[Mister Saint]: 79.Poetry.IrishDrinkingSong

A word on this one... it was written to double as song lyrics, so the various parts are marked off as chorus or verse. Also, it's meant to be a joke, so please, laugh!

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An Irish-American drinking song

(intro riff)

I've seen troubles grand and I've known wonders great,
In front of my TV from morning till late,
I'd do you no harm if you'd do me none first
So why does dear Europe seem to think I'm the worst?

I'm fat and I'm lazy, but jolly and sweet,
I'll help mow your lawn if you'll cook me some meat,
My biggest ambition in all of the world,
is to drink, get drunk hit the bathroom and hurl...!

(chorus)

It's an Irish-American drinking song,
Oh the world's, white trash, am I,
It's an Irish-American drink-a-thon,
But I swear I'm, a hell of, a guy!

So I'll drink, to the morning and night,
As the fast food does put on, the pounds,
I'm hasty I'm pasty I'm fat and white,
But it's not, as bad as, it sounds

(Verse 2)

So maybe I'm no supermodel,
And have but five inches of throttle,
I'm a human, you're test I am sure I can pass,
If you prick me I'll bleed then I'll hand you yer ass,

So black folks and Germans and Frenchman,
And Britains and Asians and Mexicans,
You can not hate me, dislike me or what,
Since you just can't look down with your head up your butt!

Oh!

(chorus)

It's an Irish-American drinking song,
Oh the world's, white trash, am I,
It's an Irish-American drink-a-thon,
And yes, please up-size those fries!

So I'll drink, to the morning and night,
And your culture I'll gladly ignore,
I'm hasty I'm pasty I'm fat and white,
Not my fault your mother's a

hor-rible cook without taters,
and I get all the carbs that I can,
I'm not all that great a debater,
Without ounces of grain in my hand!

(bridge)

So I'll drink to the power that I'll drink to cast down,
And I'll drink to the thunderous sound,

And I'll drink, to the world, full of arrogant hounds,
And I'll drink to this thing that I found on the ground,

I'll drink to the TV and dinner,
Fat people who want to get thinner,
I'll drink, to one supreme race... (pause)

But I'm lazy, please run in my place! OH!

(chorus)

It's an Irish-American drinking song,
Oh, what am I talking about?
I've lived in, the USA twenty years long,
I'm as Irish as ten pounds of grout!

I've only seen Ireland in pictures,
I was born in the U. S. of A.!
As American as my sister,
Why can't people see things my way?

It's not an Irish-American drinking song,
Though the same blood runs right through my veins,
This country's two legs won't hold up for too long,
Until we realize that we're all the same!

If yer born here, pay tax here, yer one of us,
Not Mexican, German, Malay,
So don't be an ass and let's raise up some glass
And we'll drink to the U.S. of A.!