[Metal Tsubasa]: 95.Welcome to the Night.Overdose

There he sat, or stood rather as he looked into a jumping crowd that chanted out his name, wanting him to play, but he had frozen, not from what he saw, but how he felt. He’d never taken… well… taken whatever he had been given, and now he wised ‘never had’ was still ‘never would’, but he was fried, burned out from all the chaos in his life and felt this was the only way to make it go away. It really hadn’t, it just merely made things worse. The crowd swayed, but it was an abnormal sway, something the drugs had done. Nonetheless, he began to spin his first record and the crowd pounded sinfully to the beat.
Amen stared in the bathroom mirror. His shift was about to start. Another night of horny drunks and looks of disgust or cat calls. Pulling his bleach blond hair out of its pony tail he parted it so the bright blue streak fell down one side then was pushed behind his ear, partially covering one pastel purple eye. He could feel the pulse of the crowd and hear the tempo change as he brushed at what little of a uniform he had and walked out into the crowd. Making his way behind the bar, by way of up and over he heard a familiar shout. “Crowd’s a rockin’; hope you have your blades on.” A fellow tender shouted in Amen’s ear as the other went to brake.
Amen, checking the booze, looked up he saw who the DJ was and almost dropped the bottle he was holding. “Wow…”
Luke looked back down at the turn tables, his hand pressed lightly against the thick headphones, which covered his ears. He knew this so well, he possibly could have done it all with his eyes closed… had he not been drugged to stupefaction before hand. The records spun at an abnormal pace and it threw him off his game. He had a whole two hours to fill and already he felt like he was going to pass out right there on stage. The lights spun around him and with the girls jumping on stage and trying to catch his attention he was losing it. Nonetheless, he would push on… to the breaking point. After all, he was the almost-famous-Luke-Manichart, and he was loved by his crowd, his fans… his friends? He looked up again, his vision swam and he had to turn away before he threw up on his beloved crowd. This was the breaking point; this was as far as he could take it. He walked off the stage into the back, his last record still spinning. He only made it half an hour into his slot and the crowd was furious. Luke could hear his fans pleading with him to come back, but he was too busy trying to find a place to pass out. He didn’t make it far off stage, only about five feet before collapsing onto the cold cement floor.
“Someone get a doctor!” was the last thing he heard before completely blacking out. All that was left after that was the pounding base of his last record, and then that too slowly faded into nothingness.
Amen for the next half hour only half paid attention to the drinks he was poring and serving to various tables. The DJ had the rest of his thoughts. His music had worked its way into his body, making him work to the beat. About twenty minuets in he realized something wasn’t right. The beats were steadily starting to sputter. When the man started to sway and bob, but not to the music, Amen was the only one to notice. “Bruce I’m taking a break.” Grabbing the biggest bottle of water he rushed to the back where the man had just disappeared. Looking around he saw the man stumble then fall and throw up what ever was in his stomach. Taking the walky-talky off his hip he ran to the fallen DJ. “Someone get a doctor!” he shouted into the device. “Code 5, overdose.” Lifting the man up into his lap he opened the bottle, trying to get the man to drink. Groping for a wallet he found it in the back pocket and pulled out the ID and put the rest in his packet so as not to actually get stolen. Amen was planning on seeing the man to the hospital. The paramedics were quick on the scene and soon gone again, with Amen in close proximity behind, Giving info off the ID card and whatever was in the wallet.
Nothing came into Luke’s thoughts for a long time. None of his friends left the rave; they were far too stoned to even care. He was unconscious for a long time and the only thing that went on inside the darkness of unconscious was the steady beating base that he had left several miles behind him in that noisy club. He had glimpses of things that had happened, but nothing as it happened, more like hours afterwards. When he finally woke up, his whole body was burning in the pain of whatever his friends had fed him. Everything was a blurry mess and he couldn’t even speak, all that came out was a groggy jumble of something that wasn’t even words. He looked around and slowly realized that he was in a hospital; it had to have been the white.
“W-what the hell…” Luke said, his voice finally sounding like something, “…what’s going on… what happened…?”
His head was pounding and his throat was dry. This wasn’t anything he knew how to handle and now he was sure that his friends would never get him to do that again. Nonetheless, he was here now and dealing with the night before… which was a complete jumble of a crowd and a pounding base.
