[Fireheart]: 318.Short Stories.I Just Can't Believe My Luck

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2006-12-30 19:04:43
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I Just Can't Believe My Luck
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short story
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Free for reading
Kevin hung up the phone and looked at it in shock. He wasn’t sure if he was having a nightmare or not. The police had just notified him that his fiancée had been kidnapped from her photography studio. Kevin wondered how many of these kinds of phone calls an average guy could get. Not ten minutes earlier, he had been notified that he was laid off from his job at the tattoo parlor due to “a new dude in town” whose designs were apparently better than Kevin’s.
Kevin was almost positive that the real reason why he lost his job was because the boss had thought he looked a bit too… refined for his job. How very foolish… Kevin knew his designs were the best this side of L.A. Kevin was hit hard by harsh reality as he remembered Sophia- Marie’s plight.
Sweet, darling Sophie, with her tiny frame, bright, laughing eyes, and waist-length auburn hair. Sophie, the one he had loved for four years now. The girl who woke him up every morning for work, and always had a smile to spare for everyone. And she had been- kidnapped? It was crazy…
Kevin sat abruptly at the kitchen table, dizzy. He felt a freak-out coming on. Under high stress, Kevin had freak-outs. No one else was aware of this but Kevin. He considered it a weakness that he was afraid to share with anyone; it would totally ruin his image, anyway. 
His head spun again, and he laid his cheek on the cool surface of the mahogany table. Gotta stay calm… he thought. He began to formulate some basic thoughts to keep himself under control.
My name is Kevin Mulone. I’m 27 years old. I’m a graphic artist. I have a decent amount of money, and a beautiful house in the suburbs of L.A. I live with my fiancée, who I plan to marry within the next 8-10 months. My mother died when I was eight… and I haven’t seen my father for five years. I lost my job today because I look like a misfit Abercrombie model working as a tattoo designer…(This caused Kevin to snicker.) A calm haze temporarily settled over his mind and he seized enough control to begin working things out.
The woman who had been on the phone from the police said Sophie had been working alone at the photography studio around 5 P.M. when the cameras showed two men with concealed faces attack her at her desk and chloroform her, and then drag her away to a black sedan parked outside of the building. The cops were working on getting more information and would call Kevin back with any new leads.
Kevin made himself a cup of coffee to keep himself occupied; as he was sipping the coffee he felt a sudden wave of nausea, and flew out of his chair, running to the bathroom. As he ran, he was thinking; Crap… the freak-out caught up. He reached the toilet and began retching. A minute or so later, he moved to the sink to clean himself up.
Glancing at the mirror, he saw a well-muscled young man with an angular face and dirty blonde hair staring back at him. He had the rough-around-the-edges model look to him; his sandy bangs were swept back from chiseled features and deep blue eyes.
He sported several tattoos in various places, all but one being of his own design. However, none of said tattoos really did enough to amp up the “badass” enough for a tattoo parlor. Even though Kevin’s designs were extremely popular on his side of L.A., and he had never designed something that someone didn’t like, this obviously hadn’t done enough to counteract that one irksome fact: Kevin had seen the way his boss looked at him. The guy made snide comments and such, and it was obvious that he thought that having what looked like a runaway Abercrombie model sitting behind his counter made for bad publicity. Not to mention Kevin drew the attention of the ladies completely, while the boss got none. And he had thought of every way possible to get rid of Kevin. Well, with any luck Kevin would find himself some other job…
The phone rang, startling Kevin so that he hit his nose on the mirror. With trembling hands he turned off the water and toweled his face dry. What would they have to say? What if Sophie was hurt, or raped, or worse…
Sweet, innocent Sophie…
Kevin strode into the kitchen, eyeing the phone in apprehension. His hand hovered over the contraption. He snatched it up quickly and held it to his ear.
“Hello?” he managed to choke out, without sounding like a complete pussy.
“Hello, Kevin.” Came the smooth, deep voice, slightly accented, on the other end.
Kevin swallowed hard. “Who’s this?” His confusion was quite obvious at this point.
“That is of no importance to you… although if you must know, I am a person to whom your father owed an extensive sum of money many years ago… and never paid back. Other than that, all you need to know is that we have your fiancée. Meet us at the 4th house on Corner street with 100, 000 dollars or you won’t be seeing her ever again.”
There was a click as the unknown caller hung up. Kevin lowered the phone slowly and shakily to the base, and dropped it there. 
He stood by the phone, running his fingers through his hair and thinking deeply. He was too freaked out for a freak-out. Cold sweat ran into his eyes.
“Sweet Jesus…” He breathed, shaking his head. He had the money; that was no big deal, especially considering the price he’d have to pay if he didn’t have it.
He remembered how his dad had abused drugs and alcohol extensively, and wondered briefly if a drug lord from his father’s past was slandering him. It was a possibility… he couldn’t believe that he’d just communicated with Sophie’s kidnapper. He was confused and quite at a lack of things to do.
Finally he decided that he had to go get Sophie back, at all costs. But he felt the need to bring those criminals to justice. A plan formulated in his mind. He’d get his revenge, and if his plan worked the criminals would never go after anyone again. Kevin had a rush of courage, picked up the phone, and dialed.


