I have submitted a poem to the Dueling Arena!
If you are interested in the poetry dueling place, ask [Mister Saint] about it. Or... you know... uh... click that link from the mainpage.
Write poetry!
It's good for you!
Lines composed at San Salvador and 11th street
Wet streets - the city streets,
And the moon is clothed in clouds -
A halo 'round so bright!
And the stars!
So bright, this night...
I don't think I'll be going home
Not ever
And not tonight!
In the city
In the city
Lights shine...
Oh... shine like souls
Traffic jazz
Makes me come alive
A man on the corner buys a dozen roses
And I wish I was him
Wish I was him
In the city
In the ‘hood
Children sing, children play
Take away... take away the pain of today
Surrounded by people
But I feel alone
I’m looking for you
In the flashing lights
In the city
In the city
Darkness and shadow
Shadow...
Oh, like heartless sin
I’m looking for you
At the street corner, corner store
In the traffic jazz
And the children’s song
In the city
In the city
Lights shine
Oh... shine like souls
Hullo, peoples!
Well, I am posting this in hopes that some of you are like me and you click on the "recent blog entries" link often. Anyway, this is to announce a contest I have going, October in the Air.
It is a fun little Halloween writing challenge. The basic idea is to write about an encounter with a spooky creature. Interested? Well, clickie on the link there for details.
Something bad happened in the I-House last night. Two people who I consider big brothers got into a fight. One of them broke the other's nose. He's fine now. But I haven't seen the other, and when I asked where he was, Leann just said, "Not in the house."
I didn't know anything had happened. Last night I was here in my room. I went to bed rather late, but I didn't know anythign was going on.
So today when I was walking down the stairs to go to dinner, I saw a sign posted on the door - there are always signs... "car wash", "pancake breakfast next week", "cross cultural workshop" - but this one said, "Are you stressed over last night? There will be a guidance counselor here at 5pm..." and so on. It was just past 5:30 when I saw it, and I went to eat dinner in the TV room. I could see from where I sat that there was a ring of people in the formal living room. I didn't know what had happened. I didn't want to ask what had happened. Somehow, I figured I should stay out of it.
But as I was eating, Clemont came and told me, and I was sad. Because when things like this happen, it's a bad habit of mine, but I usually start to think that it was my fault, at least in part. Like I could have done something. And I know I shouldn't, and that I probably couldn't have. But, yeah.
My favorite foods are the same - or similar to - the color I see in my mind when I eat them. That's why I like chocolate best.
"Carve your stumbling blocks into stepping stones."
-Unknown
I drove my Papi's BMW on the freeway today. It was awsome. And the best part is, he said that it might end up being my first car.
Little by little it starts to dawn on me how much research this project entails. This story will be set in a real place, so I have to read up on it. The history, the climate, the geography... it becomes overwhelming. I am excited in spite of all of this.
I did it!
I beat Sephiroth! *victory dance* Drive gauge powered up and all... *grins* I think a chocolate shake is in order.
Work was easy today. Some guy called and tried to order chiken nuggets. Again. Chris told Will to just hang up on him. Tracey thinks it's weird that I don't hate pizza yet.
Tomorrow J starts 4th grade. She's so excited about going back to school. Nene starts high school, and she's a little nervous and a little excited.
Tomorrow, I get to sit at home until 4, when I go to work.
Also, I'm going to stay off MSN for a while because the past two nights I've been a total ass-sandwhich.
I got so damn close to kicking Sephiroth's virtual ass on KH2 today, but I ran out of Elixirs and he hit me with that "Sin Harvest Angel" attack.
I'm going to work in a bit, and the best part is that my family will come to eat there! I'm going to be making pizza for them all.
So, I went in on Thursday and signed my name like I've been doing for the past almost two years, said hullo to Joyce, and sat down until Dr.Payne called me in.
Yes.
Dr.Payne.
My orthodondist's name is Dr.Payne.
As a writer, having an orthodontist with that name is almost embarassing. (I'll bet when he was a kid he thought it was the best possible name for a doctor of any kind, and decided that because Dr.Payne sounded so freakishly evil and weird, he was going to be a doctor of some sort.)
And he's so goddamn annoying... Oh, you know, it's the usual thing with orthodontists. They, like dentists, have the strange habit of talking to you and asking you things while they've got their fingers in your mouth. Dennis Frank Payne is like that. Only he also teases me while tightening wires to the point where I have to try really hard not to bite him. He also loves those tiny little rubber bands that stretch across my teeth to tame the position of my bite. I think it is his goal to test every possible combination of rubber band formation on me.
So, when I walked in on Thursday to talk to him about getting the cursed metal off, when he said, "So, you want to get rid of them?" I ploped down on the chair and cheekily replied, "I want to get rid of you."
People who know me well might be shocked at the way I address my orthodontist and my dentist. I tend to be a very kind-spoken person, always polite and never terse, never speaking what I'm actually thinking. (My closest friends being the exception, of course.) These people put their fingers in my mouth and put nasty jelly on my gums and pull my teeth out and make me take x-rays, and poke wires every which way. And they get paid very well for it. So I figure I have every right to be honest with them.