Amen put his sketch book down as the peacefully sleeping model began to stir. He jumped as Luke started shouting. Leaning forward slightly he put his hand on the other man’s shoulder. “Shh. Calm down, you OD’ed last night at the club. Are you thirsty? You’re going through detox.” Pouring a glass of water he handed it to Luke in hopes of trying to keep him calm and not ripping out the IV. “I hope you don’t mind, but I went through your wallet. It’s on the table next to you if you want to check if everything is there… Do you need me to call anyone and tell them were you are? ...” Amen trailed off after relishing he was babbling.
Everything was still coming into Luke’s head slowly and all he really got out of Amen’s ‘babbling’ was a few bits and pieces. He had over dosed on drugs, which was apparent from his current residence. Then there was something about his wallet being on the stand next to him, which he glanced at slightly before turning back to Amen with a confused look. “Call someone?” he finally responded after realizing what Amen has asked. He put his head into the palm of his hand, laughing slightly. “No, no. I’m sure they don’t even know what happened, or don’t care.”
Luke’s mind was clicking back into place, like pieces in a puzzle and he finally realized that he didn’t even know who was next to him. Still a little groggy, he reached out his hand and trying his best to smile. “I’m Luke Manichart,” he said, hoping that Amen would return the gesture, “thanks for keeping me around.”
“Amen Goldensun. And don’t mention it. I would want someone to do the same for me… Also I want to hear more of your music.” He shook the hand that was offered him, with a firm grip, for his smaller body type. “Now I have to go, got to tell Bruce you’re alright…” His smile faded. “And get some take out.” The smile returned with a wink. “Call me; I put my number in your wallet.” With that he stood swinging his bag over his shoulder and swaying his hips on the way out the door. Out side the door he let his smile fade and turn into a look of exhaustion. He needed a hit and fast. Bruce could wait.
Nothing that Amen said made sense to Luke, past his name anyway. He was happy to know that someone liked his music, but after that night he was sure the club was furious with him. He wasn’t normally like that… he was never like that; maybe Bruce would be a little more forgiving in this case. Now Luke’s mind had wandered off into other directions, like take out. The DJ was rather confused because it looked as though Amen wasn’t coming back, so there was no food coming to Luke that way. For now, since he was still unable to really move around too much, he would have to just get over his grumbling stomach and get some sleep. That was something he would have a hard time with, being that his whole body wanted anything but that. Nonetheless he tried to shift into a comfortable position before crashing. “Amen?” he muttered long after the door had been closed. “Should I being praying with you at the end?” It didn’t really make sense, and Luke really didn’t care, but he laughed anyway. Tomorrow needed to be better, or he wouldn’t have a job.

---

Amen woke to the snoring of the man laying next to him. It was still dark outside but the first light of the morning were peaking over the buildings. Closing his eyes he “looked” at his mental clock. 6:00am Wednesday. Getting up, he began to wander around, finding bits and pieces of his clothes that were scattered the night before. “Your pants are behind the sofa,” came a gruff voice from the bedroom door, “money’s on the counter in the kitchen.” then the figure drifted into the bathroom and the shower started. A dismissal that Amen was use to. Grabbing his pants off the floor he hurriedly put them on discovering a picture of the man with a woman and a kid about the age of 10 or so.
“Asshole,” was the only word that came out. Going to the kitchen he grabbed the money and then left the man to himself. Looking at his cell he checked the messages. Bruce… Delete. Erin… hesitate… delete. All the people he didn’t want to hear from. It had been four days and still no call. Amen could have sworn that he would call him or at least see him at the club to practice or something. Getting to Oxford he turned the corner. It was only a couple of blocks to 10th street. Though why he felt like being “saved” at the moment he didn’t know. Just someone to talk to I guess. The priests all greeted him as he walked in but with the name Joshua. He greeted each in turn and made his way to one of the middle pews.
After getting out of the hospital, Luke had hidden away in his apartment. His whole body was screaming for something that he knew he didn’t want. He stayed in bed for three days, hardly even eating. No one came to see him, none of his friends even tried to contact him. Sometimes he wondered if they were friends at all. They had all changed so much around him that he didn’t even recognize them anymore. These people, his so called friends, were nothing like those that he had grown up with. What had happened to his ‘brothers’, his crying shoulders, his shelter? Thinking back, everything had changed back in freshman year of high school… or at least, that’s when he stopped changing. Had it not been for that… that incident, Luke would have possibly ended up just like the rest of his friends, perhaps something good had come out of that time in his life, but Luke highly doubted that.
