[Tyr Zalo Hawk]: 712.Scraps.My Next Contestant

You’ve heard that song “Next Contestant” by Nickleback, right?
It’s the one where the guy talks about how everyone constantly hits on his girlfriend and it pisses him off to the point he actually takes a few of them out?
Ya, that’s my life right now.
At least it keeps things interesting…

My fist connected with the easily shattered cartilage of that asshole’s nose. Not surprisingly, I could feel the crunching beneath his skin as he toppled backwards into an open table, knocking it down as he fell. The sting that usually coursed through my hand when I did things like that wasn’t there though, must’ve meant I’d gotten used to it. That figures. Course, if you do something over and over every night for a few weeks, you tend to get used to doing it. Not that she seems to mind…
She’s a beautiful girl, to be sure: blonde, thin, well-endowed, and always dressed in clothing just revealing enough to get the attention of every dick in the room. I’d say I wish she wasn’t so good-looking, but I’ve been told lying sends you straight to Hell. Ya, I’m one lucky sonofabitch. Yup… at least that’s what they say. Course, most of them say it just before I lay them out. Like this guy.
He’s probably at least 6’3”, and his dick is probably that extra 3”. I can’t imagine his IQ is much higher than that either. Tough luck for him. Course, it’s the same for anyone who gets the idea into their head that they can touch my girl. All of these no good punks who think they’re all that. City boys, country hands, school kids with fake I.D.s… doesn’t really matter because they all think they’re good enough for her. Even some girls nowadays do it, ever since the bisexual thing became so popular.
And, of course, it’s up to me to stop the entire lot from getting too fresh. I’m almost surprised they keep coming with how many I’ve taken out. You’d think news would spread about the pissed off boyfriend of the hottie who works at the club. But, apparently, all my victims aren’t speaking, because it’s the same thing every damn night, sometimes more than once in the same night. It’s sickening.
The manager only approached me once about it, after the first week. Said something about ‘scaring away potential customers.’ I told him I’d quit once they did, and when he tried to have security ‘escort me out’ I almost went with them. Then one of them made a crack about how he’d like to ‘bang my girl’s brains out.’ I used the quieter of the two to beat the dumb one senseless, and the next night I found myself with a security position. The manager never complained after that. Just ‘doing my job,’ after all.
Ya, I take martial arts. Aikido and Judo. I’ve been taking them both for about 6 years now, and I’m only getting better with all the practice these dance hall losers are giving me. It’s the only thing they’re good for, as far as I’m concerned.

“He’s getting back up.”

Well, that’s gotta be the mistake of his life. Sorry to run, but here comes the next contestant…

© Tyr Hawkaluk (2004-Present)