Dr.Payne looked in my mouth and said that I was nearly ready anyway, and it wouldn't be bad at all if I got them taken out soon. So we set about making an appointment. August 15th. Of course, I would have chosen to have them off as soon as possible, but that was the only appointment availible. So. But at least it was a fixed date. I have Joyce my cell phone number in case - Lord of Light, please! - there should be a cancellation and I could have them removed sooner.
"Guess what?" I pulled out a few Divina's-famou
"I'll bet you were waiting to see what I'd say today to give those to me," he said, surprised.
"Yup."
If he said I needed more than a month, I would have eaten those myself.
So.
Friday, I went to Costco with my Mami, and as we were loading up the van, my phone rang. "Bueno?" I answered, wondering who it was, since the ring tone was the one I had programed for restricted numbers and numbers not in my phone book.
It was Joyce.
There had been a few cancellations, and could I possibly come in on Monday morning to have my braces taken off?
I guess he really liked those cookies.
And now. Some cheerfulness to cheer up the "recent blog entries" page.
I got a newer, better job! After working for the evil place that was Mel's liquor, I will now be working at Me-n-Ed's Pizza! This makes me very happy for a number of reasons:
- I am not allowed to sell liquor to anyone (I have very strong feelings about the evils of drinking, and I always felt horrible selling beers and lagers at Mel's)
- I get to make pizza!
- Me-n-Ed's is closer to my house
- Me-n-Ed's is a real place (A real business... whereas Mel's was owned and operated by the people who hired me there)
- I get to work with my old friend Chris!
Also, I gots a chizz new haircut and in a month the cursed wires that have been imprisoning my smile for nearly two years are finally coming off.
I am very happy today.
Also, I played KHII for a while, leveled up all my drive forms, and got a f*ckton of new synthesis items. I only need a couple more things to make my beloved Ultima Weapon.
Whee!!
Been gone for a long while. Porbably won't be back for another. I guess I'm here for a few days... but then it's back to work.
This morning, I discovered that just outside our window is a real live bird's nest! A robin's nest! I like robins... I guess it's because of the whole Secret Garden fixation I had when I was about 9 years old. Anyway, there it is, and I saw the male robin bring food to his wife, who must be sitting on their eggs... I think. How exciting! That's what I love about spring.
神様，今日 カリフォニヤ が
As of late, I been feeling better about myself. Mostly because I decided to start being careful about how much I eat. I've also decided to hold off on fastfood and chocolate for a while. I try not to take seconds at dinner, and pace myself when I eat. I tend to rush. And then get more. Not good, obviously. Finals week is next week. I am going to study Japanese all week because I really feel that is my biggest threat right now. Changing all the verbs... makes me dizzy. "Mu, nu, bun, de..."
I woke up this morning early and had the quickest shower, changed into some jeans and my white camisa with the pink and maroon flowers on it. I put on the earrings Emma gave me, and went downstairs to find Kerilynn, who braided my hair. Then I worked in the kitchen from 8 in the morning to 1:30 in the afternoon making pancakes, pancakes and more pancakes. It was fun, though. the head chef let me put on music, and I got to yell "Order UP!" and eat some of the stuff that was back there.
When it was all over I came up and took a nap because I hadn't taken any breaks longer than 3 minutes to drink lemonade or something, and then I had another longer "break" but that was only to perform my kata for the customers. They enjoyed it, anyway.
And that, people, is my real life. For which I am grateful. Every day. I have a good education, friends, and an awsome big bro.
Some days aren't as fun. Some days I really just want to crawl under the covers with my stuffed rabbit Daisuke and wake up when it's over. But hell. Life doesn't work that way.
Life's a bitch, yeah. But you got to make it your bitch, got it?
OMG... today... was so fucking horrible. yesterday i mean. Shit it's 1.30 am... i can't believe the sick feeling isn't gone yet. i feel like it will never go away... what can i say? there is something evil inside of me. i have to kill it somehow. just end it. my life sucks. no one cares about me. and today was worse. i am worthless.
even bleeding it didn't make it go away. and i cried too. so much crying and so much blood. it has to end in blood. my blood. my life... i need to sleep. i want to sleep forever. be like a princess under a spell but no one will come call me out of it. no happy ending for me.
there are easy ways and there are ways that will cause me pain as i go. which should i choose? i deserve pain. shit. today the worls turned it's back on me... i will take my bows now and walk off the world stage... i will take pain.
i will cry but no one will cry for me.
*The only thing true about the above is that it made me wince every time I typed "i" instead of "I". And I know there's missing commas and shit in there. And Lord of Light... that is the only time I will write Ooompa Mooch Grapes. I was trying to make a point. You see, I am sick of all these blogs where people write how depressing their lives are and how they'd like to kill themselves. They are cowards. They just want attention. Pity. Whatever. I feel for some of these people, but the things they write are disturbing, and if there really is a problem, then they should talk to someone. Like a therapist. Or their parents. Not a bunch of people on the internet who can only sit here on the other side of the computer screen and try to console the person.
Some people can't be consoled. Bloody hell. Then don't ask for it. Go do whatever you want with your life but leave us out of it. Especially if you are so set on your depression, so comfortable in that morbid little zone listening to music that sounds like a cross between a car wrek and Brittney Spears, drawing little stick figures hanging from trees and writing insane poetry to people you're obsessing over.