Luke rolled over in bed and looked at his clock, but it was rather blurry and he couldn’t make out the hands. Slowly, he grabbed for his glasses and then took another look; the clock read 7:32am. Normally this would have been far too early for him, but with his body still fighting to maintain sanity, he got up at random hours and couldn’t go back to sleep. This day he had actually gotten more sleep than usual. Groggy and overly tired, Luke stood up just in time to hear a small ‘mew’ at his feet. Looking down he found his tiny kitten wrapping itself around his legs. “You hungry Casca?” he questioned as he picked the small lump of fur up, finding his way into the kitchen.
After feeding the cat and scrounging for something easy on his stomach, Luke sat down on the sofa, his cell phone sitting just on the end table, with a crumpled piece of paper next to it. I should call him, Luke told himself as he took both the paper and his phone in his hand. Slowly he dialed the number, which was followed by ringing.
It wasn’t long after he sat down that Amen had to get back up again and leave. Thank god he had turned his cell to silent. It was still odd to be praying and then have something vibrating in your pocket…Promising to come back later he made his way to the little dinner down the street. Looking at the caller ID he didn’t recognize the number. Hoping it wasn’t Bruce or one of his trades, he answered. “’yello?” He said in a timid voice.
“H-hey,” Luke said upon hearing the voice over the cell. He paused, realizing that he couldn’t remember what he had called about anyway… or even if he had expected anyone to pick up the phone this early in the morning. “Um… is the Amen?”
“Depends on whose calling. May I ask who this is?” Walking in to the little hole-in-the-wall place Amen nodded to the waitress and sat at his usual table.
He forgot to introduce himself. “Oh right,” Luke said, feeling slightly nervous, “this is Luke, Luke Manichart; you were the one that took me to the hospital. I’m sorry; I just thought I would call to thank you again.” Again he paused, fumbling with the piece of paper. What was he trying to get at? Idiot, he grumbled at himself. Now he was sure Amen would think he was still stoned off his ass. So he tried to better himself. “Well, I thought I would thank you properly. Maybe we could go to lunch or something. I’ve got a gig in a couple days, but maybe we could get together before then?”
Well, if he didn’t sound stoned, he certainly sounded like he wanted some. What were they, dating? Luke had to smack himself in the head. This wasn’t going well, maybe the drugs had dug a little too deep into his system.
“S-so, what’d you say?”
Ah he sounded so cute. “Breakfast.” He called the waitress over. “What do you want. I’m at Gabe’s so keep it simple.” He started to point to things as the waitress wrote them down.
Luke knew that place fairly well. ‘Gabe’s’ or ‘Gae’s’ when the light flickered out. He couldn’t really remember the menu, but he didn’t care, he was hurriedly dressing himself with the phone still pressed against his face. “Um…” he muttered, slightly preoccupied with pulling his pants up and fastening them. “Whatever, I’m starving.” He accidentally dropped the phone on Casca, causing her to dash away. He grabbed it quickly. “I’m on my way.” With that he hung up the phone and searched for something clean to wear for a shirt.
All Amen could really hear was the sound of ruffling cloths and a very disgruntled cat sound then a thud. Pulling the phone away from his ear he gave it a weird look. Putting the phone back to his ear. He caught ‘on my way’ before the call cut out. Panicked he used the nice *69 feature. When Luke finally picked up he shouted, “I was gonna bring it to you.”
He was half way down the stairs when his phone rang. “Hello?” he said, sort of disoriented from the most moving he had done in the past three days. On the other side he heard Amen say, “I was gonna bring it to you.” Luke paused in embarrassment.
“Oh…” he said quietly. “I knew that…”
Slowly, Luke made his way back up to his apartment, all the while telling Amen how to get to his apartment from Gabe’s. It was a little ways, so Luke hoped he had enough time to clean up a little before his visitor arrived. After giving instructions, Luke hung up again and went about his cleaning.
The place was an absolute mess, not just because of him being incapacitated, but also because of his now missing friends and their need to party in his apartment. Beer cans, cigarette butts, various sizes of condoms… some used some still in their small packets, there was so much crap in that place, Luke was grateful that the cops never felt the need to search his apartment. His dirty laundry and sparse dirty dishes didn’t even make up a sixth of the mess.