Kevin shrugged into his leather blazer as he pulled out of the ATM late that night. He tucked an envelope into the inside pocket of his jacket and looked at the dashboard clock of his blue Mustang convertible; 11: 34. Perfect. The radio was blaring “Promiscuous” by Nelly Furtado and Kevin lost himself in the music to take his mind off of the task ahead. 
He remembered his 5th grade astronomy field trip for some reason, in that moment- he’d always been fascinated by the stars as a kid. He remembered looking out of that enormous telescope and feeling like he was among the stars. Excitedly, he’d asked his teacher, Will I ever get to go up there someday, you know, like an astronaut? The teacher had smiled and replied, you can do anything, if you put your mind to it. Kevin dwelled on this as he drove.
He reached Corner Street at about 11: 50. He spied the house at which he was supposed to meet the unknown caller, an ancient and decrepit Victorian mansion that seemed to be abandoned. He parked in the driveway, stopping his car. His palms were sweating, slipping on the steering wheel, and his heart was in his mouth. 
Several minutes later, a black Sedan pulled up behind Kevin’s car. Four masked men dressed entirely in black got out, one carrying a bundle that Kevin recognized immediately as Sophie. She was bound and gagged, but her eyes met Kevin’s in his rear view mirror with a look of pleading fear as the four men approached the driver’s side of the car. That look hardened Kevin’s resolve completely.
“Get out.” The man who seemed to be in charge commanded Kevin, and as Kevin obliged he recognized the man’s voice as being the voice he had heard on the phone.
The moment he was out of the car one of the men pressed him against the door and searched him quickly.
“Look, I don’t want any trouble…” Kevin said. “I just want her back, and then we can forget this ever happened.”
The man who was searching Kevin nodded to the first man, who was obviously in charge. “He’s unarmed,” said the second man to the first.
“Good,” the first man said. Kevin couldn’t tell with the mask, but it sounded like he was smirking. “Now, where is my money?”
Now came the tough part. Kevin swallowed, and began, trying to sound strong as opposed to tentative. “How do I know I can trust you? You’ve kidnapped my fiancée, and duped my father. Hand her over to me first, and then you’ll get your money.”
The first man regarded Kevin silently for a moment, and it was obvious that he was surprised, either by Kevin’s bravery, or by the fact that Kevin’s lucky guess as to who he was had been right on the button. Finally he managed, “Fine.” He motioned for Sophie to be handed over to Kevin.
One man pushed her forward, and the stumbled into the side of the Mustang, hiding behind Kevin. Kevin nodded, appearing satisfied.
He reached inside his jacket and pulled out the envelope, which he handed to the first man. As the man took the envelope, he held it for a second, and then opened it slowly.
As he did so, he talked at Kevin, though he seemed to be speaking more to himself. “I must say, you were far easier to find than your father has proved to be recently… you are a far more prestigious character in the world today. He has faded into the background of mundane living… I’m surprised at you though. So cooperative…” a smirk once again seemed to appear beneath the mask.
The mysterious man finally lifted the envelope flap and looked inside, and saw that it was filled with ones. He let out a snarl of rage began to reach towards his hip, where Kevin saw that he had a gun. His henchmen were all doing the same, when suddenly several bright lights blinded them all. They heard, “THIS IS THE L.A.P.D! DROP YOUR WEAPONS AND PUT YOUR HANDS OVER YOUR HEAD!”
And suddenly they were surrounded by police officers. Kevin’s call had been to the police to notify them of the situation.
As Kevin’s eyes adjusted to the light, he saw the four men being loaded into different police cars. 
As soon as he saw that the danger had passed, Kevin began to untie Sophie. As he did this a police officer approached him and told him that he had just aided the police in catching a group of the nation’s most notorious drug dealers. 
Kevin reached down, smiling, and picked up the envelope of ones. “I’ll take that…” he said. He noticed the lead drug dealer, now unmasked, looking at him, and said, “Nice doing business with you.”
The man glared at him as he was pushed into a cop car and driven away.
Sophie touched Kevin’s arm as he turned away from the scene. She had tears in her eyes, and as soon as he saw this he drew her into his arms and comforted her, stroking her hair. He thanked his lucky stars that she was back with him, safe and sound.
They stood together under the stars and the city night sky.

