神様，今日 カリフォニヤ が
As of late, I been feeling better about myself. Mostly because I decided to start being careful about how much I eat. I've also decided to hold off on fastfood and chocolate for a while. I try not to take seconds at dinner, and pace myself when I eat. I tend to rush. And then get more. Not good, obviously. Finals week is next week. I am going to study Japanese all week because I really feel that is my biggest threat right now. Changing all the verbs... makes me dizzy. "Mu, nu, bun, de..."
I woke up this morning early and had the quickest shower, changed into some jeans and my white camisa with the pink and maroon flowers on it. I put on the earrings Emma gave me, and went downstairs to find Kerilynn, who braided my hair. Then I worked in the kitchen from 8 in the morning to 1:30 in the afternoon making pancakes, pancakes and more pancakes. It was fun, though. the head chef let me put on music, and I got to yell "Order UP!" and eat some of the stuff that was back there.
When it was all over I came up and took a nap because I hadn't taken any breaks longer than 3 minutes to drink lemonade or something, and then I had another longer "break" but that was only to perform my kata for the customers. They enjoyed it, anyway.
And that, people, is my real life. For which I am grateful. Every day. I have a good education, friends, and an awsome big bro.
Some days aren't as fun. Some days I really just want to crawl under the covers with my stuffed rabbit Daisuke and wake up when it's over. But hell. Life doesn't work that way.
Life's a bitch, yeah. But you got to make it your bitch, got it?
OMG... today... was so fucking horrible. yesterday i mean. Shit it's 1.30 am... i can't believe the sick feeling isn't gone yet. i feel like it will never go away... what can i say? there is something evil inside of me. i have to kill it somehow. just end it. my life sucks. no one cares about me. and today was worse. i am worthless.
even bleeding it didn't make it go away. and i cried too. so much crying and so much blood. it has to end in blood. my blood. my life... i need to sleep. i want to sleep forever. be like a princess under a spell but no one will come call me out of it. no happy ending for me.
there are easy ways and there are ways that will cause me pain as i go. which should i choose? i deserve pain. shit. today the worls turned it's back on me... i will take my bows now and walk off the world stage... i will take pain.
i will cry but no one will cry for me.
*The only thing true about the above is that it made me wince every time I typed "i" instead of "I". And I know there's missing commas and shit in there. And Lord of Light... that is the only time I will write Ooompa Mooch Grapes. I was trying to make a point. You see, I am sick of all these blogs where people write how depressing their lives are and how they'd like to kill themselves. They are cowards. They just want attention. Pity. Whatever. I feel for some of these people, but the things they write are disturbing, and if there really is a problem, then they should talk to someone. Like a therapist. Or their parents. Not a bunch of people on the internet who can only sit here on the other side of the computer screen and try to console the person.
Some people can't be consoled. Bloody hell. Then don't ask for it. Go do whatever you want with your life but leave us out of it. Especially if you are so set on your depression, so comfortable in that morbid little zone listening to music that sounds like a cross between a car wrek and Brittney Spears, drawing little stick figures hanging from trees and writing insane poetry to people you're obsessing over.
So today in T'ai Chi we practiced being humble. Bein ghumble hurts. Especially since mostly we have to be humble on our backs, and we practice on a hardwood gym floor. Then we did cardio T'ai Chi. By the time class was over, I walked home in the rain. And I had my umbrella. The rain was refreshing.
Today I will go shopping. I need some frozen foods as my meal plan leaves me to fend for myself on the weekends. I also need shampoo. It will take a great deal of will power to keep myself from buying Kingdom Hearts II. Kumiko's coming along for once, and she has promised to keep me away from the video games.
I did RP until nearly 4 this morning. This is getting to be a very good game, and I'm developing Skye more as a character. Which is pretty chizz. I'm getting to develop Buddybot a bit, too. Which I didn't expect. But still. Chizzness major. I look forward to it because that's the time I spend with my big bro [Mister Saint].
Kumiko takes ages to get ready, even though she woke up before me, she's still getting dressed as I sit here and write this.
In a serious effort to get my ass back onto some form of writing other than RP, I managed to put up an entry for the monthly Five Words contest. It sucks, yes. But I like it, in a weird way. I usually don't wrte stuff like that under the fiction section. Somethign like that would usually go into my fanfic file for a Teen Titans story or something. But there it is.
I have also started writing for the Ice Castle bit, and my Once Upon a Birthday comes slowly but steadily.
So yesterday around 5ish pacific time the whole internet went down. Everyone in the house was affected and I could tell thaty all I had to do was stand on a chair and scream "Attack!" and we'd be all over Louis. I kind of felt bad for him, you know. He's the computer aid, so whenever something bad happens with the internet, he gets blamed. And it was down all night and only just came back up. As we found out, it wasn't Louis's fault. Or anyone's in the house. It was our service provider, who Louis spent about two hours on the phone with yesterday.
