“march 7, 2015, I have discovered more about fourteen a few days ago. As far as I know she was a government project who escaped. Her name is kisa which when spoken to her triggered some memory. I have yet to understand it fully. Once she wakes up I will try it once more and see if I can get more from her.”
     As I watched her sleep her fever off from my study I couldn’t stop thinking about what I had learned. Such an innocent girl made into a government project before she was old enough to protest. I pitied her, I pitied the fact she had no choice in the matter, I pitied the fact that she couldn’t even remember why she is like this. I got up and went over to her, her breathing still heavy I laid down next to her and wrapped my arms around her. I felt this moment was just what I needed though I still felt off about the feelings I had for her I couldn’t deny them anymore. Lying next to her I felt my sadness for her swell up inside me and for once I cried I let it all out. As a scientist emotions can’t get in the way of studies and research. so I never showed how I felt. though I may have had inner battles about what I was doing I would always choose the one choice the was for science, but I realized she isn’t just for science she isn’t just another research project she was a person, one I had deep feelings for. I cared for her more than I cared for anyone else, but I tried to not show it a lot so I didn’t let them get in the way of helping her. This moment was different, this moment seemed right, so I just let it all out I cried for the first time in a long while and held her close to me. After that I realized how tired I was, I hadn’t slept in days. I had been so preoccupied with finding out more about kisa I hadn’t even thought about sleep lately. So I kissed her forehead and drifted off to sleep next to her.
     She woke me up the next day with her eyes full of worry. I had apparently fallen asleep longer than I though. It was six p.m. that next day I had slept thirty two hours it was no wonder she was worried. I sat up and she seemed ecstatic that I could move. I stretched and decided to go make dinner after telling kisa I was fine. I was really out of it lately I had no track of time and my head was spinning with emotions and questions. What was I going to do? What could I do? She was so vulnerable so fragile and I had no way of really keeping her completely safe. I had no idea about her past; I didn’t know where to start. Many times I had thought about bringing her to the institute, maybe they could help her more. I quickly threw those thoughts to the side. It was too risky if any of them found out she was an escaped project from the government who knows what would happen to her. so since everything I had been watching over her and trying to add on to what I already had learned. I hadn’t gotten very far. I snapped out of my trance and went back to dinner.
“Kisa dinner is ready! ...kisa!?” at first I got no response, but after a while I heard a crash come from her room. I dropped my plate and ran towards her room. As I entered her room I saw one of the vases, one the many that have now been filling my house full of flowers she had picked for me, on the ground shattered everywhere. Not fat from it what kisa kneeling on the ground clenching her head and silently screaming. I slowly, cautiously stepped towards her. “K-kisa” she looked up at me, something was wrong. Something had snapped inside her she wasn’t her. she looked like a trapped animal that had just gotten she wasn’t the kisa I had talked to a few minutes ago. I reached towards her. “Kisa are you okay what’s wrong??” her eyes widened and like it was in one graceful motion she reached out and clawed my eye, the shock pushing me to the floor, and ran out the door. I felt the pain surge from my eye, I reached up to touch it and pulled back as I noticed blood hit the floor. “Kisa!!!!!” I yelled towards the doorway. I held my hand to my eye as I stood up and ran after her. She was fast very fast. When I walked outside she was gone. i was bleeding a lot but at that moment all I could think of was kisa. So I ran I had no idea which direction she headed off in but I had no choice I had to find her. I screamed her name over and over, feeling weaker and weaker as I ran my hand covered in the blood that was dripping down my face. She had gotten a good hold on me with her nails the cut was deep and very painful. I made it to the river that cut my property in half an decided I needed to wash my cuts before I kept looking. The river was pretty clean water so I was pretty sure it wouldn’t be dangerous. The cuts had stung as I splashed water on my face. I screamed a little as I tried to wash one of the deeper ones. Kisa must of heard me screaming because in a moment I could here her approaching me down the river bank. My defenses went up as she got closer since I couldn’t see her through my right eye I had no idea if she was still out of control. She seemed calm through what I could hear, but I couldn’t tell until I opened my other eye. I winced, since opening that eye made my right one twitch. She was next to me now and she looked like she had before she snapped, calm and full of love. Her eyes were sorrowful and sad as she reached toward my injured eye. I didn’t want her touching it only because of the pain it caused me so I grabbed her hand and moved I down. At that moment she started to sob I could tell she was sorry and regretted her actions. I didn’t think anything of it though I knew something happened that was out of her control so I shushed her and told her I was fine. She knew I was lying she could obviously see the deep wound by my eye. She knew she had blinded me but she also knew I knew it was an accident.
