he threw another punch at adam. i looked at his face though extremely pissed off he had concern in it for me. worried. eh was worried. i moved back against the wall and started wiping the tears i realized were falling from my eyes. i watched as over again he punched adam. i don't think he cared that adam was a student. he then picked adam up off the floor and dragged him over to the door. "i-i-i'm reporting you man fuck" he fled out the door. blake turned around and looked at me. i felt another tear leak out but quickly wiped it away. he walked over and picked me up while also gracefully picked up my clothes. i put my head against his chest. "i...i'm scared." he looked down at me "i'm here now it'll be okay" i felt a smile try and come out but that horrible feeling from what had just happened prevented it. we soon got back to the room and he set me on the bed. i felt so violated i didn't want anyone to see me not even blake so he left. i went straight to the bathroom and took a shower.it didn't work i sat in the tub for hours scrubbing and scrubbing i felt so dirty. i dropped the sponge and cupped my face with my hands and sobbed. i couldn't take it anymore.i grabbed my arm and dragged it across. several times. 10...11...12. ugh it wasn't enough i had to make more. 23...24...25. i dropped the blade. the bath water now dyed red i just sat in and sobbed.i soon heard noises coming from the room. "issie?" it was anna. "i-i-i'm in here" i said softly. she opened the door "blake told me what h-" she shrieked at the sight of my blood. she closed the door and locked it. she ran over to me "issie...what did you do." i turned my wrist towards her. her eyes got wide. "issie why i know what happened but still you can't this...your supposed to be the strong one" she fretted. "please you can't tell anyone okay?"i asked her. she looked at me but finally agreed. good now this was our secret. i got up and she handed me a red towel so it wouldn't show the blood. i emptied the bathtub and made sure not blood stained it. after that i covered up the cuts i made and wore long shirts until they healed. i stopped in the door way. its been a while. there they were those silhouettes. everywhere. i stood there and stared they all tried saying something to me. but they never could. "issie are you okay?" i heard anna. i looked her way silhouettes still there. "y-yeah i'm just tired." i went over to the couch and laid down. "okay well i'll let you sleep" she said "hey" she looked at me "dont tell anyone" i put emphasis cause i assumed she would try and tell at least one person. she nodded her head with sad eyes.i went to class wearing a long sleeved shirt to cover up the cuts. when i got to class apparently word had got out about adam and skye. all eyes were on me. i was sad so sad and upset i felt so disgusting and i was all ready a freak. but instead of giggles from gossip about me like usual. none talked they just looked. i was a quiet one i was not one to be loud. sure i was a bad kid but i wasn't bad around people unless most of my friends were with me. alot of my friends were in this class but by the looks on their faces they weren't gonna talk to me today. i assumed they thought i already had enough of this as it was. and yeah i have i was tired of always being the center of attention. the way i dressed made people act and talk differently about me. black jeans and a fishnet shirt with a tank top over it. i closed my eyes and sunk into my chair without a sound. i hated all of this.my face was blank with no emotion the entire day i felt like shit but i was surely not going to show anyone. i sat through all my classes like a drone until i got back to my room. i skipped practice and decided no to tell blake i was hoping he would understand considering the incident of last night.i laid in bed for hours till blake came in at about 8. he immediately knew i was awake and came and sat at hte end of the couch i now called my bed. "you know your new room is ready right?" he looked at me with sad eyes. i nodded my head. he gave me a warm smile. "you can stay here as long as you want." he stood up and started to walk away. "i will be here if you ever need me. i only want to help you iz" iz? did he just call me iz? i smiled at that. a tear slid down my cheek but i didn't care enough to wipe it away....i soon fell asleep no dreams or anything my mind was completely blank.i woke up to voices out side the door. wait a minute this wasn't blakes door. i looked around all my stuff had been add and all blakes had been taken away. i touched my side where the gaping wound had been. it healed quite nicely. i listened quietly to the people talking out side of my room. "she needs a very watchful eye we can't let our guard down." said one guy."he hired us as escorts so thats what we have to do." he as in blake i assumed. gods he cared so much for me he even hired escorts so i wouldn't get hurt again. i smiled sadly. i got up and stumbled over to the closet and quickly grabbed a sweater and jerked it over my head. i pulled on some black pants and sat down. i was so glad it was saturday. i had a good chance of keeping my distance from alot of people i sat down on the couch. i immediately realized it was th couch blake had in his room. he gave it to me. i turned on the tv and just sat there and didn't move. there was nothing good on. oh well i sat there and watched the discovery channel. something about how life revolves around us and even if someone dies or shit it still revolved. wow this was getting interesting actually. four hours of sitting at the tv and then i heard a knock at the door. "Isabella...you have a visitor" said one of the guards. anna walked in and smiled at me she turned to one of the guards "thank you" when the door closed she immediatly asked "whats with them" with that cute smirk on her face. " i think blake hired them to protect me" i said sadly. she quirked her head. "i feel so weak and helpless and i just i don't know what to do anymore you know. i don't want to be this one girl that everyone pusses around." she sat next to me "it'll be okay" she whispered to me. i started to sob alot. "i don't like to be pushed around and you know this i just want to be some normal girl that not everyone sees as a freak when i walk around. i hate all of this the gossip has to stop the looks i get they treat me like im not even human.what is it about me that makes them look at me like im just there to toss around." i then started to get extremely mad. "i hatye them i hate them all i just want them all to dissapear i hate adam and skye and xander and the one i hate most out of every one....is myself. im a push over the only reason few are scared of me is my rep the bad things i did in the past but no pain ever got involved.im weak and i'll never be anything different i hate." she looked at me with sad eyes."is this why you've been taking extra training with blake?" i nodded my head. "i dont wanna be pushes around anymore"