Still disoriented after all this time, Luke had to stop and take a few breathers before getting back to work. Trash was lined up in rows in a small closet where his trash can was, he wouldn’t have time or the energy to haul it all down to the dumpster before Amen showed up, so for now he would just hide it. The clothes were in the laundry, dishes in the dishwasher, and Luke looked over his apartment and was pleased to find it, for the most part, clean. With that he plopped back down on the sofa, only to find the young Casca looking up at him from the cushion to his right. The DJ gently pet his kitten’s soft grey hair. “Sorry about the phone,” he told Casca with a smile. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise baby.”
Amen stood at the top of the stairs, looking back at them. God it was a long way up and with no elevator, He definitely got his exercise for the day. Finally out side the right door he tried to shuffle the bags of food to knock on the door. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise baby.” Could be heard from inside. Amen rethought his intensions with the man. You can’t lead a man on if you already have someone you ass. He thought to himself. He knocked anyway; he would at least give him his food, if not a piece of his mind.
Once he heard the knock on the door, Luke stood up, leaving Casca to roam around the apartment, though she felt the need to follow after her loving master. He opened the door with a broad smile and a gentle, “Hey, thanks for breakfast.” However, upon looking into Amen’s face, Luke found something not so pleasant. He looked with confusion at the man just outside his doorway, his face looking somewhat unhappy. “What’s the deal?” Luke asked. “Are you okay?” However, he didn’t wait for an immediate answer and let Amen in. “Come on in, I just cleaned the place.” Turning in Casca followed close on his heels. “Hope you like cats, ‘cause Casca likes people.”
“So what do you have to make up for and to whom?” Amen passed him and quickly found the kitchen. Setting the food on the counter he spun looking even more pissed of. “You shouldn’t flirt with someone and lead them on if you plan on going home with someone else!”
Luke’s eyes were wide with confusion, clearly he had missed something. With Casca still rubbing against his legs as he closed the door, Luke picked up the kitten and walked towards the small kitchen and Amen. He paused right in front of Amen, still looking completely confused. “I was talking to Casca,” he said rather plainly as he took the cat in his two hands and stretched it out towards Amen, as if passing the kitten off. “I felt bad about dropping the phone on her earlier.” With that he set the cat back down on the ground, and she finally decided to go off on her own little adventure of the mysterious world that was the apartment.
“And I’m not flirting with anybody,” stated the DJ after checking on the dishes in the washer. “I just thought I would repay you for being so nice to me.” He then thought it over and realized that Amen had been the one to come see him… not the other way around. With a sort of sad smile, Luke looked back at Amen. “But I suppose I’ll have to pay you back another way. After all, you bought breakfast.”
He really hadn’t intended to sound flirtatious, he just really didn’t know how to handle people he didn’t know and phone conversations were never his strong suit. Now he felt bad that he had sounded that way. “I didn’t mean to lie to you, I’m sorry.”
Amen never really was much into cats so when the little fuzz ball was shoved into his face he cocked a smile and patted the thing on the head, as one would do with a dog. He watched as the cat was put back down and scampered off. Well that also explained the almost cartoon like sounds over the phone. “Ok… you may not really think you were flirting with me but I know something is going on in that mind of yours. You were just a little anxious to see me again.” He poked Luke it the forehead before turning around to unload the rest of the food. “As for breakfast, I’m pretty sure I make a hell of a lot more money then you do. And if you’re apartment says anything it’s that I’m right, so just shut up and eat. I know what its like to recover from an overdose. Trust me.” His voice got a little sad with the last comment.
It was strange to see Amen going on like a middle aged house wife; Luke couldn’t help but be amused. “I just felt like being around someone. Normally it isn’t as quite here as it’s been for the past few days,” Luke pointed out, and then turned with a questioning look to the door. He could hear foot steps beyond it, followed by random bursts of laughter. He knew the sound all too well. Suddenly Luke felt horribly ill. He turned to Amen as if to apologize in advance for what was about to come barging in the door.
The laughter grew louder and the lock on the door came undone, allowing a large group of people to flow in like a hurricane wave. There were at least ten people, and clearly they were high to the point of being stupefied. Luke looked horribly at Amen and turned away. These were his friends, who had just decided to come to check on him.
“Yo Luke!” a girl, clearly the same age as Luke, shouted as she dropped an arm around the DJ’s neck, causing him to stumble forward slightly. “Where’d you go the other night, we wanted to hear you spin some more!”