Once we were back at the house she had me sit down on my couch and left the room. As she had me wait I wondered what had happened earlier. I thought about it a lot while I was searching for her yet I couldn’t think of why she snapped and what she turned into for that matter. Right when she entered the room I had a realization, I finally understood what had happened. As she knelt down and took my hand away from my eye I watched her as she cleaned and wrapped my eye. “Since when did u become such a good caretaker” I smirked at her. she glanced at me and then back at what she was doing. I decided I would give it a shot and see if my hunch was right. “It was the name wasn’t it?” I remembered how she acted when Nadia spoke it to trigger memories. She stopped what she was doing but never moved her gaze, telling me I was right. “You don’t like that name do you?” she shook her head and I started to feel like this was my entire fault, I hurt her and myself. She started to go back to bandaging my wounds and we went back to the silence. I wondered why she didn’t like the name but I kept the rest of the questions to myself. She had just gotten some of her memory back and I wasn’t going to pry too far. Lately she had begun painting ever since some of her memories had returned, they were blurs of colors but something told me that they had a meaning. So after that we went on with our daily routines as if nothing had happened. I’d go back to my studies and walks and she would go back to watching me or painting. Every few days she would change my bandages and I would talk to her about how she was and if anything had changed but I would never go too far into it. Most of our days were filled with silence and tension both of us in deep thought and regret. Some nights though we would just take a break from it all, push all the thoughts aside and live in the moment. She’d sneak into my room just like she had that one night and we’d kiss, just kiss nothing more. In those moments my life was a fantasy I was happy and warm. I never wanted those nights to end but when they did we would just go about our day as if it never happened. This was how it was for a while I never got more information about her past and we never really talked about It all that much. I started wondering if this was it, if this was all I was going to know about her.
Until, that one day that changed my view on the world and on her. we sat at the table like any other night. We silently ate dinner I read one of my books as she stared off into her own world. If people saw us now they probably would have thought we were an old married couple, but we had what most didn’t a connection. We didn’t need to talk to each other just the presence was enough. I went to bed wondering if tonight would be one of those nights. The warm embraceful nights we sometimes had, but in a matter of minutes I had my answer. It would be a very special night but not a good one. I heard pounding on my front door but before I could get out of my bed the door was bashed down and my house was swarmed by the military. I was able to make it to fourteens room before they got to her but I still wasn’t strong enough. in a matter of moments they pushed me aside and grabbed fourteen by the arms and handcuffed her. Soon I felt another pair of cuffs on my own wrists. “What’s going on? What’s this about?” as I asked this a kind of short stumpy old man in a black tux came to the front of the troops. “Edik Bardzecki you are under arrest for harboring a government fugitive” my eyes widened I looked at fourteen and back at who I supposed was a government agent. “She’s just a girl she didn’t do anything!” I yelled. I watched as she struggled against the two men trying to restrain her “let her go she has done nothing wrong!” he soon got face to face with me his face a few inches from my own. “You can tell that to the eight men of mine that died by her hand” he glared at me then turned away. He walked back through the group of soldiers and I heard him whistle. In formation the turned around and dragged her out of the house two soldiers stayed behind with me to keep me restrained. “Wait! WAIT!! What are you going to do to her please what are going to do!” I struggled and struggled trying to break free from the two men holding me back. I watched her closely as they dragged her out against her will, tears streaming down her face. Before she was out of my house I heard her speak. “Edik!!” over and over again she screamed my name as they took her away. After a few moments I heard a radio go off on one of the soldiers and after a short conversation they started dragging me out as well. They apparently though I was a threat because as we stepped outside a S.W.A.T van was waiting for us. They stuck me with one soldier inside that cold dark van and I sat there in thought and worry of what I was going to do. It seemed to take forever before we arrived at our destination. They treated me like a class four murderer. As I stepped inside the bright fluorescent police station they pushed me toward a back room where I assumed I was going to be interrogated. What had I gotten myself into.