishful thinking. “Never felt so scared and frightened” echoed around my head.
In a daze I open my eyes and pull my eyes away from the purple wall. I pull myself off my bed and stumble uncertainly to my window. My elbows lean on the windowsill and I push my unseeing eyes out to the world.
The street is silent. Some birds fly overhead, squawking conversations to others in their group. My rests gently in one hand, a passing car adds to the background noise and kills the silence of the street.
I watch the street intently, seeing nothing of importance. The cold air rushing into my room cools my skin and partially numbs me. I leave the windowsill and my room with speed the surprises me. I calmly walk out of the house, only grabbing my shoes and a coat on my way. My dad stops me, “I’m going out.” I tell him, stopping all his questions. I walk out into the cool night air and begin to walk.
I pay no heed to where my feet are taking me, lost in thought, I cross many roads. A voice brings me to see my current surroundings. An old man leans towards me asking if I am ok. I nod mutely and wondered why he had asked. He strolled off into the night.
I was sitting on a bench in a forest, staring out at the lake before me. I had curled myself up and I didn’t realise I was crying until a tear fell onto my hand, followed by another. I brushed them hastily away and took in my surroundings. Two large oaks stood guarding the bench and so look like they are protecting me as well. A path winds behind the bench, disappearing into the forest. A squirrel runs past the bench, hesitating slightly when it sees me, but continues on regardless. I look out over the lake. There were no clouds to darken or maim the sky, and the sun shines brilliantly over a tree in the distance. Bushes stirred with the wind that passes.
My breathing is regular, and I follow my breathing for sometime, loosing myself n my body, not paying heed to anything past the barrier of my own skin. I felt something push between my hair and touch my neck. I felt something cold, something metal rest on my neck. As a shiver runs down my spine I bow my head. If it is what I believe it to be then it may take me.
The metal is withdrawn and I see the figure enter my peripheral vision the tube of metal hangs limply from one hand, a finger rests on the trigger. I transfer my gaze from the weapon to the figure. I blink and look away. I keep my eyes firmly studying the ground, not wanting to see the figures face. I hear a light rustling and I turn my head away from the figure. A figure was striding away, into the forest. I looked to the space the figure had occupied before and I note to myself how it now stands empty. I smile to myself. I small smile, devoid of any real feeling. I haul myself to my feet and begin the long walk home.