[~*Lonely Wanderer*~]: 264.What Went Wrong?

She was a loved child, she just never knew it. I thought she did, but she didn’t for some odd reason. She was my really good and close friend. She always made me look at things with life at a new perspective. I always wondered if there was a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I always wondered if a penny lying face up on the ground was lucky; but I’ve chased after those dreams, and none of them were ever true for me. I always wondered if she would be happier alone. Sometimes she would call me on the phone and if I sounded busy to her, she would ask if she wanted me to have her go. Yeah, I might have been busy, but because of that it seemed to make her feel....unwanted, if that’s a way to put it. I loved her dearly as a friend but sometimes it makes me worried when I hear the horrible stuff she thinks about. She’s always thinking about death but yet so am I...I only thought of death as an escape from here and from people... but I could never…what is it called....cut? Yeah, I could never cut myself or...or, self infliction or anything because....I knew that I had a future ahead of me, and I wanted to be apart of that future. I wonder if she thinks that she does. I wonder if she thinks she’ll go to college. I hope she does. But now.....


Now I stand here at her grave.

And I wonder...if there was something that I did wrong.