We're all good now, and hopefully it won't happen again. Louis says it won't because we're switching providers.
Happy Birthday Writersco!
Man, I remember how honored I was to be invited here, how I had to figure out how to post writings, and finally, finally discovering Flipside. I'm working on a long piece for Event and two short stories right now. And I love it. I love having tons of writing projects going on. I love Writersco. I've got all my friends here, my big bro, and the colors don't make me sick. Cheers.
Today, I am in a damn good mood.
First of all, I finished a role play. Finished. Character buildup, plot, climax, resolution and all. And it was tai scein. Utterly chizz. Do you have any idea how great it feels to finish a text-based RP? I do. And best of all, I got to play with the amazing, talented artist [Nightshadow] who invited me here in the first place, and my huggable, extraordinary onlyest big bro, [Mister Saint]. And the best part of this play was that I got to play with my favorite char, and it looks like this story will continue. Chizzness. Major.
Next week I go back home for Spring Break. The next essay due in my stupid English class actually looks interesting. And I am a part of Writersco, a wonderful community.
I am blessed.
I have folded many cranes already. 1000 is still a far ways off.
鶴
My internet is behaving all wonky today... "limited or no connectivity" one moment, then "signal strength: Excellent" the next. Apparently, I'm not the only one with these troubles. I say we all go beat the snot out of Louis.
Amethyst Dragon
In the war between good and evil, a Amethyst Dragon tends to walk the fine line of Neutrality.
When it comes to the powers of Chaos vs. those of Law and Order, your inner dragon walks a fine line between Law and Chaos.
As far as magical tendancies, Magical spells come as natural to the Amethyst Dragon as breathe from it's body.
During combat situations, whether by spells or by claw, your inner dragon will do whatever it takes to get the job done.
Dragon Description:
The Amethyst Dragon makes its home in the deep caverns of the earth, often in mountainous regions. They spend much time in hibernation as one of their favorite things to do is to sleep.
Formed from translucent amethyst, it is an awe inspiring sight to see one in it's true form. Light passes through the dragon's body creating a deep purple glow. It's scales will magnify the light rays into bright lavender beams to highlight this effect.
Amethyst dragons spend most of their time homebound but do occasionally feel the need to take a sojourn to a far destination. These dragons love books and will often pick their destination from one of the many stories and histories they may have read.Amethyst dragons are very solitary in nature, but do keep a distant watch on the world around them. They tend to be highly intelligent, and often amuse themselves in human form by building gadgets and toys. Amethyst dragons are very learned creatures.
This Dragons favorite elements are: Amethyst, Deep Places, and Magic
今日は かいもの を しまし
*Today I went shopping.
私 は 日本語 を かいてま
I could have sworn I just saw Skye walk in...
or are my eyes playing tricks on me?
It has not been a good morning... all that RP last night was exciting and all, but that's the problem. I'm playing and I don't want to go to bed until the next edit. Or maybe the one after that... so by the time I turn off the computer, I litterally just walk over to my bed and fall asleep.
I woke up late and didn't have time for even a glass of juice before I rode my bike to my math class, where I had a TEST today. Luckily, I'd actually done some studying so I knew what I was doing.
Other than that, I think today has the potential to put me in a damn good mood. I just wish there wasn't a student council meeting later...
Sessha's super chizz Cookie Fairy "Loaded with Chocolate Chips Cookies" recipie!
Ingredients!
-1 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
-1/2 teaspoon salt
-1/2 teaspoon baking powder
-1 teaspoon vanilla extract
-1 large egg
-8 tablespoons unsalted butter (Sessha recommends "Challenge" butter. Ish in a blue box with a moose on it! Or is it a deer?)
- 1/4 cup white granulated sugar
- 1/2 cup brown sugar
- 12 oz. (2 cups) chocolate chips
*3/4 cup chopped walnuts or pecans optional.
Direction:
Preheat oven to 375
1.Combine in bowl flour, salt, baking powder.
2. In another bowl, beat egg, butter, white and brown sugars. When smooth add vanilla extract.
3. Little by little add flour mixture to butter/egg/sug
4. Add chocolate chips (and nuts).
5. Drop onto cookie sheets lightly buttered with the unsalted stuff. (You don't have to do this but it makes it easier.)
6. Bake for 15-20 minutes!
"I have not slept since noon of yesterday. If you are standing between me and my bed, you are my enemy. Move before I condem you to the Hell which I define as the rest of your existence without the joy of my cookies!"
Yeah, it was that kind of morning. I didn't sleep all night... too busy working on my draft for the English essay.
Andrew: "You stayed up all night to write a draft? Are you mad?"
Me: "I guess so."
Andrew: "Well alright, then."
Event word count: 883.
Chizz.
I feel like every time I leave, some sort of bomb goes off... at least I'm not in the middle of it. But the after effect really sucks. I wish I knew what was going on.
I just went home for the weekend.