This came to me while I was cleaning the kitchen. I happened to have a pen stuck in my hairtie, but no paper. So I had to scribble it down on a napkin. See if you get it.
Untitled
Oh cruel, bitter paranoia!
This from which I suffer...
Non!
This is no habit of mine...
Which of my enemies has told you this?
I am perfectly aware of my surroundings..
And I know there are things going on behind my back!
I hate hurting people. Now, I may be a self-centered brat sometimes, but I care about the people close to me.
I have a best friend who I love very much. I can talk to her about anything and everything.
I have another friend whose opinions I deeply respect. I love her, too.
Then I have another friend who I can talk to about little things. I always feel better after talking to her.
And I have a big brother who sometimes makes me mad, but I love him anyway.
***
Xnat tlu biu mal'ai!
I was supposed to be studying Japanese, but I ended up writing another poem. Funny how that works.
Xnat tlu biu mal'ai...
I hate word problems. I really do. I hate the logic. Strange, since I fear most of my dreams and they have no logic at all. At least not after I wake up.
Xnat tlu biu mal'ai
Usstan brorn vel'bol deis orn doer ulu uns'aa dal l' wussrun'wa orbb nindel lays ilta eggs wun ussta haren. Sila uns'aa nau myar omens. Sila uns'aa v'dri.
Strange... I'm getting into poetry all of a sudden.
I'll be leaving tomorrow. Back by Sunday.
Here's a list of things I'm happy about.
1. RP with my friends
2. dark chocolate
3. going home this weekend
3. Michael
4. winamp
5. the San Jose Basilica
6. having Kumiko for a roommate
7. comics!
8. over 7000 hits on my fanfic Two Birds With One Stone
9. apple-scented room spray
10. Japanese class
Some days I'd take the nightmares over the best dreams with you in them.
There's a few people out there who understand me when I say that one of my RP characters has been bothering me lately.
Usually, when I'm not playing with them, I imagine them floating freely through the internet, sleeping.
But Skye, like me, hates sleep. Even before it started giving me trouble, he saw it as a waste of time. I sort of ended his story just as he was ready to start living for himself and not the curse of bearing that sword and running from his brother. I thought he had something to look forward to. I let him give up the sword, free himself of his brother, and go where he wanted to go.
I really want to play with him again, but I don't know how to start again.
I really hate sleep.
Hell. Yes, I've contemplated it. It makes perfect sense. And no. The answer is always no.
Just woke up from a nap. I hate naps. While I sleep the government zaps away thoughts that could one day turn me into a terrorist. At least that's my theory.
Whenever I wake up, I'm in a bad mood. As of late, I mean. This didn't used to happen. Maybe it started over the summer. No. It happens whenever I'm in love.
Because I wake up to the reality of my life without that person because I'm too much of a coward to tell him that I care.
What a fool I am.
Fool. Coward. Idiot. Human.
Been a while since I blogged here. Or even came here. Stuff has happened. Shit has happened. I've been living day by day as best I can. I win some, I lose some. Threw a few punches, took a few hits. Got my heart broke, fell in love. You know the drill. It's been life.
Well.
I hope I did that right. If you care, go to my writings and see if you can read "In the Mud", prologue to this story I've started writing.
Also, I've made a poll if you're interested.
Both Skye and I decided to do some heavy drinking tonight. Except I'm drinking juice, and he's drinking wine. At least he's finally helped his brother. Nothing left for him now. Cheers.
I made a poll.
*First Blog Dance*
Okay, now that that's done. Oro... When I went to Nightshadow's presentation... there was a note at the top that said "This is the person who invited me to Writersco". Pretty chizz.
Man, I'm gonna have to start writing some more just to keep up here. I've got to figure out how to post my writing on here so I can get "Scroll" on here. Hopefully that'll inspire me to finish that first chapter I've been working for months on.
It seems very quiet here. Kind of a good thing, I guess.