[Mister Saint]: 79.Mature.A Cock and Bull Story
A Cock and Bull Story
This morning I awoke.
I stumbled out of bed and bumbled
down the flickering hall
with walls the color
of ancient paper.
I took the elevator.
Third floor, lingerie,
booby tassels, English Department.
The brief ride smelled
like the crusty, rusty dumpster
hidden just behind the Burger King.
Like hot, dry rot
and unwashed ass.
I stopped to lose a couple ounces.
"Men" the giant sign reminded
me that I am not the girl
I want to be.
Inside I took a southward glance
and hidden in my pants
lay the source of all the pain
and all the hurt the world has ever known.
And not just my own.
I knew that I had happened
on the secret to the peace
and equal treatment we all
"Death to penises, now and ever!
Destroy the infernal lever!
Hang the wang, pocket the rocket,
No mercy for Percy, defeat the meat!"
I realized that my genitalia
rile, infuriate, berate the
women of the world.
"No more dangling, end the wang
in coffins stow the rainbow row,
protect the planet from the man bit
make jihad against the rod!"
I've listened to the arguments
of both bedeviled sides.
Men are pigs, and bastards,
Women lie and make their bed
in vanity and jealousy
and neither has a fleeting clue
just what the hell it wants.