[Emily]: 252.Dark and Horror.Dark Junkie

2005-12-31 Kuzco: My favourite one yet.
A great meaningful story and an intriguing take on a vampire story. Just one thing to point, it's got a great end but I can't quite catch the concept of "nemesis" unless it's only meaning is "enemy". That and who the hell was Marco or better yet, what. I'm saying this in the eventuality that the reader's supposed to be hinted about these two topics, otherwise ignore them cuz the story works just as well with the mistery around them. After all, it's not about that.
Very well indeed, enjoyed it a lot. :D

2005-12-31 Emily: Well, I was really thinking of revising the story. There's a few typos in there that bug me and a few things that I never got a chance to mention when Marco does his big explanation.

What Marco didn't know is that Roman had become alive again, in the end -- every time they kissed or did something intimate, Roman's eyes turned a little more golden (the color of HER eyes), because he was taking her life, or rather, sharing it.

Don't know if I'll change it to Marco really finding the way to kill Dark Junkies or if he'll just think he has, so Roman can get some revenge... I'll be changing the ending just a little, though.

I did receive some complaints about it, though -- I'm really glad that you liked the ending! I always liked it, too, but felt it was lacking in answering everything.

As for Marco... he's just a mortal man with a very high ambition to take over the world. Nothing special there.

And yes, nemesis meaning enemy!

2006-01-01 Kuzco: yeah, lacking on answering everything. That's what I mean. and yeah, thanks for making it clear. I for one think the story is perfect as it is. BUT, it's your story of course, if Roman lives Roman lives :). I forgot to mention I liked the idea of him being a kid, nobody ever did that.

2006-01-01 Emily: He's just a puny little 15 year old vampire... who's really not 15/16. Usually you have these tall, broad, handsome vampires who were changed into vampires when they were 18-25. Too cliche for me!

2006-01-01 Kuzco: I noticed. Like I said, very well thought out. A kid much more experienced and wiser than any man ;)

2006-01-29 Kaimee: I didn't find it mysterious, unless you'd already edited by the time I read it, 3 weeks or so ago...!
I prefer the death ending. I'm sick of either the invincible vampire heroes or the easily stake-through-hearted baddies.
This was just right. He's bad, yeah? He's a vampire, he kills people. But he had our sympathies and he was turning human and so it hurt when he died.
I think you've found the best possible way to tell the story, and seriously, the twist at the end was very well done. I hate to sound cliche, but heartrending, seriously; when you figured out what was happening, what had been planned.
It's better. The idea of it, the story. It's complete with him dead.
If you revive him just so he can get revenge it just becomes another vampire-turned-good-la-la-hero romance vengeance epic, and that is just... ugh, betraying the very idea you've got here. It's complete as it is, edit it if you want ;) but don't kill the story, leave it.

2006-01-29 Emily: I hadn't originally planned on changing the death ending... I need to re-read the story and go over my notes for what I did want to do XD. Basically I just wanted to make it a little more complicated than it is, since this was an attempt at a 'political' story with a twisty plot and all.

Right, but he was like alive because of the chick, whatever her name was... A...edline or something... Adelaide! There we go. because she was purely innocent... sooo technically Marco doesn't know if the pill actually works for Dark Junkies, because by the time Roman took the pill he was a Light Junkie. I wanted to clear that one up in the story. It's all in the golden eyes.

And no... no revenge. I don't want to write a revenge story. Yuck, that just doesn't go with this.

My plan for edit isss just to elaborate and make the plot thicker and the characters more alive. This will... of course.. expand the story probably quite a bit. I'll probably be breaking it up into two parts, though, for sure.

Thanks for the loverly words, though. :D

2006-01-29 Kaimee: Read your messages :P