[Metal Tsubasa]: 95.The Story of Kiral Ilya.Opening

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Created:
2006-06-14 22:05:39
 
Keywords:
Genre:
Childrens
Style:
novel
License:
Free for reading
There was a cool breeze as the sun began to slowly rise over the horizon, a blue and purple hue painting the sky. While the sun continued to rise, the light began to gently touch a small house, sitting quietly just outside of a small village. Nothing stirred until a thin figure exited the front door of the house. He was a frail figure, hardly able to walk on his own, as was apparent by the cane his clutched so tightly to support himself. Taking each stair slowly, and carefully the man found his way out into the wide spread field that led all the way back into the village. It was a beautiful beginning to any day, except for the fact that he feared every breath could be his last. For Kiral, this was how every day started and he had begun to adjust to the idea.
Sounds from the village coming to life flooded the young man’s ears while he stood shaking and gasping for breath. He was unable to be like those in the village, with his condition as it was, Kiral couldn’t make money so he had to look for help elsewhere.
“Kiral?” a timid voice came from inside just before the door opened.

2006-08-01 dmeredith: Pretty good start. I might prefer just a scooch my detail about Kiral in the initial description since he is the main character (i.e. how old does he look, what's he wearing, what is his mood like, etc) other than a few typos however, it looks like a good start. (sorry its taken me so long to read BTW)

2006-08-06 Metal Tsubasa: Thank you very much. I'm so bummed though, cause I can't seem to find the original word documents for any of this.


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