Several other people agreed with this, cheering with open beers in their hands. This was how parties happened at Luke’s apartment. Also, his old roommate, who felt the need to hang onto a key, decided that even though he didn’t pay rent, he was still allowed to invite a massive amount of people over.
Luke was about to hurl. The room was spinning around him and all his so called friends wanted nothing more than to jump all over him, shoving their faces into his. The DJ rushed for the bathroom in a panic, but was caught by the forearm by one of his male friends.
Amen immediately knew who they were. He had seen them at the club more then a few times. They were the group that he would walk into their circle to serve them drinks, and feel instantly light headed. So these were the “friends” he was told about. While being totally ignored he watched as Luke was tossed around like a human pin ball. After a few minuets things started to get a bit more ruff and Luke was turning visibly green. As he tried to make a mad dash to the bathroom, Amen grabbed the apartment key that was flying in front of his face and whistled as loud as he could over the commotion. “What the HELL right do you FUCKERS have to be here? If I remember right, you ASSHOLES left your FRIEND to DIE of an OVERDOSE, which YOU gave him.” Grabbing at the offending hand he pushed with his thumb as hard as he could against the tendon on the soft part of the wrist. The man’s hand let go and went slightly numb in the process. “Now if you would GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, he still needs to rest.”
No one was very happy with Amen or Luke for that matter, being that he was in Luke’s apartment. The only one to voice his opinion on that matter after turning tale towards the door was Luke’s old roommate, Aaron, who glared heatedly at Amen. “Who the fuck do you think you are?” snarled Aaron. Nonetheless, he filed out of the apartment along with the others, leaving it as much of a mess as it had been before, so much so, that it looked as if Luke had never cleaned it.
Luke however, was too busy throwing up whatever he had had in his stomach. He felt faint, and dropped to his knees in front of the toilet, his torso half slumped over the bowl. Clearly, the young DJ wasn’t very hungry anymore, but he could finally stand up even though he was rather dizzy when he did. Everything in his chest hurt, like someone had dropped a ten ton bolder on it.
Slowly, Luke wandered out of the bathroom, with Casca suddenly at his heels. After wild parties in the apartment Casca usually did this, clearly because during the mess she would be tormented by Luke’s so called “friends”.
“Sorry about that,” Luke stated sorrowfully as he came back into the kitchen. “I didn’t think they would be around for at least another day or two… I’m sort of surprised that they showed up at all. I figured they would think I was dead and stop coming by.” Luke laughed it off as he slowly began to pick u beer cans and various other things that his friends had tossed nonchalantly about the apartment.
It was at times like this that Luke wondered how he could possibly stay friends with all of them. Since high school they had all changed so much and he had remained exactly the same as he had been. He was pure and simple and they felt the need to complicate everything. They weren’t always like that and his missed them being like him, but it was a time he couldn’t clearly remember at the moment.
“A true friend you jackwipe!” Amen shouted after the man. As the last of the party left heaving sounds could be heard coming from the bathroom. Amen started picking up the random beer cans and other various things. More vomiting… “Poor guy goes from overdose to withdrawal…” He stopped what he was doing and thought about the situation. Unconsciously he started pulling on his already long sleeves. Just at that moment Luke came wobbling out of the bathroom. “You shouldn’t apologize. It’s not your fault their like that. Shit happens, people change. I’m sure they were cool at one time or another.” With that said he started to help clean up again. After the apartment was spotless again and the trash that amen had found piled up in the closet was taken out they finally got to the food. “I’m not that hungry anymore. And jugging by you performance earlier you might just want crackers for a few hours.” Amen looked over Luke. And more rest. “Let me ask you something? Was that your first time taking drugs?”
There was a pause as Luke turned an eye towards Amen. He looked away quickly, rubbing his hands together as if he were cold. “Yeah...” his words trailed off for a moment. “It was a rough night, and I figured one time wouldn’t hurt...” Luke stopped quickly. He didn’t like how that sounded, it wasn’t at all what he meant. He looked back at Amen quickly, hoping that somehow the other man had gone deaf for those few seconds and not heard anything he had just said. “I was stressed, that’s all, I just couldn’t handle it anymore...” Again Luke got quiet. He shifted uneasily and finally moved away from Amen when Casca began to paw at his leg. The DJ moved to the kitchen window as he said, “I don’t do drugs. I can’t. They... cause too many problems. I was losing it, I wasn’t thinking straight.”
Luke started to shift uneasily again, thinking back to his freshman year of high school, but he quickly shook it off, hoping that somehow that would make his forget.
