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2006-08-25 Emily: You forgot a lot of your apostrophes. 2006-08-25 shadow in the midst: thats ok. with critique i can only further enhance my poetry. thanks. and yes the space was meant to be in there... because i actually couldnt quite write love at the time. not there at least...[shadow in the midst]: 279.I Miss You.
Rating: 0.00 Uploaded by: Created: 2006-08-25 16:44:13 Keywords: I sit alone and think aloud
Only a tear can show my pain
Remembering how we once were
Now I'm losing you once again
I know I shouldn't care
You are now nothing to me
But that just makes it harder
Nothing comes easily...
I miss you with all my heart
Or as much of it that's left
I just wish there was something more
To help me to forget
You were so gentle; so smooth
So beautiful in every way
And now how can I get over you
What is left to say
Time heals all wounds or so it's said
I have no choice at all
So I will stand against the winds
And swim against the waterfall
A test of all my strength
To stay quiet and calm this time
Before I spoke and hurt you so
Your lo ve for her so sublime
Love? Oh love? Oh can it be so?
Never again could I feel it be
But maybe you have... possible yet
Just why all others but me?
It didn't work, it will never work
I can't get that through my head
I guess there really are some words
That are better left unsaid...
Such as, "I love, and I miss you
I wish you were here with me
Nothing's the same against all hope
Bring me back dear insanity..."
"I know I shouldnt care" > "I know I shouldn't care."
"Or as much of it thats left" > "Or as much of it that's left."
"Time heals all wounds or so its said" > "Time heals all wounds or so it's said."
"Your lo ve for her so sublime" Funky space you got going on there. :D
"It didn't work it will never work
I can't get that through my head
I guess there are actually some words
That are better left unsaid..."
"Like "I love, and I miss you" > "Like, "I love, and I miss you". But personally, I suggest changing 'like' to something like 'such as'. Sounds less teenagerish.
Otherwise, lovely love poem. I much enjoyed it. Sorry for not a more wholesome comment... poems just sort of throw me off.