The next day, Kevin woke up early and made breakfast. He sat at the table, regarding the envelope of ones that had served as his 100,000. 
At around 6: 30 Sophie joined him in the kitchen for breakfast. She was much better off than she had been the night before.
“100,000, huh? They must’ve been crazy.” She said. Kevin had explained the entire story on their way home the previous night.
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“There’s no way I’m worth that much…”
Kevin laughed and then swept her off her feet, giving her a quick kiss. “To me, you are.” He said.
As they sat eating breakfast and sipping their coffee, Sophie asked, “Where are you planning to get a job next?”
Kevin grimaced at the reminder and was about to reply when the phone rang.
Kevin’s eyes pleaded with Sophie. “Please go get that… I’ve had enough nasty phone surprises in the past couple of days to last me a lifetime.”
Sophie smirked, but obliged anyway. “Hello?” she said.
She listened for a few seconds, wrote something down, and then jumped up. “No kidding! Yes? Sure, I’ll let him know!” She hung up and sat next to Kevin, giving him a huge smile, and took hold of both of his hands. 
“Guess what.” She said.
“What? Don’t make me sit here in agony of the moment…”
“Oh, stop being such a ham. The local auto body shop heard about your situation and they want you to come and work for them. You’ll be paid three time as much as you were at that tattoo place- and they’ll have you famous in no time! All you have to do is give them a call…” She was almost as excited as Kevin.
He picked her up again, laughing. “Baby, I already AM famous… in bed!” he said.
He decided that life wasn’t such a disaster after all.

2006-12-30 Fireheart: Grawr.... I'm too lazy to go fix this irksome thing into paragraphs- it was in paragraphs on Word but decided not to be on this page. My apologies to my readers.

2007-01-04 iippo: Nice text, I liked it. There could be a little more surprise, especially in the resolving of the crime, although I must admit I like the realisticness of the police coming in (I hate it when people don't call the police in movies).

The repeated phrase "sweet, innocent Sophie" sounds, to me at least, a direct quote from Kill Bill. I can't remember exactly if it's the same words, but a similar thing is said in the ending of the film, with the same name "Sophie" too. So that bothered me.

2007-09-28 Kiddalee: Wow! That was well written.
  I haven't seen Kill Bill, so the line, "Sweet, innocent Sophie," didn't bother me.
  One thing I noticed about this piece is how it told and did not show certian actions. I feel that the greatest example of this is how Kevin alerts the police. Perhaps, "And suddenly they were surrounded by police officers. Kevin’s call had been to the police to notify them of the situation." could be replaced with dialogue or something, in which Kevin wittily tells the gangsters what he has done, and/or that they trusted him too much.
  I also wonder if "the nation's most notorious drug dealers" got there by falling for a trick like Kevin's. Asking a ransom is giving the cops easy access to you. Maybe they should be a less known group. It sounds like they've been established long enough to have swindled Kevin's dad, not to mention the amount of money they deal with, but could it be possible that the guys who kidnapped Sophie were inexperienced members of an established group?
  Anyways, thanks for the story. The voice is fun to listen to, and the stylishness well established. I'm going to read more.


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