So with that Luke moved back towards his room. Casca leapt out of his arms as he turned slightly towards Amen. “I’m feeling really tired,” he stated plainly, though a slight smile crossed his face. “You can stay if you’d like, just lock the door when you go.” Luke then continued into his room where he proceeded to drop roughly on his still unmade bed, covered in clothes. I'm not like that... he though, burring his face in a pillow.
Amen just stared blankly at the man as he moved from room to room, and coming up with ridicules excuses. Amen pulled the key he took from the hooligans a little while before and fallowed Luke into the bedroom. Putting the key on the nightstand he put his other hand on the clasped mans back. “I got that from one of the guys earlier; I thought you might want it back. And next time you feel stressed before a show, come to the bar, I’ll give you a shot instead.” With that he got up to leave, but stopping in the door way he looked back. “You’re a lot stronger then I am. You’ll survive this.” With the last comment hanging in the air he left the room and then the apartment after putting the food in the fridge. He really needed to go home. After last night and this morning all he wanted was a hot shower and another strong hit.
He heard the key being set down on the nightstand and then Amen's hand on his back. It was something he would have normally flinched away from, simply because it was far too gentle, he didn't know how else to react. However, he took it for what it was and didn't move. He took in every word that Amen said and thought it over, everything flowing through his mind like a thin stream of light: direct, but easily upset. It was because of this that Luke didn't even feel the need to react to Amen's statements until he was walking out the door of the apartment.
"Amen!" Luke shouted as he sat up on the bed. He felt a little light headed after sitting up so quickly, but still he got to his feet as quickly as possible. "Amen wait!"
The sickly DJ stumbled towards the door, the spare key clutched tightly in his hand. His body slammed roughly against the back of the door only moments after Amen had closed it. Luke fumbled with the door handle and used the door itself to propel himself forward; being that his light headedness was pulling him backwards. His vision swam as he looked around for Amen, finding him walking down the stairs, not even a full fight away.
"Amen!" Luke called out one more time before he stumbled, and almost fell, had it not been for the railing he was clutching, down the steps.
As he stopped, Luke tried to catch his breath, but his vision was blurring horribly and he was starting to feel sick again. He clutched the railing tightly with both hands, righting himself momentarily. He was sure he looked like an idiot, but at this point it was the least of his worries.
Still with his head spinning, Luke gripped Amen's wrist in one hand to pull him down those two inches, and his other arm around the taller man's neck for balance. He felt as if he was drunk, or worse, he felt like he did that night. Nonetheless, he pulled Amen towards him and stole one, very short kiss... before passing out right there on the stairs.
Amen stopped when he heard his name being called behind him. Turning around He saw Luke running toward him down the flight of stairs. The man was also wobbling heavily. This is not going to be good. Amen thought to himself. Steadying himself for a body to slam into him, he didn’t actually expect Luke to stop in time, let alone grab his wrist and kiss him. It surprised him, that Luke had been that forward. His heart had actually skipped a beat. The real surprise had come when time actually regained normal speed in his head and he felt the dead weight hit him in the chest. Instinctively grabbing at Luke he did a very good “Miss Congeniality” impression as he slowly lowered them both to the floor. “Luke? Luke your to heavy I can’t carry you back up the stairs. Come on I need you to wake up.” With out actually waking him up, but getting him to a kind of “sleep walking” state Amen got him back to bed. Looking down at Casca Amen put his hands on his hips. “I bet you’re finding this hilarious, aren’t you cat?” A happy 'meow' was the only answer. Well he couldn’t go home now. Rummaging around he found clean towels and headed with his bag in hand to the bathroom. He was going to get his shower and his injection this morning if it killed him.
The walk up the stairs was rather rough on Luke. He really couldn't comprehend even the fact that he was walking. Everything was black and all he heard was Amen's voice. When he finally regained consciousness, Luke found himself back in his bed. He dropped his face into a pillow, wishing he hadn't just thrust himself at Amen like he did. He had been a complete idiot, doing what he did. He wasn't like that; he was careful and unavailable when it came to loving or liking someone. After everything that had happened back... back then, he was ashamed of himself. He didn't want that to happen all over again, even if he had been young at the time, it was far too much to deal with even at the age of twenty-two. He couldn't have that happen again; it would force him into a mental institution.
Slowly, Luke pushed himself up off the pillow and sat up in bed. He looked around and found nothing but the silly grey kitten curled up next to him on the bed. Luke figured that Amen had left, until he heard the shower going only a room over. At least he stayed Luke thought as he stood up from the bed. Casca in turn felt the movement and followed after her master, meowing contently that he was awake.
Luke walked quietly up to the bathroom door, and leaned his head against it. He didn't know what he could say to Amen's face, he felt horribly embarrassed, but he could at least get an "I'm Sorry" out with the door between them and the shower running as noisily as it always did. With that, Luke walked over to the couch and flopped down on it, his legs draped over the edge.
Amen heard the door rattle over the sound of the shower. Luke must have woken up. Guess I took longer then I thought. Rinsing the last of the soap from his body and hair her turned off the water. Looking through him nap sake he found a clean pair of underwear, but no shirt. There was no way he was going to wear the same shirt as yester day, especially after the morning from hell in it to. No The other hand he didn’t want Luke to see his track marks either. He looked at them again, the newest was still a bright red and was starting to bruise a little. Frowning he Rummaged again founding his foundation and cover up powder. Wincing a little he started to put the makeup over the inside of his elbows. Looking at the finished product it didn’t look to bad but he would have to be careful not to smudge it till he got another shirt to hide his arms. Putting on his pants, he let them hang low. Maybe if he was lucky he could try to get another kiss. Finally happy with the look of this body he walked out of the bathroom with towel in hand to dry his hair. Seeing Luke on the couch he smiled. “Morning glory.” He greated." Hope you didn't mind me using your shower?"
"It's fine," Luke said shyly as he tried to turn his face away from the other man. He felt like a total idiot for acting as he had, it wasn't right, but something about that content face made him hope inside that things would go better this time around. Still, if anything else were to happen, Luke knew he would have to be a little more forward with Amen... something he didn't really want to do.
"Sorry about that..." Luke paused, swallowing. "...The kiss. I don't know what came over me. That wasn't right." Now he felt more like an idiot.
Amen was the first person in a long time to actually care about Luke, and now he figured that that compassion had gotten to his head. He couldn't let that happen, not after everything that had happened before. "I don't really know you all that well," Luke continued. "It wasn't really fair of me."
He just kept talking, trying to keep himself from sitting up and kissing Amen again. If he kept talking, his lips would be to preoccupied.
Amen just stared dumb founded. “There’s no need to be sorry.” Something in him felt hurt. “That wasn’t right.” Resounded at the middle of the pain. He hadn’t heard that phrase pointed towards him in a long time. Putting down his bag and the towel, he walked over to the couch and sat on his knees next to it. Pulling Luke’s face to look in to his eyes he said. “No it wasn’t fair. You passed out right after that.” With that said Amen kissed him, soft and sweet but definitely longer then the last one.
The DJ's ocean blue eyes shot wide as he felt Amen's lips press against his own. His first reaction was to pull away, but he was frozen right where he was. Flashes of the the past shot through Luke's head at light speed and his fists clenched. What if that happened all over again? His chest suddenly pounded with pain, but he ignored it as best he could.
"You should just die!" a very familar voice shouted in his head, forcing Luke to sit back up. Pain shot down his chest, and he forced himself to stand up, trying his best to look unphased.
His lips parted to speak, but closed again quickly as his eyes darted away from Amen's face. What was there to say? He couldn't share all of that, not when he didn't know Amen all that well; it was far too much. "I'm sorry," was all he could get out.
Amen couldn’t have looked half as hurt as he felt. Rejection wasn’t easy for him to swallow. Looking at the floor he got up off it. Going to his bag he pulled out his shirt, and putting it on he tossed the towel with the rest of Luke’s dirty cloths. “No I’m Sorry. I should have thought about how you would feel first. If you want to talk then just call me. You still have the number right?” He didn’t even wait for the answer before he walked out, shutting the door behind him.
Passing the church once more he walked in and sat at his usual pew. He started to cry as he prayed. “Have I angered you in anyway to deserve the hell you put me through.” He whispered to the Man hanging on the cross, and no one in general.
Three days. It would be three days till Luke would be back at the club, right in his usual spot. he would have to prepare for it, and as soon as Amen closed the door Luke tried his best to make that his top priority. If he fixed his mind on is music, then he wouldn't have to think about anything else. With that, he turned to his room again, where his tabels sat next to a window. He closed the curtains, put on his headphones... and drowned out the voices echoing in his head. Three more days... and he would have the world in his hand again.